Disheartened, why are people mean

I am sorry to see that somethings hurt you here. it happens some people dont do it purposely and some do it purposefully. but even once i shouted at one person here, because he wrote something depicting to some people and even me, i was very angry and said something about him. but said sorry but he took my revenge after that by marking me negative

Some people are mean because someone else was mean to them. So in a way, misery spreads. The best way to handle it is to take meanness with a pinch of salt and lots of humor and hope to end the cycle of meanness. Another way to combat the cycle of meanness is to create a cycle of niceness. :)

Dear Anora - I wholeheartedly agree with you. I place the blame squarely on popular culture and what I call "The American Idol syndrome". Now to be fair I have never watched the show but I hear the office banter about it. I also hear clips on the radio as a synopis of the previous nights' show. There is a certain glee that people feel when they hear of another being belittled and that is very sad. I don't appreciate this behavior and if I have ever written anything to hurt you please forgive me.

Well just accept that unexpected here and every where else in the world that our world is already filled with hatred and violence and more conflicts of war. I myself can attest to that just yesterday when i posted some comment, and there was this person who was questioning my own point of view, and what i cannot understand is that, why is this person reacting so much, i am not picking on someone here, i am just stating my own personal point of view, and he is so into me, really. I just accepted that this is the real thing and there are people here that is like that, or the attitude is somewhat like that, and i will not do argue about something since i joined here in Mylot to have friends, enjoy posting and sharing my views and earn money. Happy Mylotting!

The thing is with the world, is that there's always been bad people out there. People who seem to gain pleasure out of putting down others and picking fights and causing problems. You just may have never really encountered them, because out int he real world it's easier to avoid them and surround ourselves with more people who posess better qualities. With the advent of the internet, it's given all people - the positive and the negative a much much wider stage and audience with which to spread their feelings and such. So it's just going to be a side effect of being online - you're dealing with a much bigger source of people, so you're going to meet a lot more of the bad type. Ultimately I think it all balances out.... we just don't notice it because we aren't used to dealing with people who truly seem negative, or bad.

I just started a similar discussion - mine was geared more toward manners, yet it falls within the same thought. I believe that as a people, we have grown hardened. People are constantly pushing and breaking through ethical and moral boundries, yet they don't ever stop to think if they should...and what consequences may follow. I think that comes also from our need to have instant gratification. No time is ever being given to what other outcomes there may be...it's sad really. I do however believe in what goes around comes around and that eventually people will have to account for how they have lived at some point in their lifetime...I think that you just have to do and behave and be the kind of person you feel is right and that lets you sleep well at night.

i have my encounter as well with very mean people. i've been bullied during my first two years of high school and somehow manage to stand up on my own during my junior year because i fight back a little. then, i was able to carry that rage with me throughout college and my new found friends somehow was able to see right through me - that it was all just a wall - trying to defend myself by not getting hurt - so i was able to do some of the things you've mentioned above my calling people nasty names. but because of that confrontation, i was healed in a way. because of great friends. somehow, they have this good influence with me that i take everyday and that was the "do unto others what you want others to do unto you". i've gone soft alright. lol. as for the online thing, i did read an article about this certain girl who have been bullied online. i don't know if you have heard about it. then this girl seeked help through someone who's good with computers and was able to trace it. turns out that the person who's at fault was two people who's a member cheerleading . their reason was, they only did it because they want to. when i first heard it, i feel like, why do these people earn their pleasure through another person's suffering. is that their way just to make them on top of everything? whenever i encounter such articles like this, i feel a little sorry for them. because as much as i don't want to judge them but it seems like that they're asking for it and i don't know what their journey in life is all about but it doesn't mean they have to be revengeful of it. and i like how LCH ut it - to prevent the cycle of meanness is to grow more on the cycle of niceness. =) let's just pray for them, anora.

There does seem to be a lot more cruelty not only on-line but off as well. I really do think that empathy and compassion ought to be taught in schools from kindergarten on upwards. There used to be much more emphasis on those things in the schools and at home. I don't think there is so much anymore. I read a book called "love" some time ago. It was written by a man who also taught college courses on "love". It was not just the romantic love but love in general. It would seem this course would be more beneficial if started at a much younger age.

