I don't get it : Brides sticking BM's in any dress

I agree with you because i had a similar situation when my fiend got married last year.I was suppose to be a brides maid and can you imagine that the brides niece was the one who chose the make of the dress?Then i got promoted to maid of honour and the bride chose my dress color and wanted me to buy an expensive shoe.Which i found disrespectful because as maid of honour i get to wear my own style and be different from the BM and bride.I have now vow not to take part in anyones wedding.

I was extremely easygoing about my bridesmaid's dress. I only had one bridesmaid, and she had a dress from a wedding she was previously in that she like and fit her well. I liked the color just fine, so I let her re-wear that dress instead of making her fork over the money for a new dress that she might not like.

hi there! was that based from ur experience? =D Well, as for me, Ofcourse as the bride i am to choose our mottiff, what i did was... I allow my BM, including other entourage to choose their own style of dresses, considering that it had to be, ofcourse, with the color of my choice! That was perfectly done. Considering their different taste and body type, I think they were comfortable enough to wear the choice of their own.

Perfect! I have been a bridesmaid in a few weddings and I ended up paying for a couple of dresses that looked horrible on me....the color ...the style....the fit. They are expensive and I never wore them again. I felt self-concious throughout the ceremony. When I got married....I worked the the bridesmaids to come up with an affordable dress that they all liked. Little differences in the dress such as straps etc are not going to be noticed. The attention is on the bride.

Hey there Amanda I guess I'll say my opinion to this. I think that if it's the brides day she should have the wedding she wants but not at the expense of others. Let me explain their are styles that can flatter both overweight and skinny and average. What she should do is see how many plus sizes she has and how many of the other sizes she has. Then she should look a couple different styles that flatter both and get the input from those who are forking out the money for the dresses. Back in the day it was a must to have a uniform wedding. Meaning that everyone looked the same, except the Bride because it was her day and she was supposed to be the special one. So that is why a lot of wedding you don't see a variation in style. Me I just want a simiple wedding if I get married again. meaning that I will wear maybe a dress and that I will just have it plain. I'm not making the few people buy a dress that is going to cost over 50$ I will ask them to please find a dress in a certain color and that is it. I won't say you have to get it here or there. I'm not picky I like comfort and I want my friends to have comfort too.

I agree with you. I have not had to wear a hideous BM dress, thank goodness, but I have seen some doosies on my friends! Turquoise?? Seriously?? For my wedding, they bought the dresses, but I picked them out. I picked a Maggy London, halter-style A-line, knee-length black dress for them. It was cute, flirty and flowy. I wanted something that A) looked classy, B) looked good on all of my bridesmaids, and C) something THEY WOULD WEAR AGAIN. I think it is a total waste of money to make them spend it on something they will wear for a few hours, then it goes to Goodwill or in the trash. I picked something that I knew I would want for myself. In fact, I almost bought myself one of my BM dresses! They were super cute, and the girls looked really good in them! Of course, I wasn't one of those brides who picked her BM dresses and made them hideous ON PURPOSE just so I'd look better! (and yes, they do exist!) I already knew I'd be the life of the party that day, why should my friends suffer? Those people need some serious self esteem boosting!

Ok, I'll bite. I've been married twice but only had one wedding where I had bridesmaids. I had... 4 of them? It's been awhile, I barely remember. What I did first was choose colors, then I went looking for dresses. What I wanted was not a typical bridesmaid's dress, but something everybody could wear again for another formal event. What I found was something pretty - yes they were more fitted, long, sleeveless, but they were elegant and did not scream 'I'm a bridesmaid', plus they were only about $70 I think. I paid for half of my bridesmaids' dresses, and i don't consider $35 expensive for a dress. I didn't care what shoes were worn because the dresses were long - to the floor, so you'd see toes of shoes, that's it. I did ask for hair to be down. I don't think it was as bad as being expected to SEW my own bridesmaid dress from a pattern AND buy the material, that happened to a friend of mine so the night before we were supposed to drive 800 miles to be in this wedding, we are feverishly cutting, pinning, sewing - and uh, the two of us can't sew. Not something we intend people to SEE lol. I know for my friend's wedding she just said we had to wear purple. She didn't care what we chose to wear as long as she got to shop WITH us when we bought the dresses. All her bridesmaids had different dresses but she wasn't that picky. Yes, I was a little picky, I wanted mine to match. Everybody was about the same height so there wasn't much alteration to be done, the only problem we had was having to call other stores to find a size, but we did manage to find the same dress for everybody. I am sorry now that I didn't get one, I think my sister still has hers but I think it's too big for me lol, she's taller. I can admit that what you said about someone 40DD plus sized in a pencil dress not really being appropriate, but if you choose a dress which is really pretty flattering on any size/height of person, then there shouldn't be a problem. There are certain styles that cover many flaws people believe they might have, and if something doesn't - perhaps like something sleeveless or backless, then just wear a little crocheted wrap or something sparkly to cover up with. There can be small alterations made, but having been one of those brides who DID want the dresses to match, I don't see why people should get upset about it. I personally would prefer not to wear something that is below my knee but above my ankle, and I'd also prefer not to wear something that has long sleeves and chokes my neck, but you know what... if that's what my friend picks for her wedding and she wants me in it, I'll wear whatever she picks. It IS an honor and because you are chosen, you should remember well... that it's an honor. It isn't a given, it isn't an expectation. I didn't get to be in all my friends' weddings and not all of my friends were involved in my wedding. In fact, in my second wedding we didn't invite anybody lol and there were no fancy dresses. If I were to do it again, I think I'd likely only have 3 bridesmaids, my best friend and my sisters. I would let THEM discuss dresses and see if they could all agree on something they liked, and see if I liked it. I trust their judgement, although they don't all have the same taste in clothing they are all relatively girly and I'm sure could find something appealing that matched. I was only 22 when I got married the first time and despite what people say, a 'stress free' wedding is an oxymoron and I have to chalk up any big issues and worries to the fact that I was overwhelmed and it was just really hard to get a wedding planned and executed in 6 months!

