Am I doing something wrong? Am I violating a right?
By iskayz
@iskayz (5420)
Philippines
April 24, 2009 10:02am CST
Our maid of more than 15 years is having a problem with her husband. Her live-in partner wants her to stop working and just attend to his needs and take care of him. The maid told us her problem and she will be working until the end of March only. I told her ok she can go, but not until we have found a replacement for her. She agreed cause’ she doesn’t want to leave us without a maid too.
The problem is, it’s been almost 2 months and I haven’t found a replacement for her. It’s nearing the end of April and I can see that she’s a bit troubled working. Her husband sometimes calls and I know they are having fights about her still working. We are trying our best to find a replacement but it’s just so hard to get one.
My question is, should let her go this end of April or not until there’s someone to replace her. I can sense that she really wanted go already. If I don't let her go, am I violating her right to stop working? We don’t have any contracts or written agreements. It’s not how we normally acquire maids here in the Philippines. I am concerned about her but what about us? It's going to be hard for sure without a maid.
What should I do?
2 people like this
12 responses
@anjel016 (329)
• Philippines
24 Apr 09
To be honest, being her boss for 15 years you should already know how to understand the current situation. If you will just put your shoes unto hers, what would you feel? Is work a better preference rather than her husband? Of course not.
Even if she is your maid, she's still a human being. You should respect her decision. And you kinda treat her like she's not like a co-Filipino.
Finding a new maid is a lot faster than curing a broken relationship.
Why not try the agencies? I am sure there are lots of maids available around...
1 person likes this
@nv_jenn (207)
• Canada
24 Apr 09
I really agree with this comment. She has already given appropriate notice that she will not be working for you anymore so you have no choice but to let her go.
Another thing to check is postings at grocery stores or other areas that have bulletin boards for people to post. There are always lots of people willing to clean houses for some extra money.
@iskayz (5420)
• Philippines
2 May 09
I understand our maid's situation, really. I respected her decision to stop working cause I didn't really stopped her. She was the one who gave me the idea that she's not leaving until we find a replacement.
We are trying our best to find a new maid but it's not that easy to just hire anyone. I have to think of my family's safety too. We need a maid whom we can trust and as much as possible someone we already know. I know it's been two months that's why I am continually beseeching her to wait until we find a new maid.
@Anora_Eldorath (6028)
• United States
25 Apr 09
Well, here in the US you'd be violating her rights forcing her to stay after she's given you notice of intent to leave the position. Sure, it might be hard to replace her but no one should be forced to stay and work just because you the boss want them to work.
And being that you know the situation, the problems working for you is causing her marriage, I would hope you'd be slightly compassionate toward that and simply take on the household duties yourself until you could find a proper replacement. Housework never killed anyone, you know. It might actually give you a bit of appreciation for what you maid provides you with.
Namaste-Anora
@iskayz (5420)
• Philippines
2 May 09
I know that it's not right to force her to work for my family. I'm aware that I could be violating her right that's why I am seeking advice on what to do. But the fact that she agreed not to leave until we find a replacement, I guess it's still ok for her continue working until she can leave.
@iskayz (5420)
• Philippines
5 May 09
I am giving it much thought, really. Everyone is helping out in trying to look for a replacement for her. But we still need a little more time cause we can't just hire anyone we're not sure of that can work as good as our current maid. It's hard just to trust someone and she knows that. We are both compromising with the situation. It is as hard for me as to her.
@Anora_Eldorath (6028)
• United States
2 May 09
If you know this is causing her so much stress, why would you inflict that upon another person? Do you consider yourself so above doing household work for a time that you'd willfully inflict this sort of thing upon another human being? Give it some thought. Namaste-Anora
@grecychunny26 (9482)
• Philippines
25 Apr 09
You are not violating her right, but it is much better if be true of what you compromised. Since that is the reason of their fight, you should let her go on the date you settled, but I am sorry that you have to sacrifice for the mean time until you find a new one. Can you ask her if she can recommend someone as her replacement, I guess she know someone. I hope she can help you so that everything will be settle down.
@iskayz (5420)
• Philippines
5 May 09
Hi! We didn't really set a date until when she will be working for us. Well she warned me that might be leaving until the end of March. But she said she won't leave until we find a replacement for her.
She still cares for us I know considering she is willing to stay until a new maid arrives. I also care for her that's why I always ask to have patience cause everyone is trying to help in looking for a replacement. She herself is looking for a replacement that she knows is trustworthy.
