are you controlled by your girlfrind or boyfriend?
By mymaria
@mymaria (379)
Philippines
April 28, 2009 12:03am CST
hi, i ask this question because i encountered lots of relationships. will i ask you, are you controlled by your boyfriend or girlfriend?, in that case, in my relationship today with my boyfriend, im not controlled. we have a different perspective in every situation we encounter but he give me a chance to decide what is the best for us. all of my opinion and decission will really respect. in other situation also. if i have a decission, like for example. if i want to wear this kind of clothes, or i will go to the party without him, he will never say that you may not,but he will give me a chance if you really want it, then go for it. the love that he really give to me, is unconditional love which i never had to regret. but in my past bf. most of them are very much strike. they dont want to be reject, they want to be follow all of their decission. everything must approved by them. how about you?
3 people like this
19 responses
@mermaidivy (15395)
• United States
28 Apr 09
I have found I'm completely under my hubby's control, I like him to be the leader all the time but I sometimes find I cannot even say something wrong, otherwise, I would get myself into trouble... I feel a little upset about that, we are making each other this way or he thinks it is fine this way...
@AandSdirect (21)
• United States
28 Apr 09
I was controlled for 17 years! From "exact change" for groceries, to permission to have the coil wire (he would take this off the car) to drive the car. I was beat, humiliated and ashamed! (i would never tell anyone..I was embarrassed!) I had 5 children with this man..And one day, After a police officer guarenteed I would end up in a body bag someday. (this was while in the hospital for the? time..this time was just a blackened eye and a sprain) I woke up! I decided that Living in a Box on the street with my 5 children would be so much better than living with this man!
I got out! It was hard! Hardest thing I ever did in my life! I began a new life Thanks to a couple friends who lent a hand (and a bed). I went through therapy, etc.
The older children have issues (from watching the abuse) in thier adult lives but are dealing well. My younger children (now almost grown) are stable and happy! Today..I am in the most Beautiful relationship with a man who truely loves me for me. Gives me all the freedom I wish and is definatly my soulmate!
I think back..and it amazes me How I went through what I did. Why I went through what I did. Women (and men) tend to get into the trap of "controlling" spouses or Boyfriends or girlfriends. We just don't realize it until things are so bad someone gets hurt or often killed!
If you are NOT happy in any way shape or form in your relationship and feel you are being controlled ...GET OUT!!! GET OUT NOW!! Don't go through what I did!
www.AandSdirect.net www.Snoozybedding.com www.AirsoftFIRE.com
@nv_jenn (207)
• Canada
28 Apr 09
Absolutely not. I am too strong of a women to let a man controll me and I have enough respect for a man to not control him. I think there are little things where we say "no" to each other but it has nothing to do with control. I have been with my bf for 14 years (since we were 14) and we know how to treat each other. I do see lots of situations where a women is being controlled. I just feel she doesn't have enough love for herself to expect anything better.
@3foxy6 (9)
• Trinidad And Tobago
29 Apr 09
i once had a guy friend who wanted to be my boyfriend he told me this but his love was unconditioal and wanted to be a dictator because everytime i go he would want to know and he was just a friend and everything i do he would want to know that is great you have a guy who respects you and accepts you but a guy like my friend told him i don't want to be his grilfriend because dictators you never know what they can do to harm you they might say nice things and if you get married to them they will ill treat you and make your life a living hell because it also happened to my cousin,stay in love everyone and be good too yourselves.
@cortney09 (1345)
• United States
3 May 09
I am not controlled by my my husband. I do however like the traditional role of the man being head of the household. At the same time though there is mostly equality with our marriage. I like him making most of the decisions, although we do check with each other before making any kind of major decision.
@Bloggership (1104)
• Indonesia
6 May 09
When i was in high school, i do had a girlfriend whose always tried to control me. She was so pretty and she realize that. Everything she said to me i fulfill it. And than i was the one who realized that i think i have just lost my freedom. I try to tell her to give me more little space of my time to hang out with my other friends. But she doesn't want to understand that... So i left her... That's all... There is so many pretty female in this world. Why should i depend on her.
@CHORES (229)
• China
30 Apr 09
I'm not controled by my boyfriend.I don't think he cares about if he asks everything I'm doing or I've done.
I sometimes want to know what he is doing, but if he doesn't want to say,then I 'LL respect his privacy.
@deedeehall (1144)
• United States
29 Apr 09
oh i have known so many controlling people in my live. i think it is such a turn off.i think that my husband is at times but i sure do put a stop to it right away. i am an adult and i expect to be treated like one. i dont think control is real love any way. good for you for having a great partner.
