is it normal to feel this way?what should i do?
By mark_mahlon
@mark_mahlon (118)
Philippines
March 18, 2009 8:41am CST
after almost three years of being together, i found myself suffocated and lost, i dunno. i hardly give in to the wants of my partner and i often hear from her lately that i am being neglectful.
because of my two kids and my work that requires full time, we seldom go out like we used to. and saturaday is normally devoted to my biking.
i have seen her glued to the computer all the time lately and has heard lesser complaints regarding on what she thinks are debatable issues.
we are growing apart and i don't want to wake up one day that i have already lost her.
i need help...advise..what should i do to rekindle the flame? im missing my wife terribly but i am finding it hard to make the first move.she always initiates the move in any disputes eventhough it was my fault.
thanks.
3 people like this
12 responses
@marmis (70)
• United States
18 Mar 09
If you are worried about losing your wife, it is time to step up and take whatever steps are nevessary in order to rekindle the marriage. Would it be so terrible by planning a Saturday with her rather than your biking? Maybe plan a movie date, take a walk, plan a picnic, etc. Set up a time when the kids are not around to sit and talk about things. Find out where each of you are at in this relationship. Sometimes things are at the end and not able to be saved, but chances are you can talk this out. If all else fails, atleast you can say you tried.
@mark_mahlon (118)
• Philippines
18 Mar 09
right now, we are not talking, we just had a small dispute this afternoon. i was always busy and my problem is my big ego for sure.
i can feel that things are getting hard on her, i hardly checks on her the way i used to and i easily get annoyed when she asks cheesy questions about romance and about us.
then, before she would always beg to tell her the boy's talk i had with friends but i would just casually say that..only the usual talks and nothing more.but for several weeks now, she no longer asks what happened.
i miss her...i hate the sadness in her eyes.
i can see her now sleeping.she's near but we are apart.
thanks for your response, i'll try to initiate the first move.
@marc1874 (83)
•
19 Mar 09
i would tend to agree with a few peoples views here, i think that you should take out say 2 saturdays per month at least in order to focus on what you don't want to lose. seems like it's getting to the stage you know that you are pushing each other away from each other but you just don't know how to sort it as your not used to be the one who sorts these things in the relationship. good luck with it all, you will do the right thing in the end.
@mark_mahlon (118)
• Philippines
19 Mar 09
looking back, i always sleep after biking or sometimes i spend my weekends with my car or kids.it has already been a year since i date her out.....thanks for your response.
@borgborg (821)
• Philippines
19 Mar 09
I suggest you take some time off with her. Just you and her for a couple of days. It would be like having a second honeymoon. Remove all the hassles and problems in your relationship by just taking things smoothly. Plan a vacation for the two of you in that way you both will realize how much fun you've been missing.
@LionHeart319 (164)
• Philippines
18 Mar 09
I can relate with that. I experienced that too. But what i did is to remember the things that we used to do together and the things that make her smile. If you really missed her but you noticed that both of you are getting used to do things separately, it's not a good sign. You need to do something my friend. I suggest you check my profile and try to view my website. I have published a n article titled "5 ways to make my wife happy" and i guess you need to read that to get some ideas that would work for you. Also, if you are fond of reading books, try to check the book "Love and Respect", it would really help.
Good Luck and God Bless!
@mark_mahlon (118)
• Philippines
18 Mar 09
i have already read ur article.it is nice.
i always cook for her on weekends, it is greatly because i am a better cook than her.hehe
you are right, i have to think back of the ways that makes her laugh...the lil joys that brightens her moods.
and im thinkng right now the possibility of writing a letter to her. i had never send her any letter or emails. she always asked me before on why i have never written anything for her and i could sense the jealousy that she has inside...she had previously read my emails to my ex gf and to the ones that i have courted.but i never send her anything...eventhough i know that writing and reading is her passion.and it wil be a delight on her.
i am thankful that i have her, she makes things easy for me.
but now, maybe she has grown tired of giving and loving more.......i need to do something to get her back.thanks!
@kiaza28 (25)
• United States
19 Mar 09
woman should get pampered,wether its cheesy or not...
whhy dont you skip one biking routine and try to ask her to spend time or eat lunch close to the beach or park.you can maybe ask one of your family or a good friend to watch the kids so in that way you guys can definitely talk and romance each other even in a simple date.just try at least to give her more attention no matter how busy you are...goodluck and i hope you guys can work it out!!!:)
@purnima175 (435)
• India
10 Oct 09
I can relate with that. I experienced that too. But what i did is to remember the things that we used to do together and the things that make her smile. If you really missed her but you noticed that both of you are getting used to do things separately, it's not a good sign. You need to do something my friend. I suggest you check my profile and try to view my website. I have published a narticle titled "5 ways to make my wife happy" and i guess you need to read that to get some ideas that would work for you.
@bing28 (3795)
• Philippines
19 Mar 09
we women understand your big egos, however, we're very much flatterred if sometimes we feel more important than your ego. Just think you're still in the period of adjustment and everything still can be settled. What's important you know what causes this to happen. You don't want to lose her so change your attitude towards her, let her feel the love and respect you have before. Respect in the sense of not taking her forgranted. She would eventually change her attitude towards you too, you know what to do and after few days of working it out, you'll just find yourselves in each other loving arms again.
@vijayanandp (682)
• India
19 Mar 09
take out time from your busy schedule and be with your wife as you said on Saturday you have devoted on biking cut the time and spend with your wife well once you are apart from your wife then what is the use so instead of biking on Saturday be with your wife and also try spending much time with her and avoid her time being on computer and be with you for long time so that the situation comes to normal and you will not miss her
@misslovelyfiles (250)
• United States
19 Mar 09
Tell her you miss her and love. You already know what's your problem on your part then work on fixing them. make time to talk to her, caress her, write love notes to her , bring her flowers and a note saying your thinking about her. You have to create time for her and check on her often the last thing you want to happen is you lost your wife and you just allowed your marriage to diff more and more apart till you lost her and your marriage. I know it's hard but you can't allow yourselves to just not speak to each other, and am sorry but if you want to rekindle the flame then you need to cute your biking time in half and devote the biking day completely for her.
