i'm really mad at the husband...grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!
@DancingRedFeather1 (1037)
Canada
March 18, 2009 6:40am CST



5 people like this
14 responses
@dmrone (746)
• United States
18 Mar 09
Well i trust my husband and he trusts me. Neither one of us has to worry about the other taking money, nor do we have to worry about what the other is doing. We work together completely. I do not see it as his or mine, it is ours. There are people i would not trust, but my husband is not one of them.

@snowcat46 (2322)
• United States
20 Mar 09
That's kind of funny. I don't trust anyone,ever. When I married my hubby, (I gave in after much argument. I loved the big palooka.), I refused to have our accounts together. He was fine with it. Even encouraged it. Later on, we combined it to buy a house. After it was paid off, he insisted I get another account just for me. Not because he didn't trust himself, but because he knew I felt more comfortable having money he couldn't touch.
Even if someone can be trusted, it is better to have another account. There will always be a 'just in case.' What if someone tries to sue him, and wins? They can take everything he owns. But they can't take what's in your account, cause he doesn't own it. There is a good reason to think ahead.
@DancingRedFeather1 (1037)
• Canada
18 Mar 09


@maidangela7349 (1191)
•
19 Mar 09
We have been married 52 years and while we have at times to be careful with money we have never had a problem with deciding how we should spend it. We have a joint account and we each have personal accounts plus various savings accounts. If we have a big expenditure we look at all the accounts and decide which one we had best take the money from irrespective of whos name is on the account
1 person likes this
@DancingRedFeather1 (1037)
• Canada
18 Mar 09


2 people like this
@DCMerkle (1281)
• United States
19 Mar 09
DancingRedFeather1,
The only thing that I can think that would have prevented the women not to open her own account was that she didn't have her own bank account. You're right though. I would never share any money that I have made on my own with my hubby. When we were together, all my writing gigs were my baby, like his playing out gigs were his. He was a member of a band. The only money that we shared is what we needed for household expenses that came from our 9-5 jobs.
DCMerkle
@DancingRedFeather1 (1037)
• Canada
19 Mar 09

@bamakelly (5191)
• United States
18 Mar 09
That just isn't right no matter how you look at it. I do partially agree with what you are saying here though. In a marriage there has got to be some compromise and sacrifice and of course sharing. I don't believe in things just being one sided and if there is going to be a "what's yours is yours and what's mine is mine", I don't see the sense in tying the knot. There are just things that have to be understood in a marriage.
I know that I would give my husband something if he needed it and vice versa.
The table turns at the idea of a spouse actually just blatantly taking the money off of the other. That isn't fair. It is like stealing.
That man should not have done that. I can see your anger.
In a sense I can understand about protecting your belongings and money in a marriage but then again in some cases money should be shared and nothing kept in secret or stolen.
1 person likes this
@billyzeng (32)
• China
19 Mar 09
Oh no,I am so terrible to read your post.
TRUST NOBODY? only because of money,and become your enmemy,so bad for it.
Mylot and PP are good on the internet,many many people take part in,don't worry about it,we are here.
@DancingRedFeather1 (1037)
• Canada
19 Mar 09
I don't trust anyone when it comes to money..to a certain point. Money is the root of all evil. Look at the world..wars all the time..for what principally..GREED=MONEY.
I have earned my reputation that with MJ..you can count on her! If a pure stranger trusted me with money..I would think they are idiots because they don't know me.
Would I trust my husband? Sure if he earned my trust from the time I went out with him. Why should I trust someone I like immediately. Trust has to be earned. I don't trust blindly because I'm in love or your my friend..because friendship also has to be earned.
On here we can be friends easily..but in person who could we consider trustworthy?
Only fools trust people without finding out anything about them. I wouldn't lend you money if I knew you only a month. What have you don't to prove to me you earned my friendship enough to borrow money from me?
People forget that friendship also has to be earned.
How many husbands or women cheat their husbands, hide money from them because they are selfish. I know one person who is so scrouge that if she gives 20$ he has to bring back receipts ..I gave her a good tongue lashing the other day..and told her that it was absolutely ridiculous to do that.
So yesterday..she happened to have forgotten her wallet at home and asked to borrow 20$..I said sure..but make sure you bring me back receipts for what you spend it with..I want to make sure you spent it for something worthy! 
She looked at me! Then she started laughing and said..*M.J. you are so right! How ridiculous I have been with my husband.*
I smiled and said..* I know..am always right*!!!



