Is it really a big deal to the husband when his wife earns more than he does?
By Bebs08
@Bebs08 (10681)
United States
April 29, 2009 10:34pm CST
Well, to some husbands, it doesn't matter but to some, it really is a big deal. I know of a husband who is miserable when they both received their salary statements because the wife has a higher salary than him. They were both working in the same company. The wife was one of the department supervisors while the husband is a field worker. He is not working in the office. In this situation, the wife has a higher wage than the husband. One time, The understanding wife requested the accountant to switch their pay slip, just to protect the ego of her husband but that is against the company policy.
The husband is really miserable thinking that her wife earns higher than he does.
It is ridiculous!! why did he think about that? It doesn't matter for me? anyway, the wife is not a dominant type even if she is earning more.
Some Men are egoistic. what about you? what's your opinion in this matter? Is it really a big deal?
3 people like this
31 responses
@yonkie (440)
• Philippines
30 Apr 09
Most men wants that as the head of the family they should be the one earning more than anybody else in the family. In my opinion, if the father or husband earnings is not greater than what the mother or wife does, should just accept the fact. Why make it a big deal or make yourself miserable? As long as the father or the husband is doing his best for the betterment of their family and the wife is not complaining, everything will be just fine. What matters most is both are earning and they are satisfied with their living.
2 people like this
@amirev777 (4117)
• India
30 Apr 09
hi
u r right-it depends upon person to person-some may mind-others wont-but anyway male ego is always something that is difficult to appease-it will always come in the way.as far as i m concerned-i m earning more than my gurl-but somethimes in the future if she earns more-i wont mind.
1 person likes this
@amirev777 (4117)
• India
2 May 09
hi
yeah u r right-males surely do have an inflated ego in this respect-after all they have been the sole bread winners for so many centuries-but the new generation is cool in this respect i guess.
@positiveminded1977 (7072)
• India
7 May 09
Well, the fool needs a real kick in his butt. Silly fellow! He ought to be glad some extra money is coming in and he acts like a caveman. I am really glad all men are not like this. LOL!!
Cheers and happy Mylotting
1 person likes this
@sk66rc (4250)
• United States
1 May 09
Doesn't really matter who makes what, family should be viewed as a single unit... Family's income shold be as a single household, not he makes more or she makes more... My girl friend & I have been living together for over 4 years... We make enough to support our family... What we make as a seperate people is completely irrelevant... As long as our combined income will take care of our needs, that's it...
1 person likes this
@Bebs08 (10681)
• United States
26 May 09
i agree with you but I don't know what happen to this husband who makes it a big deal to him when his wife earns more than he did. He wants to have the higher pay maybe because they are working in the same company and he is embarrass wit their co- workers when they receive their pay slip.. It is just a matter of pride for sure.
@bing28 (3795)
• Philippines
30 Apr 09
It doesn't matter if wife earns more, however other husbands feel insecure. As being the head of the family they want to be the one earning more. It doesn't matter however to some husbands as long as the wives who got the higher earnings doesn't show this as a big deal. The wives must maintain the same level of respect and regards to husbands and should not always make her high earnings as subject for discussions. She would remain humble so as not to irritate the husband. Other husbands are much proud of their wives who earned much instead.
@sunil_008 (1269)
• India
1 May 09
Hi, i don't think it should be a big deal.but yes for some people it is indeed. according to me the only reason i find in this case is the male dominany that we have in our mind related to taking care of the family issues. we all have that in our back of the mind that men should earn and women should only give birth to child and take care of home...
though we all know that its nothing like that now. women are really doing well in the corporate sector and proving themselves far more than what has expected from them.yes we have the money factor in our life as long as we live on this planet so there is that male mentality behind it which makes the husband feel very jealousy and low esteem in front of his spouse.
well, honestly am not that kind of person to feel the way he is right now rather i would give my lady as much encouragement as i can to make her feel proud.
1 person likes this
@lingli_78 (12822)
• Australia
30 Apr 09
i don't think so... it is the same thing whoever is earning more as hubby and wife have become one when they are married... so there shouldn't be any difference... the problem is, men have too much ego and their pride just don't allowed women to earn more than them as they think that they are the head of the family... i earn more than my hubby sometimes but he doesn't mind... it doesn't really matter who earn more as long as we are happy together... take care and have a nice day...
1 person likes this
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
30 Apr 09
I know there are men that think that way and you are right.......it is all about the ego. It is actually pretty foolish considering they both contribute to the same household. They should both be grateful to have jobs the way things are lately.
