My friend married an old guy
By Bebs08
@Bebs08 (10681)
United States
May 6, 2009 8:39am CST
Oh my!!! As if I can't believe it. It doesn't matter to me if it happens to other people but to my friend? I just receive a message from her that she is now is Scotland. hahahah then I saw her pictures with her hubby who looks like her grandpa.
Well, I know it is common to some but it still bothers me when it happen to my friends. Why do you think some ladies decide to marry an old man who looks like their grandpa? in my opinion? they go for financial security reasons. What do you think? Just curious to hear you..
6 people like this
30 responses
@yonkie (440)
• Philippines
8 May 09
I also think it is for financial security. Love or affection could be secondary. I have interviewed someone why she choose an old man, she just said that the man is so good to her. According to her what is important is that the man is willing to support her and uplift the economic condition of her family. She said she cannot choose the man she love because the man she love has no money like the old man.
2 people like this
@Ozarkgirl (774)
• United States
6 May 09
You should ask your friend what her reasons are. I married a man 14 years my senior, but he looks maybe 40 he is 49. I married because when I got married many years ago, he was mature and knew what he wanted in life and was done partying, and playing childish games. Guys my age even today still do not have a clue as to what life is.
1 person likes this
@yadav8797 (1211)
• India
7 May 09
hi friend,
its everybody personal matter.
some people enjoy there relationship with old people and married with them.like you will married with 14 years old man and enjoy your life with them.i think you will like the experience of man and you will also say that th childish behaviour of man excite you more.i hope your marriage will go to great success and enjoy your married pretty much.
happy myltoting
@Ozarkgirl (774)
• United States
8 May 09
Wrong, Wrong, Wrong!!! 20years difference is the limit,I DO NOT agree with that big of an age difference!!
1 person likes this
@jbrooks0127 (2324)
• United States
7 May 09
I have often wondered why age should be a factor when two people meet and fall in love. Is it a perception that because someone is older they are less desirable, less capable, maybe less loving? I suspect it is much like finding a close friend that you consider to be beautiful marrying a very ugly person, at least to some.
Now I can tell you, from personal experience, that older men are much more settled and know what they want. Financial security may be a factor for your friend but it more than likely is not be all of it. She may have tried men her age and found them wanting.
I would be interested to know what his age is....what you may perceive as old may not be so much so in today's world. I am 68. I will admit that I would not be interested in a woman young enough to be my granddaughter. She would be far to immature for me but for some men this would not be a problem. No question that for some men it keeps them young thinking and that can only be good for both.
There is only one thing to consider. Is your friend happy with him? Does he treat her well and love her dearly? My guess is that he does indeed and what more can you want for her than that?
If she were my friend and I were you I would be far more interested in those things than the fact he looks like her grandfather. We all go through this life the best way we can and when you find happiness, no matter where it is, we would be a fool to pass it up because it is not politically correct.
Be happy with her if she is happy, cry with her if it doesn't work out, but most of all be the friend I can see that you are.
1 person likes this
@Bebs08 (10681)
• United States
20 May 09
Oh wow!! good point!!! Anyway, my friend is in her early 30's and the men is I think in his late 60's. She looks really old than she was and as of this time, I think they are happy because they were only together for 3 months. I just hope that their happiness will continue.
@jbrooks0127 (2324)
• United States
21 May 09
So they would be almost 30 years apart. While the attraction they have for each other now will make it seem like they are a good match thee will come a point when it may not be so great. The reason is the generation gap. I am 68, about his age. I have a daughter that is 43 and a son that just turned 40. The thing of it is I was around 26 before we had my daughter. The generation gap is clearly there.
What he remembers in his youth she will have no clue. While this could be worked around it is so much better to be able to relate to each other.
But like I said be the friend she needs. That is all anyone can do
@sanuanu (11235)
• India
7 May 09
Grand pa?
Are you sure she is his wife, may be he is her husbands's grandfather, did you ask her specifically?
Hmm, if girls would like to marry old guys then what we young guys have to do win their heart? Should we wait till our 80s?
