Can Life Get Any More Complicated?

I can only tell you what I would do, feel, think, and even know. In my opinion, he doesnt really care. He says he wants his marriage and then plays like this. Another thing is I think he wanted you to find it. Why didnt he just x it out so that it wasnt found by you. I would say move on and go for child support and alimony and start your life over without him. Noone needs someone like that in their life. I know that it is easier said then done but I think of it this way. Would you ever be able to trust him again? Would you feel the same about him? Do you want to live your life always trying to look to see if he is still playing or getting bored or whatever it is he is feeling. I am so sorry that you are going thru this. I told my husband, yours is lucky cause I would have been waking him up and kicking him out!

This is very sad, your marraige was 'destroyed by Facebook'. I am also on facebook but I don't even log on anymore, it is boring. It is supposed to be a good site where family and old friends meet up again, but unfortunately, most people have that person in the past that they think of and go'what if'. Facebook has made it possible now for people to find out 'what if'. My heart is broken for you and your daughter. It can't be easy to just let go. I mean, where do you go, you will be a single mom, devorced woman, and all because your husband behaves like a school kid and fantisise about a 'long lost love.' Devorce is not easy so I wish you all the best, may you find strength and comfort in this time. I will be praying for you. Do your utmost best to warn every woman that you come across to forbid their husbands to use facebook. Don't keep your story quiet, help others by sharing, it might also help you with the healing proccess. many blessings

you need to sit down and talk to your husband and tell him what you saw. I am so sorry you are going thru this. I know it must be so painful. It is hard to judge from that conversation if the flirting he was doing was just limited to on-line or something more serious. Either way, it is something you two need to get out in the open and talk about if you are ever going to turn your relationship around. wishing you the best!

To make life complicated or not is only a choice of ours, so you have to decide whether you want your life to complicate or not, Some one has said this to me once, at that time i was a bit angry to listen to him as he was not going through my situation but later or today when I realise his words he is indeed right, whatever our problem, we are able to solve it just be confident and trust yourself and the rest will do you good, I hope you get through this bad phase, I wish you all the best in life.

I am sorry to hear that you are on the edge of divorce.. Its a rough spot, I have been there myself I was divorce this last year.. I have a three year old son... Can understand all of the thoughts that are running through your head.. The first thing I would have to say is what does your inner heart think? If you found that, is there more? Can I save this marriage? I have a daughter will she be ok if I leave my husband? Honestly you can only answer these questions for yourself..no one else can tell you how to feel.. and what is the right way... because there is no right way... just your way... If he has already moved on in his heart then it would be harder to get him to come back to you... Yes you did do everything right got married and then had your daughter several years later.. Can not explain why its happening to you.. But if you really want to stay with your husband, the best thing you could do is to confront him about what you seen on facebook.. Ya I know thats a tough one.. Seek a marriage counsler, but he is not willing to see professional help, maybe a close friend of both of you, may be able to help the two of you to talk to one another.. Also if at all possible, regardless of how mad you are, DO NOT invovle your daughter...when you are talking to your husband... if you think things may get loud or heated... see if she can stay with a friend friday night.. and just keep those feelings to yourself until then, if that can wait that long... And if the two of you can not work it out, that it is over sit down the both of you, and talk with your daughter.. The first thing a child things when something goes bad, its their fault.. When it is not at all.. and also that you both still love her... also try to talk to you husband about how you too are going to share custdusy of your daughter... then that is not dragged out in court.. the more the two of you can decide between the two of you the less stressful court will be... Good luck to you, and I hope this helps... let me know if you have any other questions I am willing to answer them for you.. Just have to remember if he doesnt want to fix it, then its best to move on, nothing will change it... you can only control your own destiny!! Hugs

Autumrose. we all have problems at some point in time and we all need someone to just listen even if they cannot help us deal with our problems. Sometimes when we speak you would be surprised by how your words can help another person. I don't know if this issue with you and your husband "just started". You know better than any of us here what's been going on in your life all this time. Maybe there are issues that have been floating between you and your husband for a while now that have not been dealt with. You have to decide whether your family (not just your marriage) is worth fighting for and at least try to talk to your husband. He has to do the same because without both of you wanting it, that can be a real probem. Remember you have an 8 year old daughter; it's not just about you and him anymore. I don't know what communication is like between you and him but it all starts with talking and being honest with him about how you feel about everything. If you cannot verbally speak with him, find out what is the best way he communicates; a way that you know you can express your feelings clearly and a way that he will listen. All the best to you whatever the outcome.

