which is better love or arranged marriage
By jassics
@jassics (205)
India
March 20, 2009 5:04am CST
As i am an Indian and in INDIA still there is arranged marriage culture what we call is our parents and family members search a girl/boy with whom one has to marry.
And in INDIA still love marriage is not accepted widely.
But people who get in love always wish to marry with their love partner instead of tieing a knot to unknown person.
but love marriage usually don't get successful as i heard.
according to you people which is better love marriage or arranged marriage?
5 people like this
37 responses
@Galena (9110)
•
20 Mar 09
I think that the reason that arranged marriages are STATISTICALLY more likely to succeed is because those in a culture of arranged marriage look down on divorce much more. so no matter how unhappy someone is in the marriage, they are likely to stay because of the cultural stigma about getting away from an unhappy marriage.
so despite the statistics, I would still much rather have a marriage with someone I love and have chosen for myself.
after all, who is better to know what I need in my life partner than MYSELF.
I would only ever marry someone if I loved them, was happy with them, and in a stable, happy relationship with them.
which is exactly what I'm doing. we've been together and happy for nearly 10 years, so know that our marriage is founded on a good strong relationship.
2 people like this
@jassics (205)
• India
20 Mar 09
see Mrs. Galena if there is dedication, devotion and respect in love then there will be no problem in whole life. But you also know how people come to each other how they date and start loving each other without knowing people deeply.
after few dates they think they can't live without each other and marry then real problem starts , both of them have their own way of lifestyle and will try to live according to their own style. In love no one compromises with each other's style and most of the time they complaint to each other.
even you can see what they show in movies. in most of the movies there will be atleast one divorced case and just because of the fault in knowing them while falling in love.
Both kind of marriage have some merits and demerits but love marriage very rarely goes for more than 10 or 15 yrs.
you are lucky i must say that.
happy married life and happy mylotting!
@kimberlynnF (170)
• United States
20 Mar 09
What if the one your parents choose is not a good match for you? What if he or she is ugly to look at? Do you then find someone to love but not marry? How does it work when you have to sleep with someone you don't love?
@tinam13 (839)
• United States
8 Apr 09
i personally do not accept arranged marriage...i think it's unfair and wrong. people who love each other and WANT to marry each other should be the ones to marry. people who have no interest in one another should not get married.
@jassics (205)
• India
8 Apr 09
see tinam13 you also know after loving someone very few go for marriage .........observe marriage after love ratio to breakup after love .
you will get the idea
i mean to say that only how you started to love to a girl after interacting to her spending time to her ?????
in the same way if your parents decide to marry with any girl just try to spend time with her try to know her u will definitely love her because no one can think best about your life other than your parents.............give some importance to their feelings also na.........
one more thing now parents may say go for love marriage but on one condition she should live with you for you for your family forever..........
after love marriage i guess only gals rules no mutual understanding lies what she will tell u have to do else get divorce..........
@sevakuduuuuu (131)
• India
20 Mar 09
hi jassics,
My opinon on marriage is arranged marriage is better than love marriage coz we have the guideness of our parents, and if any disputes between our partner occurs then there will be the guidenes of our parents and they will come to deal those problems where as if we see in love marriages, those marriages will happen with having the presences of our parents such type of marriages will having problems when they get disputes among them and there will be no parents to gudie us...
So my opinon is that arranged marriages are good rather than LOVE marriages...
Regards
RK
@kimberlynnF (170)
• United States
20 Mar 09
Have you ever seen Fiddler on the Roof? The girl's father had arranged for an old man to marry his daughter, and the daughter is most unhappy about this because she is in love with a young boy her own age. I guess if you are from a culture that arranged marriages are the norm, you adjust to sleeping with a stranger.. but being that I am not from that culture I could not possibly even think of living that way. Who knows? He might be old, or mean or whatever.. I'll take my chances with love marriage.
@jassics (205)
• India
20 Mar 09
ok what you are saying may be right. but in most of the cases parents never wish to spoil her daughter's life. Girl's father takes so much time to choose the best option for the girl. there will be same standard boys and gals will be of same culture and many more things they see then only they give their gal's hand to the groom.
what if you start loving an old man like jogger's park? what if you start loving a low profile person just because he is cute and innocent, or what if someone tries to be very nice with you but after marriage he may show you his real character then how can you say that love marriage is going to be big hit?
betrayal is more love then in arranged.
@waytoneeraj (58)
• India
28 Mar 09
in india now also it is thought and considered dat love marriage is not gud,may be it is right to an accepteble extent but i have my opinion dat if there exist a real and great love den getting married with d loved one is not at all bad.but in most of d cases love is not der but affection is der n people take it as love so dis type of love and hence this type of love marriages are not good.in dis case arranged marriage is better.....