@lingli_78 (12822)
• Australia
19 Mar 09
you are so right... i never trust anybody too when it comes to money... even with my own hubby... he has his own account and i have my own account too... my hubby is also a spender and i am a saver... so i make sure that i hide some money without him knowing for emergency and when we are broke, at least we still have some money... take care and have a nice day...
@xtedaxcvg (3189)
• Philippines
25 Mar 09
My wife always takes care of our finances. Every payday I give all my salary to my wife for her to budget and save. I trust my wife with money matters. I believe she's the best person to manage our finances. My wife doesn't go online that much so the money I earn here in mylot is something extra and I make it a point to always save it on my personal account.
@goldeneagle (6743)
• United States
18 Dec 09
I have my own account and my wife has her own account as well. We are both on each other account, but I do not use her account, and she does not use mine. We do transfer money between the accounts when needed, but we keep our incomes separate. For a while, we only had one account, and our incomes went into the same account. It did work pretty well, except for one fact. She had the debit card and the checkbook, and managed the account, which is how I preferred it, because I didn't have to worry about it, but I would forget to get money for gas or lunch or whatever else I needed it for. So, I would be out somewhere, then I would realize that I needed gas and didn't have any money to pay for it. This is the main reason I decided to get a separate account of my own...
@maidangela7349 (1191)
•
15 Apr 09
I don't quite understand why you are teed off about this. If she did not want her husband to do this all she has to do is open her own account and have her money payed into that. My wife and I have a joint account and personal accounts.
@TnWoman (1895)
• United States
18 Mar 09
hello dancingredfeather
i hear ya about not being able to trust anybody these days. it is ashame that i cannot even trust my own husband, if you want to call him that. but i took care of the problem thou, yesterday afternoon, when that i found out that he wasn't going to give my Mylot money to me, i went into my Mylot account and had my account information switched to my brother's account. yeah, he gets drunk and makes fun of me while that i am Mylotting, and then turns around and keeps my money. well it won't happen again. he'll feel funny waiting on the Mylot funds to roll in again next month to his paypal account only to find out that their be no more. lol hate it for him. he tried to argue with me yesterday afternoon, saying that he thought that he had given the money to me already. whatever. he knows damn good and well that he didn't. right now, he is only hurting himself. plus on top of us arguing yesterday like that, i was told to get out of the house. he just cannot throw me and the boys out. i do not believe that it works like that. we'll see what that a judge has to say about it. sorry to have cried on your shoulder last night, i needed a friend and it was too late at night here for me to have called any of my friends around here. (hugs) thanks so much for starting the Mylot discussion, if i would have started it, it would have gotten deleted for sure.
take care and have a beautiful day today!
@DancingRedFeather1 (1037)
• Canada
19 Mar 09


1 person likes this
@agrim94 (3805)
• India
1 Apr 09
Money is cause for many breakups and money is very important in life. Out here in India we have little different then you have there. Hardly any marriage end up in divorce. There are about 20 to 25,000 cases of divorce in delhi courts , it might look a lot but Delhi city has a population of over 16 ( sixteen) million. And out here it is common money and no big expense in house is done without talking to not only husband and wife but also his dad and mom too as if the couple is running short of money then the parents do help. But i am male so may be i cant understand your feelings fully but i would rather give more importance to my relationship then few bucks. And if you can not trust your husband who you can trust.
@elmolovesu (814)
• Philippines
18 Mar 09
I guess some people have to learn things the hard way...I've had my share of being too trusting (with friends) and now I know that money can break relationships.
Thank you for sharing this and for always giving advice. They are very useful indeed.
Have a happy day, DancingRedFeather.
@DancingRedFeather1 (1037)
• Canada
18 Mar 09

@gvannorman (438)
• United States
19 Mar 09
I agree with most of what your saying. I do think that one spouse should discuss any big purchases with the other. I just dont believe that the money that you earn is yours. I think that all bills should get paid and some saved. Then what ever is left can be split 50/50.
I believe that when you get married your become one. So its no longer his/hers or mine its ours. So, with this mindset it is not possible for your spouse to take your earnings. Even if you did earn them. It should all be put into an account and then split after everything else is taken care of.
Happy myLotting!!!!
@DancingRedFeather1 (1037)
• Canada
19 Mar 09

