Jealous of others..... feel like an inadaquate parent sorta

Well... to ease your mind... my mom only sent me to a week long summer camp once... and I absolutly hated it! haha I feel, as long as your kids are happy, you should be happy. Whether they're content with a stick and a rock or a brand new power wheels... what does it matter? My fiance and I recently discovered that we could save ourselves a lot of money by being more conservative with our daughter. She does have everything under the sun! She's only 3 and she's had 2 ball pits, she has 2 power wheels, a big wheel, a regular bike, a digital camera, this neat bike video game thing, toys and toys and toys... and she doesn't play with any of them!!!! She wants to carry a purse, sunglasses and toy cell phone (like mom), pretty shoes and maybe one or two dolls would do. Its very rarely she hops on her 4wheeler (powerwheels) or gets on her bike. For example, when she got home from daycare today I had some of her outside toys spread across the yard figuring she's play with them while I cleaned up the yard a bit. Nope! Didnt touch one of them... she helped me throw trash and stuff into my truck and then we went out back and threw rocks in the creek and played with the dog for 2 hours. Last summer we took her to 3 or 4 different amusement parks... spent a fortune of course... and she could have cared less! Instead of trying to do all these different things with her (now, i do realize she's younger too), lets just enjoy what we have... whether its toys or tickle fights. Lets make sure that our kids are happy and enjoying their childhood in the way that THEY want to enjoy it. Not in the way we think they should enjoy it. We're going to open our eyes more to the things that she likes and that she wants to do. Not what we thnk she should have because we didn't have that. Know what I mean? So basically, ignore the snoody looks, comments or whatever. Look in your childrens eyes and YOU tell ME what they are or aren't missing out on :o)

She has 2 incomes? I assume she doesn't stay home with her children, then. Don't be jealous, you are giving your children the gift of your time and they will always be grateful for it. So, this woman works and she's looking for ways to keep her child busy, eh? How about spending some time playing a board game with the child or hiking--being with him. Some people have their priorities all messed up. You are not inadequate, she is.

Some parents load their kids down with all these activities after school and that's not a very healthy thing to do, most of the time the kids just want to relax and watch TV or play with their friends or just have quiet time. I wouldn't feel bad if I where you your doing the best you can and your children sound like they have a very loving parent and that's what really counts.

Spend time with your kids instead.. in the long run, that is what matters the most and what they will never forget. trust me!

I know how you feel, it's another form of keeping up with the Jones's. Everyone comes across these type feelings now and then. I know a mom who has 2 girls... both girls are in 3 dance classes, baton class, and whatever else happens to come their way. She once told me she and her husband were living off disability. I wondered how they afforded all this when they're on a limited income! I still have no idea. But you have to take into consideration the reason behind this woman trying to get her child involved in every activity possible. When does she spend quality time with her child? You said they have 2 incomes... so I assume she works outside the home, which means the child is with a sitter for at least 40 hours a week? So mom and dad come home from work and the kid is immediatly shipped off to this activity or that activity? When does the kid spend time with mom and dad? What do they do as a family? I think your kids have it better. They get to spend plenty of time with mom, and I bet you guys do family activies on the weekends when your husband is home from work. From what I've read here on Mylot, you do seem like a close family...so you have it better than that kid does. Consider yourself lucky.

Doesn't your Scout troop offer scholarships for girls who might not be able to afford it? When I was leading a troop we had such things so that everyone was able to go. It's a shame that some parents feel the need to enroll their child in everything under the sun. I don't believe that it is necessarily healthy to have them over-worked. I mean, between their studies, time with family, friends, etc how much time could they possibly have to be in all of those extra things? I wouldn't feel too bad that your daughters are only doing a few things. They will be very good at those things, and probably get more out of them because they're not pressured to just go, go, go. I'd check out the Park District, if you have one, because I know they often have scholarships for families that can't afford the activities. Namaste-Anora

i don't have a child yet... but i know how you feel... i sometimes also feel like that when i speak to my friends who are richer than me materialistically... but i try to ignore them and not be jealous of them... i try to always be thankful with what i have... it is God's blessings and it is sufficient for me... i always try to look at people who are less fortunate than me... in that way, i can always be grateful, happy with my life and not complaining... take care and have a nice day...

