rejection
By Theresaaiza
@Theresaaiza (10487)
Australia
March 31, 2009 2:47am CST
You stand at the entrance of the mall, or a school, or any establishment. You see people coming out of the building and you hurriedly handed someone a flyer promoting your company, or a product. A lady just passed by you without taking the flyer. Another man just pushed your hand away. A teenager just eyed you head to foot.
You finally had the guts to spill your feelings to someone and how you have fallen in love with her. After months of practice you finally popped the question: "Will you be my girlfriend?" Her facial expression changed from curious to dull, and she answers, "No, I'm sorry. I am in love with somebody else."
You are standing in the doorway of your biological parent's house. You knock. A lady with a disheveled hair, dark circles under her eyes, pale and haggard face, sunken cheeks, and alcohol breath opens the door for you. Teary eyed and with a quivering voice, you introduce yourself. She notices the familiarity of your face. But then, she shuts the door close in front of you.
That's rejection! But sometimes, we are not the victims. Embarrassing as it may be, we too are guilty of rejecting someone. Let's turn the table guys. It's not always US who are the lowly and poor stars of the show. Sometimes, WE are the villains!
Have you ever rejected someone so badly? What was your reason for doing so?
3 people like this
10 responses
@James72 (26790)
• Australia
31 Mar 09
Such is life! Very poignantly stated here Theresa. 
Yes, we all face rejection throughout our lives and it's these rejections that will hopefully make us more determined in this world. Without the lows, we can never truly appreciate the highs! I can't recall rejecting anyone badly but I've certainly turned the other cheek on many an occasion, just in smaller ways like the flyer example you gave, or ignoring a plea for money etc. My most offending times were more than likely during my High School days when I was all caught up in my own anger and defiance. During this period of my life, I pretty much rejected everybody!
Yes, we all face rejection throughout our lives and it's these rejections that will hopefully make us more determined in this world. Without the lows, we can never truly appreciate the highs! I can't recall rejecting anyone badly but I've certainly turned the other cheek on many an occasion, just in smaller ways like the flyer example you gave, or ignoring a plea for money etc. My most offending times were more than likely during my High School days when I was all caught up in my own anger and defiance. During this period of my life, I pretty much rejected everybody!
@James72 (26790)
• Australia
1 Apr 09
Oh my goodness Theresa, you have NO idea! 
The person I am now compared to "before" is like night and day. I was an extremely angry teenager especially and it was only in my late 20's/early 30's that I truly managed to overcome that negative side of myself. The reasons for being this way in the first place I won't go into, but they were certainly many and varied. Learning to forgive and practicing a little bit of selfishness ended up doing wonders for me in the end. It's a wonderful feeling to wake up one morning and realize that not only have you managed to find the source of past issues and conquer them, but you can be YOU and it's OK. 
The person I am now compared to "before" is like night and day. I was an extremely angry teenager especially and it was only in my late 20's/early 30's that I truly managed to overcome that negative side of myself. The reasons for being this way in the first place I won't go into, but they were certainly many and varied. Learning to forgive and practicing a little bit of selfishness ended up doing wonders for me in the end. It's a wonderful feeling to wake up one morning and realize that not only have you managed to find the source of past issues and conquer them, but you can be YOU and it's OK. @James72 (26790)
• Australia
1 Apr 09
And to offer an explanation related to your own pyschological assumptions, yes, it WAS a projection of sorts and was mainly a defense mechanism. The greater the distance I created between myself and others and the more I could make them wary of me, the less chance they had of really knowing me, my insecurities and my flaws in general.
@Theresaaiza (10487)
• Australia
1 Apr 09
Believe me, James. It's an awful feeling whenever somebody ignores me during flyering days. Many times I wish I could shove the entire bundle of flyers into somebody's mouth!
That should get them to notice!
But your "caught up in my own anger and defiance" certainly surprised me. Never thought you've been that way. Could it have been some sort of projection? Meaning, you felt rejected inside so you rejected everybody else? I'm poor in psyche stuffs so I really don't know.
