Comparing ourselves with others.

Pose- You always have the most interesting discussions! It's hard for women, especially to find their authentic self. I think it's almost as difficult as it is for one be they male or female to find their true self. I think it's why so many mystery traditions focus on finding the True Self so that we can be fully separated from the material world. It's not that we don't exist. Obviously the old saying "Before enlightenment, chop wood and carry water. After Enlightenment, chop wood and carry water" comes to mind. It's that once we seperate ourselves from the desires of this world we're free to view it in a completely different light, a true light. I know that for me, I have to really watch just what comparisons I'm making. I went through a horrid time period of anorexia in my early 20's, though you'd not know it now, that put me in a competition with those I saw that I thought had perfect bodies. An eating disorder never leaves you but you can change the perceptions. I still have issues with perception but I don't stop eating now. But to illustrate, when I look at myself now in the mirror I see a woman who is not the woman I see in pictures. My rational brain knows what I should see, but the otherside won't allow it. I've been using meditation and lucid dreams to connect with my authentic self and I've seen her several times. Though I'd agree with the author of a book my husband read "Hardcore Zen" that all of it is illusion, I can say that it's helped me to try to stop the comparisons that go on inside my head regarding how I view my body. Thank you for bringing this topic up as I sometimes need to be reminded not to compare myself with others. Namaste-Anora

I do agree. But what the head knows the heart can forget. Easily if there is a past that taught ourselves to compare or see ourselves as lower. It is so easy for that seed to be planted but so hard for the weed to be pulled.

I believe you're right. It's really not good to compare yourself with others because we are all born unique. Each of us have our own unique abilites and traits that comparing them with others is simply folly.

Not only that, comparing ourselves to someone else causes envy, jealousy, and strife. If we are indeed wanting to do the will of God, we do not have time for those things. Also, I have learned to think of it like this, I do not know what that person had to go through to get where they are and I do not know what they will go through before they leave this earth. I just thank God for making me a special person with unique gifts to accomplish his will for my life. Great topic.

Hi Pose dear! I have always been confident about myself. My mother had seen to that. She always made me and my brothers feel special and she thought us to love and respect ourselves and others. I grew up knowing that there is something special and uniqueness in each and everyone of us. I do not compare myself to anyone and I guess it is because my parents never compared us with each other or with our cousins of their friends' children. I am comfortable with who I am and I am proud of what I have become. However, it really annoy me very much when this certain person keeps on comparing me with the wife of my husband's brother. It really is irritating since she makes comparison all the time and sometimes within our hearing distance. I think it is very rude to do so. Take care and blessings to you. lovelots..faith

I absolutely agree with you pose. I do believe that we are all made in the image and likeness of our God, and that no one is exactly the same; even twins have differences. Thus,acknowledging our uniqueness make us free to discover the beauty and strength that are inside us. It also helps us love ourselves more and inspires us to do more things that would make us feel good about ourselves. We just have to remember that if we love ourselves, it is easier for us to love other people...that's written on the second commandment....

I agree! And I make it a practice not to compete with others either.. but to compete with myself! Towards learning more.. getting better at something, etc..

I'm the only ME there is, and that's all that count. If i were to compare myself to others, I would not be appreciating that which makes me, me. Sure I can be inspired by others to improve, or i can learn from other's examples good or bad, but people should not spend their lives comparing themselves or othe people.

Yes, we live in a World where everyone tries to imitate everybody instead of searching for their own unique talents. Let's be happy with who we are as individuals by counting our blessings since we all possess a very special talent. We can achieve great things when we all bring great and unique contributions to Society.

Each of us may be unique and different from each other but we cannot stop from comparing ourselves to others. I don't find anything wrong when I compare myself to others because the positive of it is that it motivates me to do more.

Hi, Pose123! I say Amen to that! I loved your discussion! It is very true! I wished that I could tell this to many people that I know. I have been compared to a few people in my life. And I don't like it! I am unique and so are they. We are not the same. That is why I wished that people would not compare me to others. Yes, we are all here for different reasons. We all will not experience the same thing. That does not make us any less or better than someone else! Sometimes, I find myself comparing myself to others, and my husband tells me to stop doing this. What God has for me is for me. The other person has to go through what God wants them to. We all are special, we just need to remember that. God made us all unique and not alike. People need to hear this discussion! It can change how they view themselves! Thank you for posting this. God Bless you, Pose123!

Hello, pose123, yeah, agree. We are inclined to compare with others, because they're just around us. But we forget that we have different families, different edcucation, economic foundations, experiences etc. Just like no two leaves are the same, no two persons can be the same. So the comparison based on the originally unequal situation is not objective. We can compare with oursevles, with the past and then try to make progress step by step. In this sense we won't be jealous of others' success and groan about it but not work on our own business. And only in this case can we truly grow up.

I like your statements, very philosophical. I would usually compare with myself, to see what I can do to make myself and other members of the family live an happy and easier life. I have changed a great deal from a quick paced person to a leisure one. To slow down a bit allows us to appreciate things around. Having lived in a relatively tough life, it makes me even more content with the current life we are having. The current crisis experienced in many places of the world might be a treasure for people in developing their qualifications in due time.

As far as I am concerned, I wont compare myself with others. I always feel I am different from others and I have my own qualities. i am unique and no one can match me in my own terms. So always feel positive about yourself.

I definitely agree. Life would be a lot less challenging and would turn dull and boring if there are people exactly like ourselves. I might as well think that like is not worth living if other people can fill in our own reasons for living. At some point in my life I had been busy focusing in fitting into the crowd not realizing that I'm losing my own identity. It was indeed hard to accept my own flaws back then that I found it hard to socialize and make friends. I was comparing myself with people that I was anxious about my difference. Until I've learned to accept myself that I started to be comfortable in making friends and being comfortable in showing my true self to them.

I agree, but I also see that it seems to be human nature to compare yourself to others. I think that most people may agree with you but in reality cannot help but compare themselves and their situations to others. Blessings

i hate it, i mean i dont like being compared to anybody else, or even to my sisters. because i myself do not compare anybody to somebody. its not my cup of tea. each and everyone of us has our own uniqueness. even to brothers and sisters, still they have differences, thats why we cannot compare an individual to another.

few people can be self-satisfied.most of people are persuing their own dream.except for someone who has no dream or too yong or too old.i think comparing with other is very normal, it can make us work hard and improve our capacity,but we shouldn't dentify our happy on comparison.