a friend borrows money for self-esteem purpose

i would loan here the money depending on how long i have known here. i feel like that no matter what a person does to you or for what reason they do it you shhould at least trust a person..

The ultimate decision do lie in your own hands and no matter what anyone says here i think it's one you have to make on your own. I can see why it's hard due to the circumstances you have written above. It's your money though and you do what you want with it, if you are guaranteed the money back, then i don't see why not. But if she infact doesn't have any income, i would keep my money.

Well.. I can understand what you are trying to say over here. I am not going to say blindly that- "She should work on her self esteem rather than working on her looks." Instead I think you should help her. She is not happy with her looks.. Instead of lending her the money blindly.. Try to help her yourself. Tell her that she can look good with less efforts and less money as well. Get her a hair cut.. which is good and cheap. Yes do help her if she needs money for that.. Go with her to the beauty palour and help her find which hair style looks good on her. Tell her that you can only help her meeting the ends of her budget .. rest she has to do it on her own. Don't make her feel bad about that she is adopted and things like that.. Make her feel that she is normal like you and others. Make her understand that what matters is what she feels about herself is more important than what OTHERS feel about her. Be with her. Go for a shopping and help her buy some good new clothes.. Don't buy her all clothes yourself.. let her buy them and you help her with some part of the bill. I mean to say that don't pay whole of the bill. (make excuses or something) What I am trying to say here is do help her up with the money but keep check that she doesn't over spend or waste. I don't think that you should give her money all in once and let her go.. I am not saying that you can't trust her.. Just be with her and Help her with her expenses. And at last tell her to get a part time job. As she already has a scholarship so any money she earns will be her personal pocket money!!

I don't think that having a make over is something that important or urgent that a person should actually borrow money to have it. If she uses up her chance to borrow money now, what makes her so sure that she will be able to borrow again in case of emergency? How does she plan to pay for it? If she has a way of paying it then why not just save up for that make over? If you want to help her out, maybe you can just treat her for something you can afford or maybe have a do-it-yourself make over instead. Besides, having a great external appearance is not what is needed to boost a person's self-esteem. The feeling of satisfaction that it gives can quickly fade away. She has to learn to like herself for who she is.

If you really do not feel like lending her money, then do not lend her. The economy is not doing well. I guess it is very impractical to spend money for make-overs and other luxurious unnecessary things especially if you do not have the means to reapy the money back. I guess you will not have a hard time to explain to her that you can lend her money. Its not practical to lend money during this economic time.

To be honest with you try not to let money get in between you guys, because usually when people lend money to friends and family you don't get it back. If you do get the money back the payment of the money is all scattered. Would I have lent her the money am not sure ; I would rather give the money to someone whose in more need, but then again you know your friends situation better then I do.

I can understand that she wants to look good, but doesn't she have a job? what is her proposal on paying you back IF you were to give her the money? I don't think it's a good idea for her to get money for a makeover. If she wants to do that, she can save up for it. Not borrow and then run the risk of not paying it back. However, the call is on you to decide upon.

Well, though appearance is important, but it's not everything.. She might not look good, but appearance is just to create a good 1st impression and that's it.. If she really wants to build on her self esteem, she needs to build up on her confidence.. Let her character and other areas of life prove her ability, instead of relying on looks.. CHaracter and attitude is forever while looks is temporary.. I guess she wont really want ple to like her, because of her looks, and not because of who she is?? It all depends on how u wanna help this fren of yours.. If u think, by going for a make over will help, u can lend her the money, but it might not be the full amount though ^_^

If you are really ready to give her the money,just donate her.That will save your friendship.But if you are a real friend advice her not to concentrate on boosting her self esteem and her merits in studies will gain her reputation among other friends.After all,impressions will not last long.Cheers!

It seems to me your friend has her priorities and values out of focus. It's not true that only physical appearance counts. Countless people have succeeded despite physical appearance, even disabilities. It is better and less costly to improve the inner self. If I were in your situation I will not lend her money for such vain purpose. But I would help her to look for personality enhancement siminars and will even pay for it, if I could afford it.

if shes a person that you can trust and after the makeover,she could find a job and could pay you back,why not? And you must think is the sum of money important you?do you need it for your own family purpose?if she plans to pay montly or whatsoever,will you have enough for yourself?

While a make-over may be good to boost her self-esteem. However, in the long run it's not gonna be a solution to her problem. She need to learn to love herself for who she is. The good, the bad and the ugly. I had been told in my face I'm ugly. Yes, it hurts. It brought my self-esteem to negative point. But then this is how I look. My parents gave birth to me with this face, body, skin and all. Now that I have learned to love myself better, I am comfortable with no make-up (well, mainly is because I don't know how to apply make-up) and simply clothes. I don't need luxurious stuff to boost my self-esteem. My principle in lending money is only when my friend has a need for the money. Such as to pay children school fees, to feed the kids, to have a roof over the head. Things that is a NEED. I once refused to lend a friend money as he needed it to pay a soccer debt. I told him no. I do not lend people money to repay gambling debts. They just have to learn not to gamble if they do not have the money to pay when they lost. You may help her one time. How about the second time? Third time? Everytime she needs a self-esteem boost? The best way is to solve the problem. She just need to love herself. It's a matter of mind. All the best.