@UK_Shree (3603)
•
6 May 09
I have no idea why your friend in particular decided to marry this guy but I would like to believe that it does have something to do with love. I can imagine that there are a huge number of people out there that would marry someone because they had a lot of money and I actually feel quite sorry for them. If they need to do that they must obviously believe that they are not capable of earning that much by themselves or being able to earn enough to keep themselves satisfied at least. I hope your friend has done this for the right reasons. At the end of the day if she is in love with him the age gap is really a very small deal.
1 person likes this
@Bebs08 (10681)
• United States
12 May 09
Well, I could think that partly maybe she is in love but the big yes is he is financially stable with a comfortable house and car. I chat to her the other day, and that was the first communication we have since 3 years ago. she said, this man can really support a family. So, then my question has been answered.. hahahah she is comfortable because the man can afford of everything she wants. Well, heart can be taught to love. hehehe
@Citychic (4067)
• United States
6 May 09
My friend married an old guy!
OMG, you don't say, lols! Well let me tell you honey there are a lot of worst things that ur friend could be doing. I once dated an older guy, he was 15 years older than me and I guess it was b/c an older man is mature, they know what they want. They play less games. They know how to appreciate a good thing when they have it. Sometimes I wished that I had of held on to my old guy but I had to let him go b/c I was growing up and I had to get out and see if the grass was greener on the other side of the street. What I found out is that in general men are men. Old or young, they are all pretty much the same when it all really come down to it. Let ur friend have her fun with her old guy. If it's not meant to be she will see it and she will sooner or later come to see it and will eventually leave him alone on her own. Suppose he was an ugly guy with a very bad police record, do you think that you'd feel any happier for her or not?My best advice is to just leave it alone.
@Citychic (4067)
• United States
12 May 09
Old guy married ur friend!
Hey, thanks for the ur message. I don't know what ur answer was but with ur reply it make me think that the answer wasn't a very good one. Nevertheless, Sometimes they are looking for a father figure. I hope ur answer was satisfactory! Take care and thanks for posting. I guess the good thing of it all is that at least you and she are still friends, sometimes the old guy will try to hide her away from everybody. Have a good day!
@chiyosan (30183)
• Philippines
6 May 09
i think you should go and ask your friend about her reasons, first hand so you can actually know a reason based on a person who did marry an older person. for me, i think there is still love involve, just not romantic... maybe more on platonic or something simpler than that... but for some reasons, we can't help but think she is doing it for security, maturity and for financial reasons.
1 person likes this
@jellymonty (2352)
•
6 May 09
I agree with chiyosan. I think you should ask your friend that before you make any assumptions that it is only about financial security. Even though it is commonly seen as that but everybody have their reasons for getting together with an older guy. I always date older men but not old enough to be my grandpa then I would be pushing it. Talk to your friend, and possibly meet the guy as well before you make any conclusions. There are some older men who want younger girls to splash their money on so its a two way traffic when it comes to this...
1 person likes this
@moondancer (7431)
• United States
7 May 09
Only you would know your friend and her reason for marrying an older man. I myself if I did this it would be because he is good to me, and treats me special, and he loves me. I would also have to love him. It's not what's in the age or so much the looks of someone, but how does he/she treat you and do they love you and you love them? Yes, and older person is more settled or should be and they do have something to offer in finances, but that's not all. You must believe that you belong together and love each other. Be good to each other.
1 person likes this
@Bebs08 (10681)
• United States
21 May 09
Well, yes, only my friend knows about her reason.. but as I observed, she likes him because he is financially stable and has a house of his own. Mature and would really takes care of her unlike others whom she had a relationship with before, they are not that responsible. I just hope they will live happily longer.
@MsCYPRAH (394)
•
8 May 09
The man might look like a grandpa but it is her life and, unless she was coerced into it, you should be very happy for her. The only question that matters is: IS SHE REALLY HAPPY? I am sure you wish her to be happy in her life. If she is genuinely joyful then share her happiness and resist the temptation to judgethe situation because attraction is unfathomable. We never know what draws a couple together or what each of them is seeking in their life so we simply have to accept it.
1 person likes this
@WATARIKENJI (1534)
• Philippines
7 May 09
Exactly...
Your friend is wise. She is being just practical. However, we could not judge that easily. Maybe this guy gave her the kind of love and affectionshe she did not find in her past relatioship.
Love is mysterious. Money also.