I'd rather shut up now. 
That should get them to notice!
But your "caught up in my own anger and defiance" certainly surprised me. Never thought you've been that way. Could it have been some sort of projection? Meaning, you felt rejected inside so you rejected everybody else? I'm poor in psyche stuffs so I really don't know.
I'd rather shut up now. 1 person likes this
@aisaellis22 (6445)
• United States
31 Mar 09
Hello aiza! I was guilty of doing one there..hehehe..I honestly rejected someone (hope it's the right term) it's because I am committed to my husband (he is still my boyfriend that time) You understand why I did it, right?
There is one scenario there too that somehow related to me but I am not a villain there..I mean, you're right, at the entrance of malls here or even on the streets, there are many who gives flyers to us. I actually accept everything they give because I know it's their job. I am helping them. I just don't understand those people who are rejecting it as if they are begging money to them.
@Theresaaiza (10487)
• Australia
1 Apr 09
I did reject a few before (flyer-people). But now that I am in their shoes, I realized how terrible it is to be rejected.
@ratyz5 (7808)
• Philippines
4 Apr 09
Sad as it may seem, I have rejected others a couple of times with no concrete reason as to why. I think I was just indecisive on things and I really didn't want to complicate anything at all. I guess I just wanted to be friends and nothing more. I have also shared my fair share of being a victim and they too didn't want to have something complicating. I guess that's why when it was my turn to turn down others, I also have that same reason. I don't want to get things complicated.
Now-a-days, its something usual and investing effort and later on realizing that such efforts were futile isn't really a good idea anymore. Unless one would go wreckless and unselfish because of such emotions that takes them over and leaves reasoning behind.. some of those who strike while the iron is hot get lucky, some just don't get to have what they honestly want.
@Theresaaiza (10487)
• Australia
17 Apr 09
To summarize that ratyz, "LIFE is difficult"....at times.
...at times.1 person likes this
@Little_Stormy (6883)
• United States
17 Apr 09
Sadly, yes I have.. and it was the worst mistake of my life.
I would love to share the details with you, but they are very painful and personal.
I love this discussion.. we often to forget that we aren't always the victim.
@Theresaaiza (10487)
• Australia
21 Apr 09
Honestly my initial intention was just to rant about how I faced a lot of rejections lately but midway into it, I just realized that I too was guilty of the same thing.
And yes, as much as I'd love to hear the details, I won't force you into doing so. But just in case you change your mind, you can always PM me...
Happy day to you!
Happy day to you!
@bombshell (11256)
• Germany
31 Mar 09
drama uy!hehehehe yes i do! my "love your neighbor i rejected him.well the story like this,he was my boyfriend, my sisters brother inlaw but since he is too shy i given up because i dont like that!i am wild basta "gara on ba" hehehe.then time comes he wants me again and he cried when i rejected him and push it backward.then whe he still studying in Tagbilaran as a engineer i heared the news that he has a girl friend also studying the same like what he has,did not expect i get hurt and wants him again.so now he still single and work in Dubai
.
i rejected him.well the story like this,he was my boyfriend, my sisters brother inlaw but since he is too shy i given up because i dont like that!i am wild basta "gara on ba" hehehe.then time comes he wants me again and he cried when i rejected him and push it backward.then whe he still studying in Tagbilaran as a engineer i heared the news that he has a girl friend also studying the same like what he has,did not expect i get hurt and wants him again.so now he still single and work in Dubai.@Theresaaiza (10487)
• Australia
1 Apr 09
Yeah, "maalaala mo kaya" level, girl! Haha. You too, drama! Haha
You know what, sometimes we'll only miss the water until it's gone. Meaning, we can never tell whether the person means so much to us until they are gone.