Don't feel bad about it. You are doing the best you can for your kids. Sometimes I feel the same way when I hear of kids in all these lessons and activities. My kids are very limited on what they can do as we just can't afford it. I think that sometimes kids have too many activities any way. My kids just enjoy doing regular kid stuff. Another alternative is sometimes there are subsidies offered for programs, maybe you could see if there are any in your area. Also churches often have free (or very low cost) activities for kids. I don't know if you have checked these out, but just some ideas.

DON’T let this go to your head…you will trickle this down to your children and make them feel miserable and left out. For various reasons, I have limited activity for my son…expense is certainly one of them. My son is no genius and I believe in saving every penny for his future rather than take him to different directions, pay thru my nose, wait for that latent talent to come up and then NOTHING…no money, no proper education, no career either. Anyways kids are way too young to understand all these…they just want to have fun so most parents give in…its also a kind of status symbol to flaunt the number of extra curricular activities your child is into. I don’t listen to such lists and regarding my son…everytime he comes up with some complain regarding my shortcomings…I am very firm on this…I don’t ask him about the performance of the other students in his class, I never compare his grades to others, I never enquire about other children to their mothers SO he should not compare his parents to others…what we are, we are and within our means we try our best to provide the best for him – that’s all, no argument on that.

Try not to let her make you feel bad. I know about not being able to afford a whole bunch of activities for your kids. I am a single mom of 2 and I sometimes do and sometimes do not get child support. It makes things hard sometimes. I try to not let other parents make me feel bad about not being able to do the things I want for my kids like that, but sometimes it is hard to not let it bug you.

I think the hardest thing to do as a parent is to stop comparing ourselves to the other parents around us. We think we have to do the same things as others and that other parents are doing the right thing while we are doing the wrong thing. I wonder though if you were to ask that child of hers if she wants more activities in her life? When does that kid ever have a chance to just be a kid? When does that child have a chance to be creative and interact with her environment? I like to live simply with my kids. Only a few actual toys, days where we just go out in the backyard and run around. We are only on one income here and I have found that the less of that other stuff we have, the happier we are. We have been the happiest just hanging out with each other and not worrying about all the extras. Of course, if our kids have a desire to do something like a sport or other extra-curricular activities, we will try our best to make that happen for them. I just don't think kids need to be pushed to do lots of stuff.

Don't feel bad, we would all love to do all those extra things for our kids but life doesn't allow it for all of us. My daughter is in girl scouts and my son is in boy scouts and this year my daughters camp only costs ten dollars where as my sons cost one hundred and ten dollars and that is just too much for us..they both have birthdays in May and we like to do a few camping trips as well as one vacation trip a summer and that amount just won't allow it this year. I think the most important thing is is that you are there for them giving them what they really need which are things like a safe roof over there head, food to make sure they stay healthy and a mother that loves them. They may be mad at you for not allowing them to go but they will get over and will still love you for being you not because you can't afford camp during the summer. You should just blow that other mother off, it sounds too me like she is trying to fill her child's life with a bunch of activities so she doesn't have to spend all that extra time with her/him. I know that activities in a child life are important but I also think that too many can be hurtful too. You don't want your child just too sit around and not have any thing to look forward to but I have also met kids that all they seem to do is activities and it is just running them into the ground. It doesn't mean you are a bad or lesser of a parent just because your kids schedule doesn't have something written in to it for every hour, sometimes just spending those extra minutes at home with your family can be helpful as well...just find small things to do with them like throwing a ball in the yard or having a picnic or playing dress up..those are what makes a good parent not sending them off to all these camps or activities throughout the day and besides not giving your child every little thing they want will teach them to appreciate the things they do have and even though they might not appreciate it as a young child or even a teen they will appreciate it when they are older and have their own families because they will know how to make it in this economy and be happy without having all of those extras.