Why so much day care for children?

Thank you for replying. There are some like yourself that do decide to stop working and stay at home to care for their children. I commend you for your actions. And I can see that it stands to make sense that your daughter is doing just as well mentally and emotionally as a child that was in the day care system.

I am not putting down mothers for doing what they have to do. I am sorry if I sounded offensive in this manner. However I am trying to get a point across as to how parents are doing these things.

I am moving to Germany!lol. I didn't know that the country paid a mother for two years and you are right. The government could do well to help out the mothers in the world. You are so right and I continue to like the way you think in regards to some of the other discussions of mine that you responded to. It is so true about how so many years ago we as women were told we could have it all. But the fact that sacrifices were going to be made was not figured into it was it? Like the point of my conversation here. The fact that you just can't be two places at once. You can't be at work and also raise your children at the same time. It is also so true about the disconnection between the parents and the children. I have seem all of this first hand in my own personal connections with others. There seems to be no time spent with the kids. The parents are busy working and the children are off doing their own thing. Are the parents reading to their children or is that just left up to the day cares? Thanks for replying friend.

I am sure there would be more stay at home moms if the economy didn't force them out the door. Even when they aren't single parents, women still have to work in order to keep up with the bills. I am not talking about the extra things. I am talking about the basics such as food and clothing and a roof over the children's heads. Without all that, nothing else will matter. Women shouldn't be put down because they are doing what they have to do. That's ridiculous.

Thank you for responding winterose and I do understand that people have to work all of their lives. It is just the fact that children sometimes have to pay for their parents' decisions to not be in their lives and send them to day care from morning til night. I have seen all of this go on first hand. The child is left in the day care center literally crying from six a.m until six p.m. while the parents were going through a bad divorce. What a shame. I do understand that it is a personal choice but parents in this country are busy doing their own things and I can see from my observations that the children are not connected with their parents the way that they should be. I guess you could say that I got some more time on my hands to witness these things because I am a stay at home mother. Parents also leave children with relatives all day long or even all summer season long and pick them up at the end of the day never to see or know their accomplishments and there is the continuation of no connection between them.

I have also seen first hand mothers who stay at home and neglect and abuse their children, it works both ways, children in professional daycare centers learn to social early and that is an important function they also do better in school because they are being taught from a younger age, and they are less likely to be shy introverted children.

I understand your point of view. However my son has never been placed in day care and he is five years old. He is pretty much an extroverted child. And I think that he adjusts just as well being at home with me and is ready for kindergarten both socially and academically speaking. I do see that children can experience neglect at home as well. I guess it just comes down to the individual parenting techniques and the time spent with the children.

But on the other side.. Some parents have no choice but to leave their kids at the daycare. They may be a single parent, for whatever reason. And they don't have anyone that they can trust to keep their kids. So, they choose to let the daycare keep them. Which I understand, because the child is not old enough to keep themselves. So, the parent has to work to pay bills, because they probably have no one that they can just stay with. All this is understandable. But, if I had to let my child/children stay at a daycare, then I will make sure that I at least take some time out with them each and everyday. I will still do my best in teaching and helping them. I don't knock any reason down. We all have to do what we have to do in order to make it. But, I will not make an excuse for a parent that neglects their child.

Thank you so much for your complete understanding. There are going to be different opinions on this matter for sure. I am glad that you see where I am coming from. I have been able to enjoy the moments in my child's life where he has learned things and is happy to present me with each achievement right there in front of me not teachers that are watching him round the clock in the day care centers. You have a great way of looking at things and sound like a caring and loving mother. It is just not a good idea to let these centers raise them and see all of the child's accomplishments first hand even before the parents do. Sometimes I think that parents just want it both ways.

i was very fortunate.i'd love to keep my grandson but don't know if that would be a good idea if they let me. i already spoil him rotten. lol

Thank you for your response. I do agree that it is a shame that people have to work and leave their children. Some people might not have a choice. I am just glad that I can be at home with my son and teach him things. You are lucky that you had the grandparents help you out. I am not really sure how much help I would get if I was in a tough situation like that.

First let me make mention that this discussion was opened just like a lot of other discussions. That is why we are here. To either raise awareness or try to get the opinions of others. I am not saying parents are all wrong for working and wanting to take care of their families. But I also think the answer is right there for you. You say that if people waited to have children they would never have them. The point is that wouldn't you want to be able to afford them and be able to be in their lives also. Sometimes people have to think before they do the things that they do. The children are in these day care centers practically from the onset of life. As for the differences in how advanced a child is in his education I can understand that a child in a day care has some more interaction with others and could learn things there but it doesn't mean that a child at home with his mother can't be just as advanced. My son is a well adjusted child. He is five years old and he knows just about as much if not more then fellow children his own age. It has to do with the parenting and how much the parent spends with the child. I spend time with my son and read to him. Today's technology allows for things like educational television. My son learns from our computer that we have in our home. He likes to even teach himself things. This coming year he will be attending kindergarten. He will not be home with me however it is the law that he goes to school. That is the point where the children can begin interactions with other children in a more educational type of environment. My child has friends in the neighborhood. He can get along well and converse with others just as well as other kids that are practically raised in the day care centers.