@cindyhxf (1446)
• China
6 May 09
i think financial secuity reason is why young girl marry to old man.i don't believe that young pretty girl will marry an old man whithout much money.what the man really can give her?se..x? love? care?or something we don't know?anyway,happy or not.only your friend knows.good luck to her.
1 person likes this
@haiershen (1080)
• China
8 May 09
I don't know how to say, i think your friend married an old guy with money, this is the majory reason, most of young girl don't believe real love in the world, they want to find a protection, find a long-term meal ticket,they don't want to live very hard or working hard or want to get gain/success very quickly, currently, money is the important reason for looking boyfriend, most of person live with realistic not romantic. they will trying to companed whose boyfriend have plenty of money,whose boyfriend are cool, so this is normal.
1 person likes this
@harmonee (1228)
• United States
12 May 09
I like to think the best of people and assume they found some attraction and love in the age difference. For me, it wouldn't happen. I have friends who are much older than me, but I would never be able to look at them in a romantic or sexually attractive way. In fact, even writing that down I find it a bit repulsive. But if they can make a happy relationship out of it, more power to them.
1 person likes this
@Loverbear (4918)
• United States
7 May 09
She may have appreciated the qualities in the man, just like my BF. He too is old enough to be my grandfather. He is gentle, patient, understanding, loving, considerate, compassionate, non-judgmental, interesting, intelligent, extremely active and all around a wonderful person. It isn't any desire for security or finances...I take care of myself. If a person is only concerned with a person's looks, then they need to haunt a model agent. I have found that some of the ugliest people have had the most wonderful hearts and are soooo considerate and have qualities that aren't always found in the handsome younger men.
I am not married to Bill, but if he were to propose I would accept in a heart beat! Not for his money or his possessions, but for the wonderful man that he is inside.
1 person likes this
@agv0419 (3022)
• Philippines
7 May 09
I think it varies in different persons whom they going to love. I think in this case it is for financial security. I also agree to them that you need to ask your friend about this matter. Although age doesn't matter when it comes to love but sometimes I suspect some persons is only for the money not for love.
1 person likes this
@Rainbow2009 (45)
• China
7 May 09
it is really confusing to most of us. A young girl is married to an old man of almost the same age as her grandpa. But such kind of thing always happens in reality. They also give others many reasons for doing this, maybe love, security and fortune. Mostly, the spiritual love is the first and formost. A few years ago, the news that one twenty-year-old girl was married to a eighty-two-year-old Nobel winner once became the head news of various kinds of mass media. Nowadays this couple often appear before the public as the image of being in deep love. In fact, the pure platonic love is also good, the large age gap is nothing to them because they appreciate the other. Such kind of love is always found in the anecdotes of some famous persons. For most of us, it seems to be amazing. Facts exist for some reasons, moral or immoral, we don't know. I hope that most of us live simply, just for love, not for many complicated reasons.
1 person likes this
@jayrene (2708)
• Philippines
7 May 09
it's very common these days to find couples like that, very young women with older men. they do it for different reasons, some for financial security, others for love, (i know, this will raise some eyebrows, but i know someone who fell in love with a very old men), and while others for reasons only they know.
i have had some friends who married older guys, but not that old as you would say the guy looked like her grandpa. the first reason that comes to mind is of course financial security. but then who am i to judge, condemn, or even laugh at what they did, in fact i am happy with what happened to them. i have one who told me that before she got married to her husband now who is almost 20 years older than her, she never really was in love with him, but as the time goes by during their courtship, she fell in love with the man, see.
maybe i would've done the same thing, if i get attracted to they guy.
1 person likes this
@Ruby722 (796)
• China
7 May 09
Well,it's really strange. and give me a shock.But it is normal at present .
many girls dream of marry to a rich man in this world,so that she don't need to work .Even he is a old guy, I didn't piont your friend.Just you know some appearance(of things).did they love each other? unless they are love in other if not i doubt they will happiness
1 person likes this
@odaduy (25)
• Philippines
7 May 09
Its been a perception most of us, that when a woman commit a realtionship with an old man, is they go after for the financial security. but maybe there are also some of them chose older man since they are more matured than man of their same age.in case of that, if you see she looks like happy and she is proud to present to the world her husband, it also something with love too.
1 person likes this