Is forgetting anniversary a big deal?
By yonkie
@yonkie (440)
Philippines
April 24, 2009 12:32am CST
I have a friend who broke up with her boyfriend. They had a big fight. The very reason of that fight is forgetting their anniversary. Here's what happened. Said couple turned 1 year as boyfriend and girlfriend last month. My friend was really excited about it. She consulted us what to prepare and how to make it special. She did not discuss it with her boyfriend because she wants to surprised him. On the day of their anniversary, her boyfriend did not call to greet her. She did not receive a text message from him. Before the day ends, she called his boyfriend. Her boyfriend was not aware that it was their anniversary. They quarrel and now they split up. Is forgetting anniversary then a big deal?
9 people like this
43 responses
@jammyt (2818)
• Philippines
24 Apr 09
Usually for women, this is the case. Women are very sentimental about dates. For them, these dates are very very important. I do think though, that they should not have broken up because this problem could be worked out. Men are really not keen on dates. They should not have broken up because it was just a simple matter of miscommunication. ![](/Content/images/emotes/happy.gif)
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2 people like this
@vivianchen (2646)
• China
24 Apr 09
I would say forgetting marriage anniversary will be a big deal for women. As to boyfriend girlfriend, i am not sure. If i were the girl, i will be mad as hell too. Especial you perpare all those stuff just to surprise him and he did not do anything, that is just unfair! I got into a fight with my boyfriend that he did not send me flower on valentine day, and i sent him chocolate for valentine, and that was our FIRST valentine day. I got so disappointed on him and i refused to talk to him, i think he is not care about me as much as i care about him. Although we made up at the end, i still get uset sometimes. See, the bad affects still exsit. I think your friend might need to talk to her boyfriend and let him know what is the ture feeling she is, express your feeling and your angry, do not act your anger, that's harmful for the relationship.
1 person likes this
@marciascott (25529)
• United States
25 Apr 09
It is no biggie my husband always forgets and it has been 16 years.
@pal7604 (98)
• Sweden
25 Apr 09
It is a big deal for me, in my opinion.
That is why it is called ANNIVERSARY, it is there to celebrate.
With or without any presents.
What is important to me is to remember it and celebrate it together.
To do something special together does not have to cost anything.
It is the thought that is important. This makes you special.
Women are more focused on anniversaries.
Men are not so keen about this.
We just have to accept our differences.
1 person likes this
@Opal26 (17679)
• United States
25 Apr 09
Hi yonkie! I know that your friend was upset and I can
understand that and I would be too. But, men are not like
women are! They just don't get it! They don't remember dates
of things like anniversaries, especially when they are just
dating! I could see if they were married and he forgot! But,
I think that she should have talked it out with him. I
don't think that they needed to break up over it!
1 person likes this
@tzaddi (395)
• Philippines
25 Apr 09
i think it is. just my opinion.
because it's a very important day for the two of them.
i think there's no excuse for forgetting their anniversary
just one text message is enough if one is busy. but nothing? that's really a big deal. unless the guy had an accident and he can't speak.
@makingpots (11915)
• United States
24 Apr 09
When we were dating, my husband and I couldn't even agree on what was actually our first date. We knew each other at college and were friends first, who used to do a lot of things together. So forgetting it while still just boyfriend/girlfriend would not have mattered to me. Forgetting our wedding anniversary would be very hurtful to me. It has never happened.
If you don't mind me saying, I think your friend was a bit immature about her feelings concerning the date. If it meant so much to her and was such a special day, she should have been talking with him about how to spend it and ways to make it special, not her other friends. It sounds like she was disappointed to not have the surprise aspect, which is understandable if that is important to her, but I don't think it means he cared for her any less...... it just wasn't as important to him. Being that it was THAT important to her, she should have meantioned something to him about it, given him a heads up about her feelings towards such things. I think girls just play silly games sometimes, just for the attention. What matters most??? - his feelings or his sentiment(ability to plan a surprise). Some men are sentimental and that's great, but not all are.
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1 person likes this
@glistar (127)
• United States
24 Apr 09
I do think it's a big deal, but one to break up over, I'm not sure. It would be extremely hurtful if my boyfriend forgot something as important as our anniversary. Even if he didn't MEAN to forget, it would inevitably make me feel as if us meeting/becoming a couple wasn't even worth enough to him to remember. I would definitely be very sad.