Some people just can't think past their own pain and suffering or situation to open up and let another person in and some people are sick and tired of one person berating another and so they go up in arms in defense of a person. No one in this world is perfect we're all failable or else we wouldn't be human. We make mistakes but those of us that can learn and grow from them give hope to humanity. Yes there are some that don't but it takes all kinds to make up the world. You have to look at it like this you can only affect those around you and you do your best to live life and treat others how you would like to be treated and then we go out and hope for the best. Sometimes we see it sometimes we don't .. We have to take the good with the bad and learn to love people for who they are and not what we want them to become.

This has happen to me on line and in every day life! People do it because they care! Other people are mean because they REALLY LIKE DOING IT! I work at a small college and lots of students are non caring! I believe they are like this thanks to their parents, other people, the internet,and t.v.! We are becoming a very non caring generation sorry to say! As long as people thing this o.k. it will continue! It needs to change!

Well, in the states I think it started in the 1960s. All those so-called freedoms that some people wanted to have and all that rebellion just mushroomed into a lot of negativity. The "Me" generation was after all about self. Looking out for number one doesn't leave a lot of room to have concern and compassion for others. Family values, manners... the world isn't what it used to be.

I agree, people can be so mean and cruel. It would really be great if everyone could just be nice to each other. I don't understand why people like being mean..It bothers me a lot also. I really hate that other people do not have compassion for others. It hurts me to see so much anger, hate and violence towards people. The news is full of it. It really does a lot of good when the news shows good deeds because I think that people get inspired by what they see.

I think when people are online they can be whoever they want to be. Like they might be shy in person, but they are loud and obnoxious online because they can. If I see something that sounds unkind, I will just go on to another discussion I think.. so far I have not seen that.

It's quite sad, man's inhumanity towards man. A person can only be human if he exibits all the qualities of humanity. Unfortunatly one of those is cruelty (being mean). So being cruel is part of every human, some just display more then others.

People become more and more hardhearted as they become more and more selfish. I have the bad habit for yours of insulting people to myself, that is, calling them a name under my own breath. I watch this carefully in order not to annoy anyone and most of the time its not serious anyway. Its like a way to express myself more than anything else. Name calling is indeed a bad habit and when people are not well brought up this is one of the things they do.

Hm, I am thinking of a particular discussion that we both responded to yesterday, the customer in the wheelchair who was rude to the cashier. And while the person in me who wants to be right would have wanted to respond "I didn't give you a bag because yesterday you complained about wasting them" I would have had to be pretty darn ticked off to actually say something like that. I most likely would have put myself in her shoes to the extent that I probably would have said, "sorry next time I'll ask" and then I'd remember to. I do try to empathize with people to a point. But how much I do will also depend on the current state of my own sweet disposition as well as how far over the line I think the other person went. But definitely the world would be a much better place if people would make more of an effort to be understanding and polite and so on...

Online, it's so much easier for people to express themselves without naturally being accountable for their own opinions. Sometimes this helps - as in my case, I blog about a lot of things that I could express personally in dialogue but do better in writing (like how I blogged about how parents should be more considerate of hiding their vice from their children; and how I know that people I know might read it and I think that if they ended up resenting me for it, it's not because I was over sensitive but because they were REALLY wrong). Thanks for the response on my discussion!

I am really sorry Anora_ Eldorath, i recently had this experience and i posted one discussion on if my dog is in love and i got a rude reply and then when i posted other like urs about someone being rude and even in that discussion a man replied that he likes being rude and told me that he is deliberately rude..yes he was quite rude too and i told him if it gives him happiness to be rude then be my guest. Well all i can say is upbringing of a child has a lot to do with how child develops and if he is caring or rude or would call others name for no reasons or would turn out to be an abusive child so i think the person who wasnt at his best behaviour with a lady would have had a real bad upbringing.

I agree, there are some angry people that lash out at others I think because they are upset about other things. Arrogance is stupidity because no one is so smart they have the right to treat others like that-if they were as smart as they said they were they would not treat others like that. It makes them feel good, like they have power. All they have is their computer screen they hide behind because they don't have the guts to engage in an intelligent discussion.

I think people are mean because they are not happy with their own lives & want everyone to be as miserable as they are in life. Mean people tend to be negative people also. They think it makes them look big but it makes them look small & ignorant. Also I wonder how was these people raised????