Mid-life crisis? Maybe? I don't know. ^_^' In your shoes, I'd try to calm myself and talk plainly and gently with him. Guys tend to spook easier, when talking their minds in relationships, than girls, so I'd try to initiate the conversation in a manner that he couldn't think that he was gonna be yelled at (unless he were to actually say something so awful as to deserve it, like any reasonable conversation)...and try desperately to understand his mind. Even if his mind's effed up, that'd be the only way of discerning whether or not there's any way thing's can or SHOULD be worked out.

I'm very sorry this is happening to you. If he doesn't want to seek counseling and work on the marriage I think you should go because it will help you and your little one to get through this and understand why he is doing this. It will also help you get your life going in another direction. I wish you all the best.

If that happened to me, I'd probably confront my husband about it. Would this be the real reason why he wants a divorce and the huge fight you had was just an opening for him? That hurts, but I believe you need to hear the truth. You're on one side, trying to fix the relationship, but on the other end your partner doesn't seem to want to cooperate. This is the time both of you need to lay all the cards down. I would also suggest you seek counseling if you really want to save the relationship. Good luck.

Wow! I'm so sorry to hear about this. I know what you mean though, it seems like we as women will sometimes plan something out, like you said, the nighty, makeup, etc and it seems like you've done all this for nothing. You know, sometimes you don't know what you have until it's gone. He obviously doesn't appreciate the good woman that he has. Maybe it is time for you to move on. It's hard to say, I know I've been in many of these similar situations before and it's so hard to do what your head says when you are listening to your heart or vice versa. Life is complicated, I guess it just wouldn't be life if it wasn't. Please keep us posted on how things go sweetie, keep your chin up and don't let this man keep you down.

It´s a pitty but you´re not the only one passin for that. I am not married, but had a wonderful relationship with a man that became my best friend. Well, sometime ago I discovered he was with another girl that in the start was just friend but now they are together. I am the one paying for his medicin, I was the one taking care of him all of these years and a girl he met for 2 months and dated for 2 weeks come and puts all into the garbage. I will tell you one thing, you have a family, you were together for a long time, she just wants to do a little f**k and that´s all. Don´t loose your man because of an adventure. Talk to him, try a couple therapy, try anything but don´t let him go that easy if you still love him. That´s it.

Maybe this mariage is not worth saving after all, and doing so would be just for a lost cause. Try to move on as early as now, ignore your husband and live a hppy life without him. Even if he says it's just flirty mail dont go for it. It is still a bad thing to do. Try to go on dates with your friends and see the life outside your married life. Just a suggestion though. Hope all ends well.

hello, I'm don't have any valuable advice for you because it never happen to me before..I can't afford to ignore your story. It makes me wonder will this happen to me too. I heard this similar story before but still I don't know what is the best solution for your situation right now. I hope any mylotter can guide you through this. Be strong okay!

Hi Autumnrose2008 I feel so bad for you. I can not tell you how to feel-I believe your feelings cannot be wrong,especially when they are in your gut.I do know some men like the dirty talk on the computer without cheating on their wives. Maybe he is going through male menopause,the only sure way is to be blunt and honest with your husband and ask him if he is cheating on you or interested in someone else. Seeing HE asked YOU about this vacation I think he is wanting to save your marriage. Maybe you do need a bit of spice to perk things up,we do tend to fall in a routine after being together for so long. Ever thinking about blogging on his Face book page??? Like" I love you" "your wife"? Or better yet---remember the song " I love pina coloadas"? Maybe take a hint from that. I wish you luck, and light

I'm sorry to hear your story. It seems the love between your husband and you no longer like before. I know you still love him but he don't. He's cheating on you! You can try to get him back but for me, cheating is a sin I never forgive. He can forget my birthday or spend more time at work than with me, but not cheating. I'm not in the place to ask you to forget him and start a new life, but you should make a decision on what to do. Whether to save your marriage or just move on.

I'm sorry to hear that. But you have a beautiful 8 year old daughter. In order to your daughter, i think that your don't divorce. We hope everything is ok in the future.