But that was past, bomb. I know you're happy and rich so cheer up! Haha
@bombshell (11256)
• Germany
4 Apr 09
HAPPY?... yes but i am not rich.you know not only money who makes us happy right? "bahala ug saging basta loving" hahahaha
@vworld4u (143)
• India
1 Apr 09
Rejection is almost a part of our daily life nowadays. We reject mostly the telemarketing persons for many reasons. Of course, it is true that we can't purchase everything a telemarketing company wish to sell. I have rejected many people in my life on phone - sometimes even rudely.
But I feel sorry whenever I reject them rudely over phone. I know I can't see them, but I feel I should have behaved in a much better manner even if I am rejecting them. I feel guilty of hurting somebody else's feelings.
But today's world is so cruel in the sense, these companies hire people to get rejected by the world! I can't imagine what would happen to their moral attitude if they start taking the rejections to their heart!? May God bless them and wish they don't take it seriously and take it as part of the profession. We are not rejecting them, but their products and companies. Not them at all!
@Theresaaiza (10487)
• Australia
17 Apr 09
I now know how terrible it feels to be rejected, I'm bit nicer now when I decline those kind of people.
@tammytwo (4298)
• United States
31 Mar 09
I would have to say I, myself, in addition to many other parents, have been guilty of rejecting my very own children. Has there ever been a time when the child has come to you wanting to ask a question and you haven't had time? I try my best to ensure that I don't do that but I know we have all done it unintentionally. How heart breaking that must be for the little ones.
@Theresaaiza (10487)
• Australia
2 Apr 09
Aww...yeah, I feel so terrible. I do that many times to my younger brother. We were in so much distress before when my mom was dying. We barely paid any attetion to him. I couldn't exopect him to understand so before I do him any psychological damage, I better have to change my ways. Because until now, I do yell at him or keep ignoring him sometimes especially when very pre occupied with "adult" stuffs.
@modstar (9605)
• Philippines
1 Apr 09
Back in college, our identification card since first year will be the same identification care we will be using up to the fourth or last year. The same card the we will be surrendering before graduation. On my fourth year, my hair has gone long all the way down on my shoulders. One time i was late for class and didn't bother to dry and tie my hair. This guard at the entrance of our school blocked my path rejecting me from entering the school premises. I asked why and she said that i am using other person's i.d. which is a grave offense. I told her "that's me four years ago." It must have stunned her so i took my i.d. back then gave a smirked like other spoiled kids in our school. Lol!
@Theresaaiza (10487)
• Australia
1 Apr 09
Haha, she deserved this, "Ewww...guard you're such a Loser!"
@specific (154)
• South Korea
1 Apr 09
As for me, I prefer to try my best to do anything i can.But sometimes i do not want to be bothered by the endless incidents.In this situation ,i want to jeject what is beyond me.Actully,i seldom reject my friends and classmates.Every time i want to reject them,the words just cannot come out from my mouth.I want to live as what i want ,but the reality let me know that i am wrong.I think that sometimes it depends on your habits and personality.
@Theresaaiza (10487)
• Australia
2 Apr 09
Yes, I see what you mean. Sometimes, we just wanna be honest with our feelings, but conscience sets in which hinders you from doing it.
@brady2moss (700)
• Singapore
1 Apr 09
Hey there Theresaaiza. Yep I rejected someone before and it totally changed our lives forever. A friend's friend came to me one day asking for a HUGE favor. He wants to borrow money from me and promised he would pay up as soon as he can. The thing is he doesn't have a job, and is notoriously known as a con man in our neighborhood. Like I would trust someone like that, right? Anyways I totally absolutely did not lend this guy money. His actions after that event was completely insane. He started stealing anything of value within our neighborhood(he took my precious BMX ), and victimized a number of families. He was finally caught and served time in jail.
), and victimized a number of families. He was finally caught and served time in jail. @Theresaaiza (10487)
• Australia
2 Apr 09
It wasn't your fault, brady. He messed up his own life by doing that. We have the right to refuse especially when it comes to money matters.
