Have you ever had a friend betray you?

@deejean06 (1952)
United States
May 5, 2009 3:08pm CST
I have. Unfortunately it's someone who I work with every day. It's very upsetting because I don't know what I have done to deserve the betrayal. I tried once to have a conversation stating my point of view but all I got in return was rolled eyes and laughing. That was hurtful in itself. I stopped trying to have meaningful conversations after that and it has been barely civil. So...has this ever happened to you? What have you done? Do you have any words of wisdom for me?
4 people like this
9 responses
@zed_k4 (17589)
• Singapore
6 May 09
I did and this friend truly betrayed me big time. I know that backstabbing and all that is pretty normal as many said, but this was not only that but worst. I was being labeled with lots of not so nice things that you wouldn't believe your ears when the other party told you that. And the party that told me in turn was in cahoot with this friend of mine which said so many nasty things about me. Luckily we live in a civilize world or else, I would already punch a face to that person's face. But violence is not the way on doing things and I am just being patient because I know that bad things happen to those who do bad. Perhaps someday that person would be so hurt and remember how that person has hurt me before. I think you are better off without this kind of friend or friends that only know how to roll eyes and laugh. They should be clowns in circus for that.
1 person likes this
@deejean06 (1952)
• United States
12 Jun 09
Hi zed! What kind of sick world do we live in where backstabbing and all that is normal? Shouldn't it be out of the norm? I think so. That's terrible that you were the victim of lies and you're right - you did the right thing by not punching that person in the face. I am better off without this kind of friend and I love your advice! Thanks for the response!
1 person likes this
@zed_k4 (17589)
• Singapore
13 Jun 09
You are especially welcome, and thanks so much for the BR. They say friends in need are friends indeed. That rings so true. When we need a friend when we are especially down, that's the moment where we will find true friends; those who stick with us and those that do not.
@Tonton01 (235)
• Philippines
7 May 09
Several times, I get betrayed...the people who I used to consider "Friends" are just betraying my trust, in an apalling way. It sucks massively. XD
@deejean06 (1952)
• United States
8 Jun 09
Hi Tonton and welcome to mylot...Thanks for the response and the quick point. It sometimes is appalling because these are the people who you do consider friends and their behavior says something quite different!
@sunil_008 (1269)
• India
6 May 09
hi, i live in such a wonderful country that here people don't really betray others. rather they betray themselves while in the process of betraying others...don't believe me! but yes that's true.we all live in a society so everyone is dependant on each other.so when someone betrays you that means he's betraying himself too. when you lose a friend for some silly greeds then you won't get him back.so in the long run you are going to be the loser not him...
1 person likes this
@deejean06 (1952)
• United States
8 Jun 09
Hi sunil and thanks for the response. I'm glad you live in such a wonderful country where people don't really betray others. However I've been betrayed so many times it's difficult to trust anyone at this point. And you are right - when you betray someone you yourself lose too - thanks for that wonderful point. Due to these betrayals these people have lost friends. I will never be the person I was since I can no longer trust them.
@sblossom (2168)
6 May 09
I feel sorry for you. As my experience it happens a lot in office. I had similar experience too.My lesson is not try to make too close friend in office. It's not good for your job. It also does not help you to develop relatioship with your boss and other staff who you work with. Also you should learn how to protect yourself too. Better not make you to public in office. Keep your private things apart from your work. I had many lessons from my work. I tried to avoid some, but bacause of my nature, i still make similar mistakes. Best regards.
1 person likes this
@deejean06 (1952)
• United States
12 Jun 09
Hi sblossom...Somehow you always think that it can't happen to you. But I have definitely learned my lesson and I will not be getting close to anyone else that I work with - ever! That is excellent advice - to keep private things apart from work. I do that now - I wish I had followed your advice before - it would have saved me much heartache. Thanks for the response.
@sarcasms (120)
• India
6 May 09
ya smtimes ppl just dont turn out whome u expect them to be its pretty annoying but u just gotta go on with life and expect facts ..........it does hurt wen ur frnds betray u it has happened to me twice in life and i was shattered both times so wat learnt frm it was not to trust ppl easily and also not to expect anyting of them so if u dont expect anything there will be no reason fr dissapointment........its strange how someone who is such a gud frnd of urs could do such a thing to u it makes u dubt the very essence of the realtionship of frndship but in the end u gotta live with it ............
