Why do family members go insane instead of just saying that they want a divorce?

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This has happened in my family twice now, once with a cousin and now with an uncle. Over the last couple of years, my uncle and his wife haven't seemed as happy as they had been in the past. I'm sure most of the family was thinking the same thing that I was, it wouldn't be long before they were separated or divorced. Well, found out last week that while the uncle was on a fishing trip, his wife packed up her stuff and left. He came home to a half-empty house, their teenage son, and a "Dear John" letter. So, of course, he started talking to a lawyer about divorce proceedings. Later, he receives a notice that the wife has filed for a restraining order. Now, she's telling stories to their families, and saying all kinds of weird crap about him. Whatever happened to just saying that you are no longer in love and want a divorce? Why try to make the other person look like a fool? Same thing happened to my cousin and his wife 5 or 6 years ago. Now their kids are kind of messed up because of all of the drama following the breakup. I can see that the generation coming of age now and in the future is going to have a lot to work through.