i'm really mad at the husband...grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!
@DancingRedFeather1 (1037)
Canada
March 18, 2009 6:40am CST
I was really teed off this morning when I received a message concerning a friend whose husband kept her earnings she made. She use his paypal to be paid and he kept her money
I never ever would do that. Even before the internet existed..I had a joint account at the bank and MY own account. No way was I going to get fleeced even if it is my husband, you never know how a relationship is going to turn out and even if it goes well, I didn't permit him to take any money out without first discussing it with me. He had to have his own bank account too.
Trust me if my husband would have taken one cent without talking to me first, there would have been hell to pay and no way would he have kept any earnings I made.
I shared with my husband, helped when he was out of work but no way would I allow him to keep any money I had worked for and better not touch the joint account..that was in case if anything happened to either of us..there was money.
Women, don't let your man keep your earnings you make online..best of all..get your own paypal and if you can't and have to use someone's..make sure you get that person to sign a paper saying that you are using his or her paypal to put your earnings from..MyLot or other..and make sure you keep a copy of your earnings..because money does funny things to people, so be sure to protect yourself..I don,t care who it is..I trust no one when it comes to money.
The only person I trust is me. I had someone ask me to and I had her sign a paper so not to be accused that I kept her money and asked for a copy of her earnings she received every month, also I had her give me a receipt for every time I gave her money & I stapled it to the copy of the earnings she made.
You TRUST NOBODY because when it comes to money..your family or friend become your enemy.5 people like this
14 responses
@dmrone (746)
• United States
18 Mar 09
Well i trust my husband and he trusts me. Neither one of us has to worry about the other taking money, nor do we have to worry about what the other is doing. We work together completely. I do not see it as his or mine, it is ours. There are people i would not trust, but my husband is not one of them.
@snowcat46 (2322)
• United States
20 Mar 09
That's kind of funny. I don't trust anyone,ever. When I married my hubby, (I gave in after much argument. I loved the big palooka.), I refused to have our accounts together. He was fine with it. Even encouraged it. Later on, we combined it to buy a house. After it was paid off, he insisted I get another account just for me. Not because he didn't trust himself, but because he knew I felt more comfortable having money he couldn't touch.
Even if someone can be trusted, it is better to have another account. There will always be a 'just in case.' What if someone tries to sue him, and wins? They can take everything he owns. But they can't take what's in your account, cause he doesn't own it. There is a good reason to think ahead.
@DancingRedFeather1 (1037)
• Canada
18 Mar 09
As long as your relationship is fine..it will always be that way..you hope.
@maidangela7349 (1191)
•
19 Mar 09
We have been married 52 years and while we have at times to be careful with money we have never had a problem with deciding how we should spend it. We have a joint account and we each have personal accounts plus various savings accounts. If we have a big expenditure we look at all the accounts and decide which one we had best take the money from irrespective of whos name is on the account
1 person likes this
EXCELLENT!
@DancingRedFeather1 (1037)
• Canada
18 Mar 09
Yes absolutely true!!! I don't know why she doesn't have her own, I didn't ask. Boy I felt so bad for her as she was in tears about it. Trust me he would have had his ear chewed off if he did that to me without asking me first. 2 people like this
@DCMerkle (1281)
• United States
19 Mar 09
DancingRedFeather1,
The only thing that I can think that would have prevented the women not to open her own account was that she didn't have her own bank account. You're right though. I would never share any money that I have made on my own with my hubby. When we were together, all my writing gigs were my baby, like his playing out gigs were his. He was a member of a band. The only money that we shared is what we needed for household expenses that came from our 9-5 jobs.
DCMerkle
@DancingRedFeather1 (1037)
• Canada
19 Mar 09
Exactly, we shared also and kept money we made on the side for ourselves to have a little independence. We made sure the family was well cared for first the rest was for each other to do what we wanted.
@bamakelly (5191)
• United States
18 Mar 09
That just isn't right no matter how you look at it. I do partially agree with what you are saying here though. In a marriage there has got to be some compromise and sacrifice and of course sharing. I don't believe in things just being one sided and if there is going to be a "what's yours is yours and what's mine is mine", I don't see the sense in tying the knot. There are just things that have to be understood in a marriage.
