Do you wish Good to your ex-love who cheated you?
By vworld4u
@vworld4u (143)
India
April 1, 2009 1:07am CST
I got ditched by a girl almost three years and we broke away. She got married to a different person (richer than me) and she shifted to another country too. She is living happily now.
When she broke out from me, I was feeling very much anger for her. I was really mad at that time. I almost decided to commit suicide, but then my responsibilities for my family saved me. I started feeling hatred towards her for sometime. But then after few months, I started feeling a kind of forgiveness towards her. I started to forgive her. I even felt like it is my fate that she had to dump me and go out.
I started feeling a philosophy here - A Boy loves a girl and wants to keep that girl very happy in his life at any cost in his life. He will be ready to sacrifice his whole life for keeping that lady peaceful and happy. When such a girl decides she can't live with that boy happily and leaves him, why he decides to hate her? He should in fact wish her happy life with whoever she selects as her soul mate and leave her to her life! right? For him, her happiness is what needed, if he lovers her much.
This is what I started feeling and decided to forgive her fully and wished her great happier life ahead. I never met her since we separated, but always when I think of her, I wish her good life. By this I started feeling much lighter in my heart and I was able to go ahead with my life!
Does anybody have gone through same feelings anytime? What are your opinions? Share with me!
2 people like this
14 responses
@rsa101 (38166)
• Philippines
1 Apr 09
I admire your courage to forgive the person whom you love and betrayed your heart. I guess the feeling of hatred towards her is justifiable but you are right keeping that hatred in your heart will not bring you anywhere but suffering and that heavy baggage you have with you will always stay there as long as you want.
You've made the right decision for you to finally move on with your life and be happy for her. By doing this you are also forgiving yourself from the hatred that you've kept a long time ago. I really think you should keep this attitude and I guess you deserve to find a new love that you truly deserve.
@vworld4u (143)
• India
1 Apr 09
Thanks a lot for your response. I always will try my best to keep myself away from word hatred as your words put it "forgiving myself from the hatred". It is too tough to enjoy the life when we are in clutches of hatred!
I have suffered a lot, but I don't have any rights to make others suffer because of me! When I get another person in my life, I should do justice to my wife and thereby don't think (even hatred makes us to think too much about that person) too much about that person who went far far away from me. Right?
Thanks again and thanks for your support.
1 person likes this
@rsa101 (38166)
• Philippines
2 Apr 09
I am impressed by your conviction! You are doing the right thing for yourself as well as for your ex. She is part of your past and that's just it. There is nothing more to look at that as past is past and there is nothing that we should be trying to do more about it. Focus on your present and look forward for a birghter and happier life for you.
@Gladys22 (416)
• Philippines
5 Apr 09
my first bf cheated on me and also he denying me
it's hurt right ? cause i love him very much
but i decided to accept it.
and pray for him to make him happy
to her loveone.
after 1 year and 2 mounths my heart heal and i meet my second bf which in present
we got a lot of arguments but still together but this time i don't know if we can be together after he acqusing me cheated for him which is not truth
he told me some bad words and also he said he doesn't love me but he used only me to heal her broken heart before we meet. i don't know if it's true.
@vworld4u (143)
• India
6 Apr 09
I think you should have been more careful before selecting another boyfriend second time! But whatever happened, happened! You can't change your past, but certainly change you future for the best!
Try to understand this person thoroughly and decide whether he is trustworthy and you can live with him or not! If not, there is nothing wrong is getting out of his life and start a peaceful single life until you get your soulmate! Again, don't be in hurry to fill up your heart with some other person, wait for a right partner! Good luck!
@DuoMaxwell (953)
• United States
23 Oct 11
I kind-of have mixed feelings about this.
I used to have a girlfriend, but one that i've known in a neighboring state. Everything was going well, but I messed up on my part a few years later, and we broke up. I tried to get back with her through a third party online in another message board, but it's not worth it. She didn't want to get back together with me, and she already got another boyfriend.
At first I was very sad, but over the years, I came to realize the mistakes on my part and started to appreciate the joys of being alone and single. It was my fault that we fought and broke up online, but at the same time, if it didn't happen, I wouldn't be where I was at now. Maybe it was a mistake to fall in love in the first place.
BTW, although this isn't much I had to say, I had this already written out in 2009 and had this topic URL saved along with the response in the notepad, so this was 2 years ever since. Still, 2 years later although I felt that i'm missing out on something, at least i'm happy and free to enjoy life without all of the relationship drama others go through that make them miserable.
@weng_08 (282)
• Philippines
2 Apr 09
Yeah I once felt hatred towards someone. However, just like you, I also came to forgive. I just felt that it was necessary, and it came out naturally. I guess we should not let anger overpower us, for as they say it hurts the hater more than it hurts the hated. Why waste our time hating people? When we know for a fact they did not intend to hurt us.
We unintentionally hurt people too. And they forgive us. Life is just like that. we get hurt and we cause hurt, whether we like it or not. What matters is that we forgive, so we will also be deserving of forgiveness.
Have a great day!
