does having children really impinge on marital bliss?

hi sinokirin :D ...well first of all i do believe that having a child is a wonderful gift that many couples have or wish to have. ofcourse things will change after a new born arrives, especially if the couple is new to the whole parenting idea. the first thing to consider before even getting pregnant now a days is what future you can provide for that child that you wish to have. the whole 'bliss' dilema starts of when a couple is economically unstable and they tend to quarrel about the expenses and new responsibillities that come along with having a child. ofcourse their are the couples also that try their best to deal with the situation and once both of them have good communication with each other, it is most likely that their marriage would tend to remain normal.

I don't know where that study came from, but I totally disagree with it. I beleive a child will strengthen a marriage that is alreay strong to begin with. If a couple is unhappy in thier marriage, the additional stress of having a child will make the stress even greater. So, I believe what I am saying is that if a couple has a strong bond, their love will be strengthened through a child. The child will add to their happiness. If a couple is unhappy and they are having relationship problems, they should not add another child to the mix thinking that a child will solve all their problems. How many times, have we heard of teenage mothers getting pregnant, because they are lonely and want someone to love and someone to love them back? Those are all the wrong reasons for having a child. So...it depends greatly on the couples bond whether a child will increase their happiness or decrease it.

I think it really depends on the marriage and the couple. If you have ones that look at partying and going out all the time, then yes it will impinge on their marriage and their lifestyle. I think the biggest thing is to realize once you have a baby, it is yours and you are responsible in raising the child. Or at least should be. It doesn't happen that way a lot now days thou. If you want the easy life and to live for you or for you and your honey and don't want to settle down don't have a baby. If a couple isn't mature enough to put a child first that is a sign to stay on birth control. Now for a couple that are settled and can put a child first then you just learn as you go. The baby does not impinge on you or your relationship, the baby/babies complete you and makes you a bigger family.

I guess the study depends, everyone is different. I have to agree with the study that having children does impinge on marital bliss, more so if you have more than one child. In my case we have four and there has never been a moment for us to be alone, we have no one to have the kids for a day so that we can go out somewhere together or do things together as just a couple rather than a family. Everything has to revolve for now around the kids because they are dependant and are always wanting something or needing something. So for me I have to say that yes, marital bliss has definately been affected.

Depends, it shouldnt affect a marriage if youre ready to have a family. Everyone knows that when you start a family there's alwasy other joys you have to give up in order to get new joys. People who have gotten divorced because they had kids probably were'nt ready for them. Happy MyLotting!

I think that it can both make you stronger and grow your bond or it can have a negative affect. I think that people who are truly in love and are mature, will only love their life more. It is so hard to have kids, this is such a time consuming venture and not for the selfish. It also cost so much money to have kids and so many issues with marriages are based on income issues and money problems. The people who believe that everyday should be marital bliss are just confused. For instance, my niece is 17, in the 11th grade... She met this guy and they fell in love, she is now expecting and about to be married. I am still horrified and although, I wish her the best, doubt that she made the right choice. People who have kids intending to make this happy la la life are living in la la land ;)

On the other hand, I feel that children bring couples closer and its one of the fundamental reasons many couples think twice before contemplating divorce. A child definitely takes a lot of one’s time and attention but its also the way a couple becomes a family. There are many of course who do not like children of their own and they are perfectly welcome to their own opinion. They have their own reasons and I feel that if a couple is uncomfortable with a child, they should not go for one.

I agree with you. I am more happy that our child was born right after our marriage. Our family is a complete family already. Although there are things that would limit a husband and wife could do with children around but seeing them grow in your midst is something of an achievement already as a parent. I can never imagine what life would be for us if we are only couple without any child. We even experimented one when we sent our son to his granparents to have his summer vacation. The first few days of being away with him seems a long time already we enjoyed each other's company but there is a part of you that you wish our son was here with us. After almost a month of separation we decided to get our son back and surely his grandparents also missed our son's presence with them.

i am married for six tears and we have a three year old son. we are happy together and more happy when we had our son. having a child is like having fruits. fruits that are so sweet that you have to take care. fruits that will add sice and make you relationship stronger. some of parents are not ready to have children that is why when they have in a not expected time it will be hindrance for them.

It is probably a natural thing in a lot of relationships for things to go downward because of all of the stress. Parents can get tired and feel the stress of having children around and there are so many responsibilities that have to do with child rearing. I don't think that it happens to everyone where things go downward but life's changes happen no matter what. I think that changes can happen in a marriage or partnership even there are no children involved. Change is just a part of life and we all have to go through different challenges and try to be there for each other. Being strong and leaning on your partner for support is very prudent to keep a good thing going. Things can get difficult and first and then become easier later. Just take things one step at a time and let things happen.

Children change everything. After a child is born, your life will never be the same. After the birth, you're responsible for that baby. You are responsible for feeding it, clothing it and taking care of it. If it cries, you have to figure out why it's crying and make it stop. For some people, the added pressure of both a marraige and a child is too much, so they wind up unhappy at home and wind up divorced. Often times, this can be from other expectations. Maybe the wife thought the husband was going to help more with the baby but he doesn't. Maybe the husband thought the wife was going to quit her job to take care of the baby. There are different opinions.

I think it depends on how much a couple wants a child. Some couple may want to spend their time alone for the first few years of their married life. Some couples already have kids before they even got married. When a couple still manage to give time to themselves even when there are already kids then that is good. For me when I had a baby it made me more inspired and made me love my husband more.

Marriage is bliss and having children out of marriage is feeling God with ones own hands. We should judiciuously divide our time for both.

I do belive that having a child is a wonderful gift to the marriage. but ,after a child was born, all things would change.so young couples must adapt themselves to their new lives.otherwise,as you said they probably suffer a downturn in marital satisfaction.Generally speaking,the couples could try to dealing with the situation.when they adapt new life,their marrage will be normal.with some child ,your relationship will be stronger.