I know that I would give my husband something if he needed it and vice versa.
The table turns at the idea of a spouse actually just blatantly taking the money off of the other. That isn't fair. It is like stealing.
That man should not have done that. I can see your anger.
In a sense I can understand about protecting your belongings and money in a marriage but then again in some cases money should be shared and nothing kept in secret or stolen.
1 person likes this
@billyzeng (32)
• China
19 Mar 09
Oh no,I am so terrible to read your post.
TRUST NOBODY? only because of money,and become your enmemy,so bad for it.
Mylot and PP are good on the internet,many many people take part in,don't worry about it,we are here.
@DancingRedFeather1 (1037)
• Canada
19 Mar 09
I don't trust anyone when it comes to money..to a certain point. Money is the root of all evil. Look at the world..wars all the time..for what principally..GREED=MONEY.
I have earned my reputation that with MJ..you can count on her! If a pure stranger trusted me with money..I would think they are idiots because they don't know me.
Would I trust my husband? Sure if he earned my trust from the time I went out with him. Why should I trust someone I like immediately. Trust has to be earned. I don't trust blindly because I'm in love or your my friend..because friendship also has to be earned.
On here we can be friends easily..but in person who could we consider trustworthy?
Only fools trust people without finding out anything about them. I wouldn't lend you money if I knew you only a month. What have you don't to prove to me you earned my friendship enough to borrow money from me?
People forget that friendship also has to be earned.
How many husbands or women cheat their husbands, hide money from them because they are selfish. I know one person who is so scrouge that if she gives 20$ he has to bring back receipts ..I gave her a good tongue lashing the other day..and told her that it was absolutely ridiculous to do that.
So yesterday..she happened to have forgotten her wallet at home and asked to borrow 20$..I said sure..but make sure you bring me back receipts for what you spend it with..I want to make sure you spent it for something worthy! 
She looked at me! Then she started laughing and said..*M.J. you are so right! How ridiculous I have been with my husband.* I smiled and said..* I know..am always right*!!!
She looked at me! Then she started laughing and said..*M.J. you are so right! How ridiculous I have been with my husband.* I smiled and said..* I know..am always right*!!!
@lingli_78 (12822)
• Australia
19 Mar 09
you are so right... i never trust anybody too when it comes to money... even with my own hubby... he has his own account and i have my own account too... my hubby is also a spender and i am a saver... so i make sure that i hide some money without him knowing for emergency and when we are broke, at least we still have some money... take care and have a nice day...
@xtedaxcvg (3189)
• Philippines
25 Mar 09
My wife always takes care of our finances. Every payday I give all my salary to my wife for her to budget and save. I trust my wife with money matters. I believe she's the best person to manage our finances. My wife doesn't go online that much so the money I earn here in mylot is something extra and I make it a point to always save it on my personal account.
@goldeneagle (6743)
• United States
18 Dec 09
I have my own account and my wife has her own account as well. We are both on each other account, but I do not use her account, and she does not use mine. We do transfer money between the accounts when needed, but we keep our incomes separate. For a while, we only had one account, and our incomes went into the same account. It did work pretty well, except for one fact. She had the debit card and the checkbook, and managed the account, which is how I preferred it, because I didn't have to worry about it, but I would forget to get money for gas or lunch or whatever else I needed it for. So, I would be out somewhere, then I would realize that I needed gas and didn't have any money to pay for it. This is the main reason I decided to get a separate account of my own...
@maidangela7349 (1191)
•
15 Apr 09
I don't quite understand why you are teed off about this. If she did not want her husband to do this all she has to do is open her own account and have her money payed into that. My wife and I have a joint account and personal accounts.
