Thanks to the economic downturn, Panda's may now have to moonlight!
By James72
@James72 (26790)
Australia
April 30, 2009 2:37am CST
Sad isn't it? We get so caught up with how the economic downturn is affecting each of us individually that we tend to forget about the Animal Kingdom! The fact of the matter is that Panda's are having to look beyond just bamboo eating and being spanked, so they too can make the most of the downturn and survive intact. I've come across one group of Panda's that have put together a KISS covers band for one, (They start touring in June) a lone Panda that's trying to imitate a penguin and looking rather ridiculous in the penguin enclosure at San Diego Zoo; and I even saw a team of Panda's that've shaven each other down and are looking to join the Sumo Wrestling circuit! 
What a sad turn of events this is! And it's not just the Panda's either..... Crocodiles are offering themselves to Dental Colleges as test subjects, Giraffes are cleaning high rise windows, Elephant's are stampeding the Weight Watchers Head Office looking to become spokesmodels, Lemurs are approaching Sony Music to audition for roles as back-up dancers in music videos and so it continues. I even heard about a Bald Eagle approaching Dr Phil and asking if he could fill in on his show once in a while! Can you believe that???
Have you noticed any other animals moonlighting outside of their true calling just to get by? How else do you think this economic downturn may be affecting them all? Did you even CONSIDER how it must be for them?
What a sad turn of events this is! And it's not just the Panda's either..... Crocodiles are offering themselves to Dental Colleges as test subjects, Giraffes are cleaning high rise windows, Elephant's are stampeding the Weight Watchers Head Office looking to become spokesmodels, Lemurs are approaching Sony Music to audition for roles as back-up dancers in music videos and so it continues. I even heard about a Bald Eagle approaching Dr Phil and asking if he could fill in on his show once in a while! Can you believe that???
Have you noticed any other animals moonlighting outside of their true calling just to get by? How else do you think this economic downturn may be affecting them all? Did you even CONSIDER how it must be for them?8 people like this
21 responses
@alokn99 (5717)
• India
30 Apr 09
Rabbits are offering themselves for excavation work.
Pigs are willing to becom surrogates, further more they ae even involved in organ donation.
On the other hand Owls are doing day duty.
And further more there is a huge queue of these guys outside the zoo, awaiting to display themselves. The qualification criteria for them to enter the circus is getting tougher.
This one takes the cake though:- Bald Eagle approaching Dr Phil.......
We can't let the downturn effect the panda especially James. Imagine what would happen to us if our Panda decides to dump us while trying to imitate that penguin.
This one takes the cake though:- Bald Eagle approaching Dr Phil.......
We can't let the downturn effect the panda especially James. Imagine what would happen to us if our Panda decides to dump us while trying to imitate that penguin.@James72 (26790)
• Australia
30 Apr 09
"Penguin Spanking" just doesn't have the same aura abut it at all, does it? 
These pigs are gonna struggle most of all I think, whichever one of 'em came up with this swine flu really does need some PR training! The owls must be pretty annoyed too you would think. Maybe they can look to hunting some of these excavation rabbits to release some of the pent up frustration? I can hear owls in my mind as we speak..... Rather than them saying over and over again "Who.... Who" like they normally do at night, they'll be muttering "WTF??? WTF???" and looking rather sleepy! Poor buggers.
These pigs are gonna struggle most of all I think, whichever one of 'em came up with this swine flu really does need some PR training! The owls must be pretty annoyed too you would think. Maybe they can look to hunting some of these excavation rabbits to release some of the pent up frustration? I can hear owls in my mind as we speak..... Rather than them saying over and over again "Who.... Who" like they normally do at night, they'll be muttering "WTF??? WTF???" and looking rather sleepy! Poor buggers.2 people like this
@alokn99 (5717)
• India
30 Apr 09
Chimpanzees trying to take part in reality shows... Might do a good job of it actually.
Crows auditioning for a philomenic orchestra..
Dolphins offering themselves as synchronised swimming trainers.
And the penguins replacing the Panda . That's a big NO. NO
That penguin flap spanks back real bad. The penguin is better off doing a stage show with MJ or searching for Batman
Dolphins offering themselves as synchronised swimming trainers.
And the penguins replacing the Panda . That's a big NO. NO
That penguin flap spanks back real bad. The penguin is better off doing a stage show with MJ or searching for Batman2 people like this
@James72 (26790)
• Australia
30 Apr 09
lol. Batman probably wouldn't be too keen on employing penguins anymore! I think I'd watch a reality show that had chimps replacing the actors. It'd make more sense than half the crap I've watched before, that's for sure! Any chance to swim with dolphins woould be welcomed with open arms by me as well, so if you get any updates on these synchronised swimming classes, please give me a nudge as I'd like to take part. As for the crows, good luck to them I say 'cos a symphony of cackling has little chance of success you'd think. Maybe they could target the hearing impaired and fill seats that way?