Yes it is an open discussion just like all others and therefore I stated my opinion on the matter. Not everyone has the option that you apparently do. It doesn't mean that those children aren't happy and well adjusted children because they attend daycare. My granddaughter and grandson are just fine in that setting as well as being at home with their parents when they are not working. They are happy and smiling all the time. They haven't suffered to be in a daycare setting. As I stated in the earlier post. I was a stay at home mom with my children. I loved being there for them. Was it absolutely necessary for me to be there every second of the day? No. I chose to do it and I had the option to. It's great when a parent has the option but I find it very offensive that you would judge others because they didn't choose the same path as you did. And no, if most people waited to have a child until they didn't have to work, there would be very few new babies in the world today. Blame the economy if you want but not the parents who do it because that is how they feed their children.

I have the option to stay home but that doesn't mean that life isn't easy. My husband works full time but we are still struggling. I don't really have a means of getting to work because I live in a pretty rural area. Nevertheless in the long run I am happy to be able to be with my son and teach him for myself and he can be just as well adjusted as any other child. If you have taken notice there are some other respondents that see exactly where I am coming from and don't find my opinions offensive and can see exactly where I am coming from.

Thank you GardenGerty for your reply. I think that a home based day care might not be a bad way to go. The children can be in a learning environment along with being in the house. Kind of the best of both worlds. It just seems that a lot of sacrifices have to be made when it comes to children and parents either working or not.

The issue that I have with day care is that a lot of them come across as babysitters for parents while they are at work. I worked in one once. It is not any kind of school. The children play, get fed and take naps. There was an incident where there was a little boy that cried all day long each and every day. Children raised at home with a stay at home mother can have all the rewards a child needs just as much as whatever a child might gain in day cares. I by no means feel the least bit threatened by day care. As a matter of fact I feel the up most confidence about my abilities as a mother in teaching my son and caring for him. My son is an extroverted well adjusted child and he plays well with others. He is a normal child. Sure he might be a little selfish and not want to always share. I have seen the same actions from children that were in the day care system since practically the onset of birth. The child is a few months old and there is the parent already dropping him off at the center. There is a very important bonding time between mother and child. I think there are even incidences where the parent might even have a day off from work and still takes the child to the day care center. I watched a program once where I saw a father do this just so he could spend his day the way he wanted to. It's not right.

This makes a lot of sense savy. That is also a great way of looking at things. The time we spend with our children is so precious. There is quantity of time and quality. The quality that we offer our children is something they will remember forever whether the parent is working or not. I am getting a lot of great responses and trying to look at both sides now. Thank you so much for entering the conversation.

Oh that sounds like a good idea sassy. It works out quite well for you then. I thank you for replying to my post today. There might not be a lot of people that will agree with my view point but I just feel serious about the issue of day care centers raising children from morning to evening.

Thank you dd...I try not to feel guilty but in my heart I want to be there for every single second of my son's life. Thankfully all the big milestones he has done in front of us - I guess he saved them for us: the first time he rolled over, stood up, took a step, grew teeth, etc. Thanks so much for the kind words.

You should not feel guilty about making sure that your child has everything he needs. No one should have to feel guilty about their parenting choices when it comes to work or stay home. It is usually not a choice that people have but more a necessity in life that makes people have to work and leave their children in daycare of the care of others. It is a shame though that it truly isn't a choice but a need. If it were a choice, I am nearly positive that many more parents would stay at home to raise their children. Working moms are just as good at parenting as stay at homes. It's all in how you handle the time that you do spend with your children.

You are so right in what you are saying. I understand your point and I truly appreciate where you are coming from. The idea that every one else does it doesn't mean that you also have to work full time and send your child into the day care system as well. The day care system didn't seem to work for you. It works for the other parents because they need a babysitter while they work. I can appreciate that people need to work to put food on the table but some can sacrifice and stay at home. Lowering standards such as having one less car or one less pair of dress shoes isn't going to hurt these people. There is just no replacing being at home with the mother and I commend you for your choices. I am awarding you with best response NuttyMomma.

Thank you Ritchelle for replying to the discussion. There are a few different views on the subject but I still can't see children being placed in these centers morning til evening. The children could possibly be hurt and upset. I have seen it for myself.

there was a feature done in crime and investigation network that tackled deaths of children in day cares. i think day cares in the united states were asked to secure licenses to operate. still, that show of crime and investigation network said that it is not a 100% foolproof. i guess, this is one of those things that we have to give it up to the great someone up there to take care of things. we cannot expect all women to give up their jobs for the sake of their children. even wives of public figures who do public service and have their lives open to criticism still work and do public service and leave behind their children for a while. we can only do so much physically to make sure everything is well. that is why they say we cannot live on bread alone. we cannot do it on our own. somebody up there should help us. all we need to do sometimes is ask.