@TnWoman (1895)
• United States
18 Mar 09
hello dancingredfeather
i hear ya about not being able to trust anybody these days. it is ashame that i cannot even trust my own husband, if you want to call him that. but i took care of the problem thou, yesterday afternoon, when that i found out that he wasn't going to give my Mylot money to me, i went into my Mylot account and had my account information switched to my brother's account. yeah, he gets drunk and makes fun of me while that i am Mylotting, and then turns around and keeps my money. well it won't happen again. he'll feel funny waiting on the Mylot funds to roll in again next month to his paypal account only to find out that their be no more. lol hate it for him. he tried to argue with me yesterday afternoon, saying that he thought that he had given the money to me already. whatever. he knows damn good and well that he didn't. right now, he is only hurting himself. plus on top of us arguing yesterday like that, i was told to get out of the house. he just cannot throw me and the boys out. i do not believe that it works like that. we'll see what that a judge has to say about it. sorry to have cried on your shoulder last night, i needed a friend and it was too late at night here for me to have called any of my friends around here. (hugs) thanks so much for starting the Mylot discussion, if i would have started it, it would have gotten deleted for sure.
take care and have a beautiful day today!
@DancingRedFeather1 (1037)
• Canada
19 Mar 09
Girfriend you can cry on my shoulder anytime..that what friends are for..never say you are sorry. I am honored that you trusted me enough to come to me. Yes, I figured that it was maybe best I started it..seeing how you were but I didn't mention any names to keep it confidential. I thought it would be good to open a discussion on that because many women are caught that way. I felt so bad..I would have like to be there to smack him one.1 person likes this
@agrim94 (3805)
• India
1 Apr 09
Money is cause for many breakups and money is very important in life. Out here in India we have little different then you have there. Hardly any marriage end up in divorce. There are about 20 to 25,000 cases of divorce in delhi courts , it might look a lot but Delhi city has a population of over 16 ( sixteen) million. And out here it is common money and no big expense in house is done without talking to not only husband and wife but also his dad and mom too as if the couple is running short of money then the parents do help. But i am male so may be i cant understand your feelings fully but i would rather give more importance to my relationship then few bucks. And if you can not trust your husband who you can trust.
@elmolovesu (814)
• Philippines
18 Mar 09
I guess some people have to learn things the hard way...I've had my share of being too trusting (with friends) and now I know that money can break relationships.
Thank you for sharing this and for always giving advice. They are very useful indeed.
Have a happy day, DancingRedFeather.
@DancingRedFeather1 (1037)
• Canada
18 Mar 09
Thank you..I appreciate that my advice helps. Oh I have lost some few dollars with people but I never ever got angry, actually, I would pray to God and say I give it to them and God would give it to me back. Besides who is worse off? The one who owes you or you? The person is because that person has to live with it and ends up paying the piper..trust me ..one way or another you pay for what you do.
I never have not paid anyone back in my life and if I was going to be late..because my money didn't come as I expected it.
I helped out a friend the other day. I gave her 30$ and food because she hadn't received her money yet. She was so happy and said that she would pay me back the money. I said no..you are in need and I don't want you worrying about it. God will give it back to me double.
And He did..two days later a friend called wanting to by my Native Healing Tonic I make..saying she needed 4 bottles..so I made 60$..double of what I gave.!
I would probably not be friends with a person who would deliberately scam me but I would blame myself for not checking it out properly..and you know most the time the person who offers you a money opportunity doesn't always want to scam you.
It's like investing..you take a chance..my son lost 1600000 because of the recession. Is he blaming anyone? Nope..just himself because he didn't listen to my adivce. I told him yesterday, if you had listened to me..you would not only have your money..but probably much more.
Well, that is life.
@gvannorman (438)
• United States
19 Mar 09
I agree with most of what your saying. I do think that one spouse should discuss any big purchases with the other. I just dont believe that the money that you earn is yours. I think that all bills should get paid and some saved. Then what ever is left can be split 50/50.
I believe that when you get married your become one. So its no longer his/hers or mine its ours. So, with this mindset it is not possible for your spouse to take your earnings. Even if you did earn them. It should all be put into an account and then split after everything else is taken care of.
Happy myLotting!!!!
@DancingRedFeather1 (1037)
• Canada
19 Mar 09
True..up to all the bills should be paid..50/50 what is left..but if I make more money besides..I like to keep it for me..and I don't mind that my man does the same..