Any chance to swim with dolphins woould be welcomed with open arms by me as well, so if you get any updates on these synchronised swimming classes, please give me a nudge as I'd like to take part. As for the crows, good luck to them I say 'cos a symphony of cackling has little chance of success you'd think. Maybe they could target the hearing impaired and fill seats that way? 2 people like this
@mimpi1911 (25464)
• India
30 Apr 09
The pigs are facing the worst economic downturns ever! They are affecting the humans for some grievance and I think they need to give it a break for whoever's sake! things are terrible and shocking! I am missing my stuffed bear. He is doing over time some where else. How sad can it get!
2 people like this
@James72 (26790)
• Australia
30 Apr 09
Seriously? It's even affecting the stuffed bears now??? It's far worse than I thought! These pigs really ARE acting like pigs too. Destructive little porkers the lot of 'em! 
Maybe we need Disney to lend us Porky and he can go and bi-deh, bi-deh, bid-eh beat the crap out of 'em! lol.
These pigs really ARE acting like pigs too. Destructive little porkers the lot of 'em! Maybe we need Disney to lend us Porky and he can go and bi-deh, bi-deh, bid-eh beat the crap out of 'em! lol.1 person likes this
@Carolysom (62)
• Canada
1 May 09
Yeah, grievance indeed, we have been keeping them penned up and eating them for generations, same with the mad cows, and the chicken influenza. The fishies could start making thermometers with all there mercury. And to be honest, with all these difficulties with the animals, I think it may be time to start eating vegetarians. I did some Robins soliciting a ride around town today.
1 person likes this
@mtdewgurl74 (18151)
• United States
1 May 09
Yeah, and the Orangutan's are now taking in Day care recipients so they can make a little extra cash on the side,Spider Monkey's and gorilla's are now opening a Salon/spa treatment business. The black howler monkey has took to the stage trying to make it big in the music business, The Parrakeet's have taken up being therapist. And the some of the black and white monkeys have become workers for the electric company. And the brown female monkey has become strippers and the male ones became car washers.
1 person likes this
@mtdewgurl74 (18151)
• United States
1 May 09
Cool thank heavens I don't have to rewrite all that.,.cause I am sure I would have left half of it out..Oh and Apes have become Valets for High class restaurants..
1 person likes this
@mtdewgurl74 (18151)
• United States
1 May 09
Well, they are taught to say..and then what happened? How do you feel about that?..I will see you next session to discuss that..Who do you feel contributes to your problems..lol But then we would have to worry about them repeating back stuff we told them to other patients..lol
1 person likes this
@TheGreatWhiteBuffalo (4822)
• United States
5 May 09
Squirrels are moonlighting as carpenters and masons.
They did a good job of building a house in my chimney they plugged the hole I spent a good deal of time cleaning out the mess they made.
I have lots of projects to do today. One is to cap the chimney!
1 person likes this
@TheGreatWhiteBuffalo (4822)
• United States
5 May 09
I think they were trying to combat global warming by keeping the poisons of the combustion of fuel for the hot water heater out of the atmosphere. I have already turned off the furnace. Lucky for me or I could have had a real mess on my hands.
They also used waste material that I had set aside to put into the trash stream at a later time. So they were conserving on my overall environmental impact upon our planet.
I have little grey helpers keeping our planet clean and green... 
1 person likes this
@James72 (26790)
• Australia
5 May 09
What amazing little creatures they are! Even in the light of all this financial hardship in the world that's forcing them to work up chimneys, they STILL manage to be environmentally aware! 
We could all learn a thing or two from such selflessness. lol.
We could all learn a thing or two from such selflessness. lol.1 person likes this
@James72 (26790)
• Australia
5 May 09
Gotta love the squirrels! They can get to all the hard to reach places while they're alive and then when they meet their maker, we can use 'em as feather dusters and play toys for the cat! In your instance though, it appears they were probably a rogue gang of squirrels doing purposeful damage so other animals can step on in to repair everything for a fee. 
In your instance though, it appears they were probably a rogue gang of squirrels doing purposeful damage so other animals can step on in to repair everything for a fee. 1 person likes this
lol. It's probably for the best. You'll all be dog tired after the births anyway! DOUBLE 
@scorpiobabes (7225)
• United States
3 May 09
So you're gonna be rich--Octo-Dog is a male...I'll do the PR for a cut of all interviews and endorsement deals!
