Does this mean anything?
By Cerego
@Cerego (117)
United States
April 20, 2009 12:13am CST
I'm a lady, and I have this guy friend that I've been knowing for a while now. We're in the same circle, so we see each other at least twice a week. Lately, we've been talking more over the phone, and with the exception of a few(very few)times, our conversations seem to last for at least 2 hours, we're never bored, no awkward silences.(Do you think this means ANYTHING?, because I'm not sure.) I do like him, but am not sure if its wise to think more of him than I should, especially because he just got out of a relationship, which he failed to mention until the other day.(red flag!) (All the conversations we've had, and he's just now mentioning her) but I guess it was just not really my business(am I right?), but considering the fact that I met him while he was in this relationship, I don't think she would have been happy to know that he was having 2hour long convo's with another woman. (I never flirted with him though.)I've never even given him reason to believe that I'm interested in being more than just friends. and at the same time, I am ok with us just being cool.
see, I knew he had a girlfriend(they were even engaged at one time), but I didn't say anything because I was waiting on him to say so. I never felt the need to ask because, no person should have to have a reason for mentioning their significant other. You just do it because, it just comes natural, right?
Anyway, he has a great personality, he's extremely talented and he's a handsome guy. I cannot deny my attraction to him, but something in me just doesn't want to let him know. ANY ADVICE? (sorry for being all over the place)
5 people like this
11 responses
@foisgras (205)
• Sweden
20 Apr 09
Dear Cerego,
Do you want a good advice or do you want to know more about this person?
May I be frank with you? I strongly suggest to you stop this nonsense relationship. This won't generate any positive results. If you want to find out who this person really is and get hurt, you do it. He has no personality and a professional liar, so skip this person.
@foisgras (205)
• Sweden
20 Apr 09
I am not replying you to have a negative discussion.
If he has no personality and a professional liar, do you still expect that this relationship will generate any positive results? My basis giving you this reply is from your own words. When emotion wraps you up then you are unable to focus on the real issue. When one falls in love it is absolutely CLOUD 9! So focus on what you really want. I think you are old enough to decide for yourself since the man was still married when you met him? Good-luck!
@Cerego (117)
• United States
20 Apr 09
he's never been married, lol, but they were engaged at one point in the past, before we started talking. But I do see your points, I don't think I will try to persue a relationship, it would be like building a house on a sandy foundation. No stability, and easy to be washed away! but I will not discontinue our friendship. Thanks for responding.
@xXxMikesWifeyxXx (3072)
• United States
20 Apr 09
I would try to find out wether or not he has said anything to anyone about me in that aspect first before telling him you like him like that and so forth just incase he doesnt feel the same your not the one there looking like a fool you know.
It might sound high-schoolish to do BUT its better then getting shot down and it possibly hendering your friendship. Have someone(one of his friends or yours) thats you have mutually and have them hint around to wether or he likes you without making it obvious.
I think that since you and him can talk for hours on the phone that IF it were to turn into a relatioship that you guys would have good communication.
But im not really sure of the rest..Goodluck with this one":) could turn out to be a good thing......
@sudiptacallingu (10879)
• India
20 Apr 09
Well I wouldn’t really blame the guy if he never mentioned his ex before now…no self-respecting guy would want to walk around with drooping shoulders begging for sympathy. It was only after he was sure that he wanted to tell you about it that he did and he should have that liberty. Well, Freudian theory always says that the opposites attract so that basic thing is always there but for now, let this remain as good friends. A woman’s instinct is seldom wrong (if you are not the silly romantic type like me) so if something tells you to wait, then do wait. After all, he’s not going anywhere is he?
@kareng (61753)
• United States
20 Apr 09
It seems to me that you are head over heels in love with this guy. If you are having 2 hour phone conversations on a regular basis, my guess is that he is highly interested in you also. One of you needs to make the first move. I'm sure you will find all the answers to your questions very soon. Good luck!
@srganesh (6340)
• India
20 Apr 09
You have admiration for him and it seems you are in love with him,by your post.But some hesitations are pulling you back from declaring yourself.I think you are waiting for him to cut the cake.Moreover,the unknown reason why he left his partner and the other girl friend may be the reasons for your dilemma.If you are really interested in him,ask him straight all your doubts and open up your mind.Best of luck.Cheers!
@ktosea (2026)
• China
20 Apr 09
Apprently you have feelings on the man,and more than 2 hours call really means something if you are not couples,but take it slowly and let him have time to recover from the harm of his last relationship or he will do something wrong,he maybe hurt,desprated right now and lonely,he needs someone to console him and that maybe you,you give him sometime to get over his last relationship and then decide what to do about you two.any rushing action may lead to a bad result as the man you talked may don't really like you but just lonely and hurt
@Cerego (117)
• United States
20 Apr 09
thanks, yeah, I'm thinking that maybe he's just lonely right now, and its convenient to talk to me. My main concern is the fact that he and his ex were together for at least a year or more before we started talking, and he would never mention her, I only knew because someone else told me. I'm questioning his honesty. Nevertheless, he is good company and easy to talk to.
@rsa101 (38166)
• Philippines
20 Apr 09
Being the girl in the situation do not assume anything unless the guy says the magic word. It maybe just a ways for the guy to really express his feelings about the past and you were the chosen one to receive such an honor to be his confidant and there is nothing more to that. Of course, when two persons talk a couple of hours then there must be something that is brewing in the midst of your friendship but then it is better to confirm first before assuming it is. It is the guy's duty to do it and you just have to confirm your feelings. As for now, stay the way it is right now. Be there for him as a friend unless he wanted it otherwise.
@rychelle314 (285)
•
21 Apr 09
If you can talk to him for over two hours almost every single day, I'm assuming that you've grown really intimate with him -- so why not discuss your feelings, inhibitions, fears etc. and see how he reacts. Discuss it objectively and tell him that you do not have any ulterior motive for bringing up the topic, however it's just so much easier to let it out in the open and learn about what he thinks and feel as well.
If he's matured enough, I reckon he'll understand and wouldn't take advantage of you. You'll be able to better assess your situation afterward.
@Citychic (4067)
• United States
21 Apr 09
Does this mean anything?
Sounds like he might be playing it cool b/c he don't know ur situation. It wouldn't hurt to let him know that ur attracted to him. Put small signs out there and if he don't pick up on them then it's b/c it's not meant to be...... Now ur a female so I shouldn't have to say anything more when I say, put small signals out there. This is my opinion. Bare in mind that it's always good to try to get to know a person real good b4 getting intimate with them, in this day and age it's just too dangerous with std's and other diseases going around. Good luck!
@vivianchen (2646)
• China
20 Apr 09
Hi Cerego,
I think 2 hours phone call did mean something. Or i should say that he has the same feeling as you have on him. You like him and he likes you too. But there is one problem, that's his ex. As you mentioned that you knew his ex, do you think a wisdom man will talked about his ex all the time when he is trying to propose someother girl? I don't think so. But i do think that he is not trying to hide anything from you, he just trying to avoid the embarrass monets to talk about his ex. Antoher question, does he knows about your ex? If so, you can start talking about you ex first, then ask what happen to his ex. Fair enough?
@jugsjugs (12967)
•
20 Apr 09
it sounds like you are in love with this person.but are you sure he isnt with anyone still.i mean you may not be the only person he chats to.if you did get into a relation ship with him and then you saw he was chatting to another woman on the phone or when he was out how would you feel.???????????????the same as what was his girlfriend that he didnt mention at the time felt maybe