Weng
@vworld4u (143)
• India
2 Apr 09
Yes! This is what I too feel. We hurt some people without intention and without coming to our knowledge, we forget it. They forgive us. We proceed with our life. We love people to be happy. If they are not happy with us, we are hurting them if we forcibly keep them with us, hurting ourselves too. It is much better to leave them to their life and proceed with our life! Thanks for the response!
@donnakristel (1704)
• Philippines
2 Apr 09
bravo to you!
love is indeed sacrifice... i know how you went through.. it is hard to accept things ...but with your heart.. i know someday..you will realize that it was a blessing. and yes, you said it was a blessing..
good luck..i know you can meet a woman for you to love..
@hustonphotography (569)
• United States
1 Apr 09
I have wished my ex well. I don't have any feelings for him one way or another. I just wish him all the best. I am happy. I don't want him back so why does it matter now. At the time I was mad but now I am over it. I have had closure and I have let go. So honestly it would not concern me anymore. Somethings just are not meant to be and that is great because it means we were meant for something greater. We just can't always see it yet. I say cut all that anger loose. Their is no since in complicating your life by holding on to it.
@Shaun72 (15959)
• Palatka, Florida
2 Apr 09
I have pretty good feeling for my ex husband. I divorced him 3 years ago. I haven't really tried to date to much myself I guess from fear of getting hurt at the same time I know and realize that he wasn't the one for me. He cheated on me and he married the woman he cheated on me with they had a child together. I have learned to accept it and move on.
@Jezebella (1446)
• United States
20 Apr 09
I do wish good for my ex. While he did cheat on me I still think he deserves to be happy even if he wasn't happy with me. I forgave him for what he did and accepted the fact that we aren;t together which is a good things because I don't want to be hurt by him any longer.
@mariposaman (2959)
• Canada
2 Apr 09
If you do not let go of that hate you are still connected to the individual. The best state to arrive at is indifference. You do not love them or hate them but do not care one way or the other and let then go free of your heart and wish them well. They did at some point in your life make you happy and you can be thankful for that, even though you could have done without the bad parts of the relationship.
If you carry around a lot of hate you not only poison yourself , you can poison your present relationship and make it impossible to love again. I find that some people carry that hurt around for years, when the person that has hurt them has moved on a long time ago and does not care anymore about you.
@janyen (623)
• Netherlands
1 Apr 09
since, im happy with my life right now, i think its good for me to let my anger out and wish my ex's good life and happy living. i really don't know where their where abouts as of this time but i already forgiven them.
@ddhawkins63 (682)
• United States
2 Apr 09
Yes, I went through this with several exes. The thing is, the last one I haven't found forgiveness for because he dumped me two weeks prior to the wedding we were supposed to have for someone that I worked with..... Anyway, I feel no need to forgive him of anything because he destroyed my world for quite a while. It could have been handled much better by him. He continued contacting me after the break up as well which made it even worse. If he hadn't done that, I could probably have forgiven him by now. As it is, he can take a flying leap off the tallest building the the world and I would be there cheering him on... :-) I know that's not nice and I have moved on with my life, but as for him, he never existed in my book. For those that can forgive it, that's great, you will live with a greater peace I suppose. But I haven't missed out on anything because of it and am grateful that he ended it as I have found a much happier life separated completely from him.
@sourabhj (20)
• India
1 Apr 09
Yes i wish good for my ex-love who cheated me.the reason is simple that i love my love.it doesnt matter what that person did,love is giving.Ist simple do parents hate their kids if they cheat them -no they forgive them becuase they love their kid more than self.that it...Only thing which i want that atleast one day that person should realise his/her mistake.& want to see that person how is he/she at least once.
Well i also got cheated by a girl who left me dieing,it was she who came to me told me that she love me ,she need me badly even my family members were involved we were about to marry but suddenly this new year she left me..because she was selfish she need more money & went to other guy,i dont know why?,she never thought of me ,she begged at me to accepot her earlier & now i begged at her to go away slowly but ...she distched me.it was hard for me to recover ,even my family members are shocked,my mother & father got sick,but she never thought for nayone for a second...well its enough...boring u all...But i still wish good for her bcos i love her but want to tell you one thing i ma strugling hard to hate her..so that i can live happily..
Well what you guys think about it.please share..
@qinqinoen (127)
• China
2 Apr 09
I almost got ditched by a boy three years.We are classmates in a college.He was my first love and I thought he would be my love throughout my life.But after graduation he found a very good job in the university,but I couldn't find a suitable job there.So we worked in different cities.In order to get together,I studyed hard to take part the entrance exam for postgraduate schools.But when I got the admission,he had already found another girlfriend. I felt very sad just like you.I hate him very much.Thanks to my parents and friends I got up the courage to continue my study.This is my second year of postgraduate study and I already have a boyfriend.He loves me very much.I feel very happy.Sometimes I can think of him,but I no longer hate him.It is no use to hate him,present is the most important.There is plenty of pebbles on the beach.I believe you can find a very good girlfriend.Good luck to you!
@Demonsway156 (47)
• United States
1 Apr 09
I have had some of the same feelings. But my theory is that when you loose someone and they find someone else, you are angry because you thought you were the only one who could be special in that persons life. You don't think any other person could fit together the way you did with her.