2 people like this
@riyasam (16556)
• India
30 Apr 09
(shedding crocodile tears)because of the current economic crises,my hubby has to sit late in the office to make sure his buisiness working fine,much to the annoyance of kids and myself,as if he is not there ,we cant go for an outing as he is our driver and we have to make to do with panda spanking each other(btw,pandas are now shedding crocodile tears)
1 person likes this
)in this time of crisis,i find it hard to buy glycerin(kidding),hope crocodile will have more humanity............@James72 (26790)
• Australia
30 Apr 09
It's crocodile tears all around I'm afraid! Maybe the crocodiles should be looking to bottle their own tears for extra income? We wouldn't have to exert any energy ourselves then if this were the case! The bright side with Hubby though is that he'll emerge out the other side of this downturn bigger and better than ever and of course you'll ALL benefit from this.
The bright side with Hubby though is that he'll emerge out the other side of this downturn bigger and better than ever and of course you'll ALL benefit from this. 1 person likes this
@James72 (26790)
• Australia
30 Apr 09
Oh yes! Unbridled passion at it's best and scripts almost equal to the musings of Shakespeare himself!
"Taketh thine rod and staff and roger me with glee Dear Sir!"....... "I shall gladly oblige sweet Mistress, for thine orbs are quivering in the moonlight with abandon and thine minge is glistening like fresh morning dew!"
What the heck happened to such wondrous verbal exchanges entwined with fruity and lustful visual representations of the fleshy pursuits?
"Taketh thine rod and staff and roger me with glee Dear Sir!"....... "I shall gladly oblige sweet Mistress, for thine orbs are quivering in the moonlight with abandon and thine minge is glistening like fresh morning dew!"
What the heck happened to such wondrous verbal exchanges entwined with fruity and lustful visual representations of the fleshy pursuits? 
@sconibear (8016)
• United States
30 Apr 09
i've been using a squirrel as a feather duster for a couple of weeks now.
i just hafta let him eat my nuts every now and then.
i've also been using an anteater to clean those hard to reach places, and an elephant to do the vacuuming(hey, it was good enough for the Flintstones).
oh yeah.......and i just hired this little guy to do my windows:
http://www.raincitystory.com/flash/screenclean.swf
i've also been using an anteater to clean those hard to reach places, and an elephant to do the vacuuming(hey, it was good enough for the Flintstones).
oh yeah.......and i just hired this little guy to do my windows:
http://www.raincitystory.com/flash/screenclean.swf1 person likes this
@James72 (26790)
• Australia
30 Apr 09
LMAO. He's doing a great job there sconi. Sparkling clean windows with that slightest scent of dog butt/dog nuts thrown in for free! It doesn't get much better than that! I had me one of those elephant vaccumers, but he really sucked, so I had to let him go. Have you tried using the anteater as a feather duster too? If you can train it to stiffen it's snout enough, it can become kinda like one of those dusters you use to reach the corners of the ceiling. I've found that de-toothing the squirrels is a positive move too by the way.
I had me one of those elephant vaccumers, but he really sucked, so I had to let him go. Have you tried using the anteater as a feather duster too? If you can train it to stiffen it's snout enough, it can become kinda like one of those dusters you use to reach the corners of the ceiling. I've found that de-toothing the squirrels is a positive move too by the way. @scorpiobabes (7225)
• United States
3 May 09
You want to de-tooth a squirrel? And here I thought just the tiniest bit of teeth were a good thing!
I'd personally watch out for those chimps, unless you're looking for a facelift!
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
30 Apr 09
Our neighborhood owl moonlights at night...
@elitess (5070)
• Ipswich, England
3 May 09
Hi there James. I have noticed these things also. I must add the yellow canaries that are now trowing them self at the hands of cats because they have no food to eat, so now cats are living better.
Mouses also join the yellow canaries in capitulating at the paws of cats, so i think somehow the cats aren't doing so bad in this crisis time.
1 person likes this
@James72 (26790)
• Australia
3 May 09
Heya elitess! Those poor canaries. Such a selfless act on their behalf though, I must say! Sort of like Lemmings with wings I guess. lol. And mice are in on the act too???? Good Lord will you look at how bad it's become! Cats are already lazy buggers as it is too.....
Scorpio, you sue John Deere when stuff like this happens. He makes heaps of tractors and has the money, so why the heck not! Did you know that more deer are killed by cars than hunters in the USA each year? People need to learn how to shoot straight I reckon! lol.
Cats are already lazy buggers as it is too.....
