it's a killer isn't it?

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Raising your children to be independant then letting them go. A friend spoke to me last night about her suffering, now that her son has gone to a University off the Island and she is missing him so much. The family of my neighbour who died, had a dinner and invited all her friends and neighbours to come and share with them their memories of Nuchette. So Suzie cornered me at there. Her distress brought back so many memories when my son left home and went to live in the U.K. some years ago. Although I had 3 other fine children at home, I did not cope very well. There were fewer sneakers to fall over and one less voice crying, "Mom, where's my ....? from a bedroom. It made me feel that my family had been cut by a quarter and family life had been the cornerstone of my happiness for so many years. I missed him laughing with his brothers or teasing his sister. It only took the simplest things - a wadded T shirt found under my car seat - to make me want to blubber helplessly. I hadn't expected it to hurt so much. I remember that friends kept telling me that once they leave they never really come back. I didn't want to hear that. I wanted to hear that they came back a lot only this time to hang up their clothes, admire you for your wit, intelligence and charm! But my frienmds were right and there was an emptiness in the house that proved it. The hardest part was realising not just that my son wasn't there but that the boy he was had gone forever. I would have given anything to have them back. But that cannot happen and life goes on. children grow up and move away, and if you don't know this already, believe me it happens faster than you can imagine. I was so caught up in my own memories that I was not any help to Suzie. I will call her tonight and talk. Has this happened to you? Did you give a sigh of relief (as one of my friends did) when your child left home or is there still an emptiness that only ends when he/she walk through the door?