1 person likes this
@deejean06 (1952)
• United States
8 Jun 09
Hi sarcasms and welcome to mylot...That is a great point that you bring up - sometimes people just don't turn out the way you expected them to be. I know that was the case with me and obviously you too. I'm so sorry that you were so hurt by the betrayal that your life was shattered. Thanks for sharing with me and thanks for the response.
@rich_yu (163)
• Israel
6 May 09
sence i was young i always incounter a bad friend that always betray me i dont know why so now im natured enougn to know what cant of friend i want to have i diside nand chose a friend to be with me coz its really hard to to find some one who cant trust and who cant defend on.
1 person likes this
@deejean06 (1952)
• United States
8 Jun 09
Hi rich and thanks for the response! I too have had bad luck with people who I have considered friends and who have turned out to be the complete opposite. I know now that I don't trust that easily and I wait to become friends until I truly know the person.
@Tinna_He (300)
• China
6 May 09
The friend is my sister.she is older than me .when i was a student,i will share everything with her.i told her how about my study,how about my loving and so on.once time,i love a boy and want to open a eatery with him.but i have no enough money.so i ask her for help.she didn't lent and tell all the things to others.and i was forced to be disceperation with that boy.that time i hate her and fell her betray me.i didn't speak with her for several years.now i have my happy family with a cute baby. everything will be dilute by the time.i don't angry with her again.but we can't be back as before.
1 person likes this
@deejean06 (1952)
• United States
6 May 09
Hi tinna...you certainly do have a cute baby! It is especially sad when this happens in families. I hope everything does dilute over time and your family is whole again. Thanks for sharing!
@panmin (90)
• China
6 May 09
yes,i do have the experience that a friend betray me. how pathetic! i was there to help,but she misunderstood me and betrayed me! things began like this... when we two were still remained good friends. a guy suddenly involved in our life and then life changed. the guy had a bad reputation that almost everyone nearby knew clearly the kind of person he was. one day the guy turned to express his love feelings to me. at that time,i certainly refused to date with this guy because he was not the exactlly one suited for me and only he wanted was desire. how ridiculous! after my refuseness,this guy should turn to express his love feelings to my dear friend. gone damn! i told my friend this guy was far beyond trustful because he just wanted dating with girls and it seemed careless to him who the girls are. i told my friend that this guy had said he loved me the last minute before he turned to her. all i had thought that my friend would be inclined to agree with me. it scared me! i heard from some other girls that my friend was dating with that guy and every body was gossiped. i didn't know how and why,but the thing is,she never talk to me again. is that my fault? eventually,she broke up with that guy and asked me for forgiveness. i don't know how to choose,how could you trust your friend again after she had betrayed you...
1 person likes this
@deejean06 (1952)
• United States
8 Jun 09
Hi panmin and welcome to mylot! You're right - it is pathetic! I too had someone betray me over a guy and then when I was right about the guy and she got hurt by him too then she apologized. But it was too late - I could never trust her again - just like you.
@jayrene (2708)
• Philippines
6 May 09
yes this has happened to me, i am still angry up to now, and it has been a year since i didnt talk to that person, i still dont want to talk. i have cut all ties/connection that i have with that person.
1 person likes this
@deejean06 (1952)
• United States
18 May 09
Hi jayrene...I don't blame you - I completely understand the anger. But it was eating me alive and I'm trying to let go of it so I don't bring it home and if affects my family. Thanks for the response.
@marites31 (267)
• Philippines
6 May 09
Yes, i was also a victim of a friend betrayal. I guess even you are the most kindest person in this world. there will still be people who are going to be like this. Deceiving and taking advantage of the losses of others. I have been a good friend and still thingking what made someone else do the betrayal for me. I dont want to be specific about what happened because the pain is still there although im starting to forget what had happened. The lesson that I had learned from this is that, you should not trust someonelse that fast because you will never know who will betray you or not. The most important thing is your not doing what others dont want to do with you which is the "Golden Rule". I have learned that i dont have to point by my finger because the remaining fingers are pointed back at me. Well, I have to move on and be happy with the people that i will meet soon.. :-)
@deejean06 (1952)
• United States
12 Jun 09
Hi marites...It's sad that even the most kindest people in the world have to have such experiences. I'm sorry you had such a rough time and I'm hoping that the pain lessens for you. Thanks for the response.