@ladybug565 (2216)
• United States
24 Apr 09
I would let her go. I think not only are you violating her right to stop working and causing her alot of trouble fighting with her husband but you are also being selfish. is there any reason you cant clean for yourself untill you find someone else. how hard are you actually looking for a replacement since she has agreed to stay untill you find someone.
@ladybug565 (2216)
• United States
24 Apr 09
I didnt mea nfor that to come out sounding harsh I know that you must be attached to her and all and it is hard to let go but I was thinking of the position she is being put in also. have a good day and I hope you find a good replacement soon.
@iskayz (5420)
• Philippines
2 May 09
Hi! I'm not really trying to hold her (the maid) back. She was really the one who gave me the idea that she's not going until she can find a replacement. So we just compromised with her idea. She even promised that she's not leaving until we find a new maid.
I know how to do house chores. I've lived independently for the last 13 years and I can do everything on my own, at my own place. But just last year I have come back home with my family. We have a big family and I can't serve everyone of them considering I am the only one in my family trying to help the maid do the house chores.
I know she wants to leave but she has to think about us too. We have been good to her and to her husband and she knows that. I cannot hire someone that I know and can't trust. Normally here in the Philippines maids are hired through personal referrals. Hiring maids are safer that way.
Happy posting!
@berrys (864)
• Singapore
25 Apr 09
its better to let her go or she might blame you for her unhappiness with her live-in partner eventually. she worked for you more than month extra since she gave you notice and right now i feel like you're just taking advantage of her. just rough it out for a couple of months till you find someone new. honestly i would rather have a happy maid help me around the house and not a troubled maid cause she has done nothing wrong to deserve what you're doing to her. Im not saying you're a bad person or anything but in this case i feel its a little to cruel to still keep her now for so long but on the other hand you are still paying her so its not that bad. cheers mate.
@iskayz (5420)
• Philippines
5 May 09
Well I will let her go soon. I have talked to my brothers and sister that we will set the date when she will leave maybe within this month. Even if we haven't found a replacement we will let her leave.
I am still concerned with her happiness that's why we're trying our best to look for a new maid. I am also continuously asking for her patience cause we need time to set things right. I can do the house chores but considering I'm the only one helping her with the work, I can't do everything alone. I still have others thing to attend to. I hope everyone understands that.
Ciao!
@bing28 (3795)
• Philippines
25 Apr 09
It's better letting her go without grudges or hurt feelings, you're a good boss that she became loyal to you for 15 years, I guess once she needed a job again she would prioritize you. So let her go and pray that you'll find a replacement the soonest. God is good she would bless you with a new maid for understanding her.
@iskayz (5420)
• Philippines
2 May 09
Hi! Yeah thanks a lot.. My family have been good to our servants. The maid have come to us many times already. She had gone and come back and I guess that proves we have been good to her. She even told me she wouldn't go if not because of her husband.
I will let her go. I know I can't keep her against her will. I just need a little more time.
@mialei23 (2385)
• Philippines
24 Apr 09
Hi iskayz, well you are not violating anything besides you cannot find a replacement of her, what should you do? Maybe the best way to do so that you were not haunting by your conscience, let her go. She was able to served you for 15 years and maybe this is the right time that she also serve his husband for good and I think this servant of yours were got old in your family. I hope you can decide the right way, I wish you luck and and your maid too I hope that you will fix everything in the right time.
@Humbug25 (12540)
•
24 Apr 09
Hi there iskayz
You will have to let her go. I don't see how you have the right to keep her from going especially as she has already given you notice of leaving her work placing with you. She sounds like she has been very loyal to you over the years and need to respect her choice. Unfortunatly you will have to do the work yourself until you find someone else!!
@gracie04 (4549)
• Philippines
24 Apr 09
If I were you, I would just let her go.. Just put yourself in her situation and i bet you'll understand what her real feelings are.. soon, you'll find a great replacement for her.. just keep looking.. ask your friends if they know someone trustworthy who can work as a househelper.. don't let the situation gets worse.. have some considerations.. let her go and let her go back to her husband.. maybe her husband needs her so badly..
@harmonee (1228)
• United States
25 Apr 09
I think you have to let her go. She communicated with you that she wanted to be done and was nice enough to stay as long as she has, but it's time to part ways. You don't want to take advantage of her favor of staying, especially if it is putting a strain on her home life. Maybe see if she has any recommendations for a replacement.
@xbeautyme_27x (28)
• Philippines
25 Apr 09
hello fellas i think you need to let her go after all she work with you for 15 years, may be its about time that she give her full attention to his husband and kids, dont worry you will have a good replacement soon but for the time you let her go, you will be the one to do the house hold chores its just a matter of time management to handle it all. good luck!