1 person likes this
@jralivio511 (480)
• Philippines
24 Apr 09
Yes, anniversary is a big deal for me. If I were in your friends situation, I would do the same thing. When a guy is on teasing stage of trying to get a girl. He'll really his very best to get he girl "yes" part. And it means, he is ready for any obligation and responsibility behind that "yes" word. anniversary plays an important role to know that a guy is still giving an important for every aspect of their relationship.
1 person likes this
@maeras (107)
• United Arab Emirates
24 Apr 09
I understand the sentiments of the girl but I think that it doesn't have to end up that way. It's true what most of them say here, it's the girls who always remembers dates and anniversaries. The boys are just inherently insensitive of such things most of the time. After all, she made an effort for the occasion, she has the right to sulk...But I guess if they split up for just that reason, they are really not meant for each other. I mean, those things shouldn't be a cause for a breakup. If they can't get pass this issue, what more if the problem is much worse?
1 person likes this
@trina48D (88)
• United States
25 Apr 09
I am a woman and I think this is really sad that this young girl put more importance on a day than on the man that she supposedly loves or really cares about. She wants him to think and act like she would. If that is what she wants maybe she should date another girl. If it meant a lot to her she should have made her plans and invited him over and surprised him. Since he did not have a clue he would have been very surprised and maybe even embarrassed so that in the future he may have actually remembered. Unfortunately, the way she handled it made it a problem and stumbling block instead of just a joyful day. We cannot expect someone else to react an respond the same way we would to something. It is a learned thing. If you had shared with him that it means a lot to you to be remembered on those days he eventually would make note of it and over time would remember, but even if he never does, what is more important, that he cares for you and provides for you everyday or that he remembers a day out of the year? I have been married for 29 years. I have never received an anniversary gift or even a card. I don't get birthday gifts or cards and this is the first year I ever received anything for valentines day. Him remembering or forgetting those days is irrelevant, him loving me and respecting me all the other days is what matters.
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
24 Apr 09
i think it is a big deal for some, for those who knows that every moment or stages in one's relationship is important. it is important to remember the date of your being together with your loved one, similar to the birthday of your baby, daughter, or mother.
1 person likes this
@celestial052506 (2914)
• Philippines
24 Apr 09
Well, to others it is a big deal but there are people who don't mind about it. Some men are not that thoughtful when it comes to significant dates specially if they are busy with work. Women should also understand about this thing. I think if a man forgets the anniversary, the woman should give him chance to explain.. Splitting is not the solution of this problem. Am sure it is upsetting for the ladies the most, not with men...but, to the extent of having breaking up because of that? That is too much. Just fight over it nor split up.. hahahaha... maybe the man don't have any idea when he was accepted by the woman.![](/Content/images/emotes/lol.gif)
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1 person likes this
@rtslvtwy (1088)
• Malaysia
24 Apr 09
I would say that it's a big deal if it is a wedding anniversary. But if it's just an anniversary of when the relationship started as boyfriend and girlfriend, i think it's not that big a deal. It's just common and we can't really remember after going through several relationships already.
So, I guess it's okay and not a big deal at all if it's just an anniversary of a relationship.
1 person likes this
@yuguoli (83)
• China
24 Apr 09
For me, it is not big deal but for my girlfriend, maybe quarrel is ready if anniversary forgotten. lol. Indeed, my memory is not as good as my girlfriend, sometimes I could just forget my own age. But this reason doesn't work to most girls, I guess. Girls are more sensitive to people or things around her. She would be very caring about what's going on. If she takes this seriously, then a FIGHT may happen or even breaking up thing ready. So now, I am trying to remember everyting details of my girls in case that she asks me about. I just wrote them down on paper. If I forget, she would definitely think I'm not caring about her, but actually I guess most men oppose such kind of idea. So what? No big deal? lol
Some little thing may transfer to big you know. So just take care of it while in love, or you may spend lots of time fixing on it or she may go away. Remember that, boys. Good luck.
1 person likes this
@hughchen (32)
• China
24 Apr 09
it may be very important for a girl to celebrate their anniversary.some boys will remember those dates important to them,so that her girl will be happy.but some boys are not so careful,and they may forget those days.she may remind him of the anniversary,and the boy may feel guilty.and he will remember their dates next time.
1 person likes this
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