@csrobins (1120)
• United States
29 Apr 09
I wish I could say I am completely trusted to do the right things but whenever I do something my bf doesn’t think is good for me I feel like I shouldn’t because we are a team and we look out for each other. But I feel controlled then and want him to think I am smart enough to do the right things and stuff. I do feel a little controlled sometimes but if he knew that he would feel really bad. He doesn’t mean for it to be that way at all, he just has strong opinions on things and I respect his opinions a lot.
@hustonphotography (569)
• United States
28 Apr 09
I have been in both relationships. I have been in one that I was controlled and I have been in some where I was free and independant. After being in a controlled relationship I know I can't ever go back to that. I lost so much of myslef in that relationship. I disliked myself for letting it happen. I had no respect for myslef. I was very unhappy in that relationship. Most likely that is why it did not work out. I am happy with myslef now. I think it is important for everyone to maintain some independance for themselves. I think it is important for them to make choices for themselves. How can you enjoy life if you are not allowed to live it?
@arabellazoie (73)
• Philippines
29 Apr 09
no, im not controlled by my boyfriend. he gives me the free will to do what i want to do as long as it is with bounds of good and it wont hurt our relationship,our family and it myself. He gives me the freedom to go on own shopping, with friends and family...but not limited to the time spent with him. we always make it a point to let each other know what our schedules so that to prevent any worries and making each feel that they are important to be included in our daily routines. im happy with my relationship now and it has continually made me stronger and better person.
i did have one controlling relationship before which i know i would never go back. if you allow your boyfriend to control you bec. you love him you are not in a very healthy relationship. there is no trust,respect for individuality and pure love with that.
@yonkie (440)
• Philippines
29 Apr 09
I am not controlled by my boyfriend. My boyfriend is not also controlled by me. What we do is not controlling each others action but giving each other a chance to say something about our decision. In our relationship, we agreed that it would be better that whatever big things we do in ourselves should be consulted to each other. In such a way, we will have less arguments and less misunderstanding. We will not also be blame for whatever outcome of it.
@unfixable (1)
• Australia
29 Apr 09
i have a bad habbit of picking all the wrong men, the one ive been with now for too long has no trust in me, controlling, and makes life very hard but i just cant seem to walk away, im not strong enough to walk away :o(
@annierose (21583)
• Philippines
28 Apr 09
hi mymaria,
I am not controlled by my boyfriend. He is not a dictator type. Although, he is telling me what he wants me to do on a certain situation, he is not forcing me to obey him if I not prefer it.I remember the time I am making a decision weather to work while having a review for impending board exam or just focus on my exam.I ask his opinion and he told me that it is better for me to work while having a review.He wants me to have an experience as a teacher here as soon as possible because that will serve as my passport for me in order to be able to teach in the country where he is living.But I did not obey him on what he wants me to do. He did not get angry with that.He just told me that whatever my decision is, he will respect it and support me as much as he can.He always tells me that I am still the one who will decide for myself. He will just always be there to support me. He wants me to be always happy. And sometimes, I will admit that I am so childish and not thinking logically. During those times, he will tell me that I am his stubborn gf but despite of me being hard headed, he still loves me.
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I can say that he is a very supportive bf.I can no longer ask for more.He understand me the best he can.He always think of things that can make me happy.He wants me to be successful. And with that, he always encourage me to make right decisions in life. Decisions that can make me happy and satisfied.
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I can say that he is a very supportive bf.I can no longer ask for more.He understand me the best he can.He always think of things that can make me happy.He wants me to be successful. And with that, he always encourage me to make right decisions in life. Decisions that can make me happy and satisfied.
@venmarz13 (735)
• Indonesia
28 Apr 09
ehm my boyfriend is a kind of a gentleman.he never controll my activity, my relationship with others.he always can communicate with all of my friends.i really like his attitude.but in here i was controlled my boyfriend activities like gaming or hangout with his friend and also his realtionship with others especially a girl.althoug i know he is so loyal with out commitment
@icesmile (7160)
• Romania
28 Apr 09
No, i am a person with a strong character and personality, and nowbody can t control when i want take a decision. I don t know if is good or not, but i am a little "wild", and because all my life i take good and bad decision, now i don t need to control me, i am wise enaught to see what is right or not.
Sometimes is good to talk with somebody to see if is good or not, but because i am alone all decision are mine. Maybe when i will be with somebody, i will consult with who i am, but now i take all responsability, and i asume wrongh decisins too
@russso (1693)
• Philippines
28 Apr 09
Hi MYMARIA.
I'd say you are in a mature relationship right now. I'm quite lucky too.. to be in one. It's something that we should be thankful for because our partners allow us to be who we are and at the same time they accept us for who we are and who we're not. I have experienced having a partner who was a control-freak and it was like hell!
Stay happy and in love :)