@AltheGreat2430 (2716)
• Philippines
25 Mar 09
Hey there! In terms of material and security aspect, if the boy or girl is wealthy, arranged marriage would be okay. We don't know. Maybe it could flourish to real love and they can learn to love each other. For me, I would never marry a woman if I don't love her. Love is still better than arrange marriage. With love you have joy and genuine happiness. Success in life can be atain by anyone. We just need perseverance and faith. Material things can give us temporary happiness. With love it can be an everlasting happiness. Have a nice day. Happy posting!!
@mysticmaggie (2498)
• United States
21 Mar 09
If you love and respect your family and culture, then go with it. If you do not, then move to a different culture and adopt their ways. Love is better if you need your soulmate to make you happy. But, from what I understand, in cultures where marriages are arranged they are considering the material betterment of both families.
You and only you can decide what you should do and how to do it.
@HelloMickey (1655)
• Hong Kong
22 Mar 09
We can choose our spouse freely now. I think love is better.
In my point of veiw, using chinese 8 characters of one's birth to arrange marriage was also good in the past, as people can choose their spouses by some measures and can stay together forever. As people can find someone match themselves perfectly using this measure. I know this is totally different from your mentioned arranged marriage in India. I am only telling you some kind of arranged marriage can be good as well. Have a nice day!
@chirayilelza (15)
• India
22 Mar 09
in my opinion there is no meaning both arranged or love marriage.
both are in the same boat. But im telling u that we want a clear love one. so plz search for that and enjoy ur life
@cassandradab (400)
• South Korea
22 Mar 09
i preffer to choose love mariage than arrange marriage,if you love the one you want to marry this is the most happiest moment in your life since marriage is sacred,you will give your body and soul to the person you want to spend your life. arrange marriage i can't imagine if this will be work but if you will follow the culture yes sometimes it work more than love marriage but still i choose love than arrange.
@abhi_abhi (61)
• India
21 Mar 09
As far as i am concerned,
i prefer love cu_m arranged marriage..
this will fulfill all the needs of both the situation..
First love a girl, if she is good make her accepted by your parents and make yourself accepted by his parents..
After that make it as an arranged marriage..
@least i am gonna do that..
@elainepham (80)
• Australia
23 Mar 09
everything have both sides: good and bad. Nowadays, new generation have more choice and freedome. They can make decision theirselves. However, they love and get marriage, they also can make wrong decision. It does not means that every love are wrong. We can not confirm which one is better, because of life. Life change to time. Arranged marraige are good idea because the balance of economy, money, same class, new spouse can avoid many risk from discrimination of both family. However, it also become terrible life for new spouse if they can not find the love from arranged marriage.
@shashiverma555 (4)
• India
21 Mar 09
yes its true love marriage never succeed if we exclude some exceptions.. love is called unconditional but after marriage condition are added to maintain love.. and then every thin is left except love.. In arrange marriage there can be love after the marriage and that would be unconditional with the blessings of parents.. so go for arrange marriage
@parvezjs (422)
• India
21 Mar 09
According to me love marriages are better than arranged as in love marriage its our own choice and in arrange its someone Else's choice. We don't know our partner well in arrange marriage so it becomes very difficult to start a new life with such a person whom we do not know and have to live with. It takes a long time for us to understand him/her and many times many problems and misunderstandings get created which leads to big fights and regression of marrying that person. In love marriage we fall in love by knowing that person. We know each other well and we think that we can be the best partner and have a happy life. Many times in love marriages too there arises many problems but its better to have love marriages.
@PRIYANK1992 (1677)
• India
21 Mar 09
Obeviously Love marriage would be more better than Arrange Marriage.
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
21 Mar 09
it's a hard job even if u love somone dearly. there is no way i'd go int an arranged marriage. i don't think that's fair to the people.
@trillan_20 (183)
• Canada
21 Mar 09
My take on this one is that nobody will ever tell me who im going to love, period! The thought of it sends chills down my spine, honestly. I cant imagine how scary that would be for me to have to marry someone that, not only am I not in love with, but in a lot of cases, someone whom I dont even know. I cannot wrap my head around it. To know that you have to spend the rest of your life sleeping in the same bed as a strange man is scary, you wouldnt make love because you wanted to, you do it out of obligation. That to me just isn't right. A lot of these arranged marriages last as long as they do because divorce is frowned upon in these countries, its not as acceptable as it is here in canada or even in the states. But I guess when you are born into these things it just comes natural to you. And if you are an arranged marriage supporter, then all the power to you. No disrespect.
@arkadeb313 (593)
• India
21 Mar 09
hi jassics, i am from india too and my marriage has been arranged. i think the most important point for survival of marriage or any relationship, for that matter, is mutual trust and respect. in its absence, nothing can survive. the method is not that much important.
good luc
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