1 person likes this
@Yori88 (1465)
• Philippines
30 Apr 09
I think that should not matter. But since some men are really egoistic, then that becomes a problem. In my case my husband earns more than I. I do not even get half of what he earns. I am not egoistic even when some woman at my age are earning more than me. What matters to me is that you have a decent job. I am still waiting for my interview schedule and hopefully I get hired so I could help my husband with the expenses. I understand that men are egoistic but then they should also learn when to control their ego. I think if a wife or a woman is not bragging her salary that is bigger than his husband or partner, then that should not be a problem with the men. Then if a man is really egoistic then he should find ways on how he can earn more than his wife. That's it. They should solve their problem to end up their hurt ego.
@eichs1 (1934)
• Philippines
30 Apr 09
The wife in your example is understanding. Imagine taking the effort to talk to the account to switch the pay slip even if she knows that it is against company rules. With a wife like that, I don't think husbands should feel miserable after all. When both took the vow of marriage, things no longer stays as his and hers. What's his becomes hers and hers is his. Maybe it's time for the husband to remember that and accept that nowadays, women has equal and sometimes greater income opportunity than men.
1 person likes this
@Bebs08 (10681)
• United States
1 May 09
Correct!! that is what he suppose to think but he is different. hahaha.. He want to be greater than his wife in position and income. So, to avoid those hurt feelings, he reigned from that company and put up his own business where he can be his own boss and earn sky is the limit. That's what he said. the wife now was promoted to a higher position level that covers the whole region. She always travel because of this.
@kencorrie (44)
•
1 May 09
Maybe I am in the minority but being a man it would not bother me if my partner earned more. Life is about being able to enjoy yourself. Someone should be proud of there partner whatever they earn.
@cobra1368 (702)
• United States
30 Apr 09
Me and my husband don't think so. I have a Masters degree, and he only has a Bachelors, so it would make sense that I would make more. Also, if the man and woman have different careers, it would be like comparing apples to oranges.
I just don't think it matters. A marriage is a partnership. Both of us are earning a paycheck, and it all goes into the same account. And we get paid at the same time, so it is like one big paycheck!
@MasonL (97)
• Trinidad And Tobago
1 May 09
Some me need to put their ego under their feet, what do they think it is' men world only? IF the wife is not the dominant type even if she's earning a little more he should count himself lucky. Men need to understand that their are women in the world as well, and they are as hard workers as well and not men alone are hard workers, so that husband should stop being a miserable fool. He and his wife can even work together in budgeting their salaries and try to have a good saving account
@Feedorento (11)
• Brazil
30 Apr 09
Is not a big deal who earns more. In the majority of the families the money is "family money" and no matter from where it came, it all go to the same place, bills and family stuff. If someone in the house needs to buy something, will not matter from where the money is. Mans that care for earn less than his wife, is a egoistic.
1 person likes this
@babygirlmd15 (22)
• United States
30 Apr 09
To my husband its not ego its not selfish it about him taking care of me he loves me so much he feels like he wants to spoil me and get me what ever i want but i remind him its our money baby and it brings him back to reality
1 person likes this
@torchablazed (3218)
• Philippines
30 Apr 09
Perhaps we can account that with the "machismo" mind set although we are the generation where women has been empowered, but there are individual who might have embraced it in theory but not necessarily in practice especially in there own homes. It discredits their manhood at some point when their wife has somewhat achieved greater than them, especially in careers and sucess. But as for me, that doesnt count, I love my wife and to be honest she might not be that big earner but she has more educational achievement than I do, and that I am very proud of.
1 person likes this
@Bebs08 (10681)
• United States
1 May 09
Oh!!! You are lucky!! your wife maybe would love to have you because of your attitude.. but not with this man. He is different. He wants to feel that he is greater than his wife and that he e=became frustrated because no matter how he tried, his wife is more in demand than he does.
@fwangaa (3057)
• China
30 Apr 09
i don't think it is a big deal . you just do what you want to do. the money is not the thing to rate person. many person earning more money than me ,but i don't think they are better than me. i don't think i am slower then them . i don't need so much more money.
1 person likes this
@abhichat1980 (250)
• India
30 Apr 09
You are right sometimes it becomes a matter of concern for some husbands and to be frank it can even destroy the peace of your family life. I have seen this first hand. One of my friends ...... he had a big ego problem over this issue with his wife and things went so awfully wrong after that ..... it eventually led the two of them to the point of getting divorced. But ya fortunately friends and family intervened and it could be averted after much discussion involving both of them. But when I look back frankly it was my friends ego problem that had to be blamed. Personally for me it is fine with me even if my wife earns more than me. I have no problem accepting if somebody is more capable than me.
1 person likes this