Ah on this I am an authority, having owned a bridal shop.There are two aspects of this, one is the narrow minded bride who you describe, and then there is the truly vain maids. Do not kid yourself, there are women, big and small that believe they look great in everything. I have seen some real knockout fights among the maids over the style of the dress, like a competition. When you have a broad range of sizes and ages, I used to suggest the same color but each wearing a atyle appropriate to each person. My favorites for this were the 2 piece sets with aline skirts that look good on all sizes and shapes, and then a top that is just slightly different for each one. That worked the best

i had been to few weddings. i saw happy bridesmaid that did not seem to be in a way uncomfortable in their dress. and their dresses seem to fit with their body type even those with quite fat.

When I was still in my teenage years I always refused friends inviting me as bridesmaid to their wedding when I don't like the dress. It is horrifying to stand as bridesmaid when you are not comfortable with your dress. When I get married soon, I will make sure I consulted my bridesmaid what kind of dress they want to wear. So as long as the color is the same with my wedding motiff, style did not matter.

When I got married, my sister was my BM and she chose her favorite color, as I had no preference and would like to let her choose her color of the dress. I once was a BM of my best friend, I can't really remember whether she asked me to choose the color or she chose it for me, anyway, I think the most important girl at her wedding must be SHE, so whatever I could do for her I would do it, that's so-called friendships. I had very good memories in her wedding and nothing is more important than she had her sweet memories in her wedding day.

I had my wedding last year, I understand your predicament and since I don't want to be stressed out with the bridesmaid and the rest of the entourage dresses, I let them choose their design. I just make it sure that we are going to use one color and cloth for all the dresses. I don't want to compromise my relationship with them because of my wedding. I don't want argument and misunderstanding. For me it is more important to save the relationship.

Ugh, I was asked to be a bridesmaid at a friends wedding and she wanted me to spend $280 on this green dress that I would have never worn again. I had to tell her no... I was a single mom at the time and it was not in the budget at all. I thought that it was quite selfish. After I told her no, she became very upset, like I wasn't happy for her. I think that brides seem to think when planning that it is not only the most important thing in their lives, but for everyone else too. The world cannot stop because of a wedding, and the power bill will still be made ;) I am a little bitter about this gal because she is the same one that blasted her marine soon to be husband for buying her purple flowers instead of the roses for $59.99 at Valentines...again. UGH! We don't talk too much anymore, mostly because she was so upset that I didn't sacrifice my sons month of food for her "special day", crazy. Wonder if their still married? lol I think that you should have input if you are paying ;P Good luck.

I know exactly what you're talking about. Some of these dresses around are just horrible! Not just unflattering, but absolutely tasteless to begin with. And the colors! Some people are just not meant to wear a banana-yellow dress, and by some people, I mean most of the human population. However, I have seen some really nice weddings where the bride let her bridesmaids pick a flattering style for them and then the bride picked the color. The bridesmaids in turn tried to get similar styles so they didn't stand out too much in the wedding. How sweet was that?

I'm not a bride however I've been a bridesmaid several times and almost a bridesmaid once. My cousin did really well with making sure that the bridesmaids matched with colour however each of us had our dresses made and they suited our body types a lot better because of that. She also didnt expect us to pay a fortune for our dresses My sister did really well as well...ok mine was a bit small when we got it but i lost weight and we ended up having to make it a touch smaller even. We all looked really good in the dresses she choose - all matching however we were all very similar in body type. My friend the one i was ALMOST a bridesmaid for..went rather bridezilla and insisted that her bridesmaids have these pink atrocities...designed for someone who's a size zero (lets face it im not petite - im more like an 18 than a 0) AND the dress was over 400 dollars. It was the cost of the dress that had me saying I'm sorry hon i just can not afford to be your bridesmaid and it really bugs me that you expect your bridesmaids to pay more than what you paid for your wedding dress. She found someone replace me and i was sorry about not being able to be her bridesmaid, but I really would have been hard put to afford to feed myself, pay bills, get to work AND be a bridesmaid for my sister and her in the same month with the cost of that dress taken out of my pay cheque. I also felt that my sister came before my friend...I was REALLY glad i said i couldnt when she set her wedding date for the same day as my sister's wedding.