Scorpio, you sue John Deere when stuff like this happens. He makes heaps of tractors and has the money, so why the heck not! Did you know that more deer are killed by cars than hunters in the USA each year? People need to learn how to shoot straight I reckon! lol.1 person likes this
@Wizzywig (7847)
•
30 Apr 09
I hear the meerkats are to take over all umpire duties at Wimledon this year and kangaroos are taking over from DHL, UPS and parcel Force. There is a queue of bats outside the Blood Transfusion Service clinics, whilst the hyeanas are offering to provide the canned laughter for all the sitcoms that are not actually funny. Meanwhile, I have fears for my own job midst rumours that the National Union of Dung-beetles has launched a bid to take over the ... well, you can work it out...
1 person likes this
@James72 (26790)
• Australia
1 May 09
Good God, it's getting worse by the day! I LOVE Meerkats, so even though I find watching tennis a tad boring at times, I'd give it another go if Meerkats are involved! Having the Hyena's do Wimbledon umpiring could've been an interesting development though. Imagine that..... No "Quiet Please" EVER, because they'd be laughing the whole time. You keep that boot raised in preparation at all times to stamp down those dung beetles Wizzy. And don't worry about the penguins being spanked. As much as I'd love to give an Emperor Penguin a damn good paddling, they're too quick and slippery to hold down long enough to do it.
I LOVE Meerkats, so even though I find watching tennis a tad boring at times, I'd give it another go if Meerkats are involved! Having the Hyena's do Wimbledon umpiring could've been an interesting development though. Imagine that..... No "Quiet Please" EVER, because they'd be laughing the whole time. You keep that boot raised in preparation at all times to stamp down those dung beetles Wizzy. And don't worry about the penguins being spanked. As much as I'd love to give an Emperor Penguin a damn good paddling, they're too quick and slippery to hold down long enough to do it. 
@grandpa_lash (5225)
• Australia
2 May 09
James, I feel guilty that I haven't contributed to this wonderful thread, but I'm simply too tired to be funny at the moment. You'll remember the soup diet I was talking about a few months ago: well, as part of that, due to the increased energy from the early weight losses, I have bought a new exercise bike and home gym, and I am absolutely buggered half the time.
Oh yes, 5 months now for 38 lbs (18.25 kilos). If I wasn't so tired I'd be bouncing.
Lash
1 person likes this
@James72 (26790)
• Australia
2 May 09
No worries mate! I recall you mentioning this soup diet a while back, but I never realised you were still focusing on it! 18+ Kilo's over 5 months is the healthiest way to lose weight compared to these silly crash diets people go on, so good for you. And bikes and home gyms too? Fantastic! Hopefully before you know it, the buggered versus bouncing ratio will shift in the other direction.
I recall you mentioning this soup diet a while back, but I never realised you were still focusing on it! 18+ Kilo's over 5 months is the healthiest way to lose weight compared to these silly crash diets people go on, so good for you. And bikes and home gyms too? Fantastic! Hopefully before you know it, the buggered versus bouncing ratio will shift in the other direction. 
@mtdewgurl74 (18151)
• United States
1 May 09
I had a ton of stuff down page messed up not sure if it went through if it didn't i guess I will reanswer.
1 person likes this
@mimpi1911 (25464)
• India
30 Apr 09
The pigs are facing the worst economic downturns ever! They are affecting the humans for some grievance and I think they need to give it a break for whoever's sake! things are terrible and shocking! I am missing my stuffed bear. He is doing over time some where else. How sad can it get!
1 person likes this
@Little_Stormy (6883)
• United States
1 May 09
*scratches head*
*re-reads*
I am wearing new socks!
I am wearing new socks!1 person likes this
@Rosekitty (19368)
• San Marcos, Texas
3 May 09
I moonlight as a Kitty..want to hear me purr for a price?..
1 person likes this
@thebohemianheart (8827)
• United States
30 Apr 09
I saw a squirrel posing as a life guard yesterday. A poor little bunny had thrown itself into the creek behind my house. The squirrel jumped in and pulled the rabbit to safety. The thing is, I am not sure the rabbit was too appreciative of the gesture. I think he threw himself in out of desperation due to these hard times.
1 person likes this
@Margarit (3676)
• Philippines
1 May 09
Economic downturn are big factors of our living, not just the animal kingdom but even human as well. People are working so hard to earn a living, to feed themselves and even fight with other animals food in order to eat at least ones a day. I saw a man looking for food in the garbage bin fighting with an ants because the ants steal the food he ate. This is the worst of the worst scenario I've ever seen so far. Have you ever witness like this, James?
1 person likes this
