More Lies They Tell Us!!!
By sconibear
@sconibear (8016)
United States
May 21, 2009 2:17pm CST
"They gave me the pink slip" - have you ever been fired?.....have you ever seen anybody get fired?.....was there actually a PINK SLIP involved???
I've never ever seen this alleged pink slip..........why would they give you woman's undergarments when you get fired any ways???
"I got the axe" - see above.......THERE IS NO GIFT GIVING WHEN YOU GET FIRED!!!
it probably wouldn't be a good idea to hand out axes to people you just fired anyways.
"Cuts like butter" - have you ever tried to cut with butter???.....it just mushes in your hand.
"Every dog has it's day" - I looked on the calendar......I didn't see ANY.
"Two heads are better than one" - this one is actually half true, but it only works for men. (if you don't get this joke...think sexually)
"A watched pot NEVER boils" - I've watched it..........it does.
"Work your fingers to the bones" - uuuhh.........EWWWWWWWWWW!!!
"The way to a man's heart is through his stomach" - YEAH!!! if you want to take the long and painful route.....if you have sharp enough butter you could just go through his chest.
anyways, I could go on and on, but you get the point.
go ahead if you have any LIES to add.
why doesn't corn digest??? 
8 people like this
13 responses
@James72 (26790)
• Australia
22 May 09
What are you talking about? Lumberjacks get the axe everytime they START a new job! (I reckon many of 'em wear pink slips secretly on the weekends though, but that's OK)
Every dog DOES have its day and every day IS a dog's day. Why? 'Cos they can lick themselves anywhere they like! Which of course leads us to the TRUE expression that ended up being compromised - "Any head is better than none" 
I'll leave the others be for now because I've just woken up and can't quite think straight yet. But the saying "A rolling stone gathers no moss" is BS. How do they know? They can't be filming Jagger or Richards ALL the time??? Maybe they like to head off into the forest in the early mornings after a long night of debauchery and gather up bucketloads of the stuff! Maybe moss is even the key to their longevity? 
I just watched the pot boil while getting ready to have coffee by the way. I too am sick of all the lies.
I'll leave the others be for now because I've just woken up and can't quite think straight yet. But the saying "A rolling stone gathers no moss" is BS. How do they know? They can't be filming Jagger or Richards ALL the time??? Maybe they like to head off into the forest in the early mornings after a long night of debauchery and gather up bucketloads of the stuff! Maybe moss is even the key to their longevity?
I just watched the pot boil while getting ready to have coffee by the way. I too am sick of all the lies.1 person likes this
@sconibear (8016)
• United States
22 May 09
thank you once again Professor James for showing us that these expressions indeed do have merit.
and of course I knew that a Rolling Stone DOES gather moss.........I've seen their underwear...........don't ask.......
1 person likes this
@mysdianait (66009)
• Italy
21 May 09
Well there is another one that comes to mind
but I've never understood it anyway
and I certainly can't understand whether it's the truth or not 
... A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush
and I certainly can't understand whether it's the truth or not
... A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush @sconibear (8016)
• United States
21 May 09
the way i understand that one is, if there's a bird in the bush, you would probably not be able to catch it as it would just fly off........so if you ALREADY have a bird in your hand, which is obviously already caught.....it is worth 2 in the bush which you probably won't be able to catch.
if you have a shotgun with a big enough spread pattern, all bets are off on this expression. 
if you have a shotgun with a big enough spread pattern, all bets are off on this expression. 1 person likes this
@mysdianait (66009)
• Italy
21 May 09
But when you are your age Robert I would have thought...
oh no never mind 
@riyasam (16556)
• India
23 May 09
do you know the full form of STUPID.afterall what are friends for???
STUPID = Smart Talented Unique Person In Demand
@scarlet_woman (23463)
• United States
22 May 09
"the squeaky wheel gets the grease"
..unless you work on a base,where first someone with a rank has to hear it squeak..
confirm it with others of his rank,that there is a "squeak event"..fill out the complaint in triplicate..file one,lose two..and ask for a grant to study possible consequences of of the "squeak event" for the next 10 years.
i hate dealing with the navy base..
@sconibear (8016)
• United States
22 May 09
don't forget about spending $14,428.61 for a 5 ounce tube of grease. 
1 person likes this
@Little_Stormy (6883)
• United States
22 May 09
ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!! I just spit pepsi through my nose!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
you are a nut!!!!!!
@sconibear (8016)
• United States
22 May 09
*licks pepsi from Stormy's spitting nose*
wanna be my bolt??? 
wanna be my bolt??? 
@guybrush (4658)
• Australia
27 May 09
I'm guessing they'd give you women's underwear as some kind of consolation prize. Maybe it would cheer you up - maybe it wouldn't. At least you could give it to your lady to cheer HER up, as she'd probably be a bit p!ssed off you'd been fired. I know plenty of lies. And plenty of anomalies. Why does vomit always have bits of carrot in it? Even when you don't eat carrot?
@lingli_78 (12822)
• Australia
22 May 09
hi sconi... you never failed to make us laugh here with your funny posts... at this moment, what i can add on to your list is only "killing two birds with one stone"... i don't know how people can managed to do that as killing two birds with two stones is already hard enough and it can be considered as animal cruelty anyway... 
take care and have a nice day...
take care and have a nice day... 
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
21 May 09
Holding head in hands....
They never gave me a slip of any color or an axe either...
@sconibear (8016)
• United States
21 May 09
yeah.....they just "showed me the door" 
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
22 May 09
Dang, at my office they are so cheap they don't even have doors...
@moonlitmagikchild (22181)
• United States
25 May 09
ive never really been fired but i have known several people that have and i have never heard of a pink slip either lol.. makes you wonder where it came from..
what is that one about people laughing their way to the bank?? and crossing your eyes and them getting stuck that way lol.. i cant think of more but it seems life is full of them
@camomom (7535)
• United States
3 Jun 09
I won't tell you anymore lies but I will say that I refuse to eat corn. It just plain scares me. How can you chew something up and swallow it and have it come back out whole and in perfect condition. Ewwww!!!!
@phyrre (2317)
• United States
21 May 09
Lol...you've got a very good point about this. Some of our sayings just don't make sense and I really wonder where they started from. I was just talking to my grandfather the other day when he said "I've got more -insert any word- than Carter's got liver pills" and I was wondering what it would be like in the future if people were still saying that and no one knew who Carter was? Weird.
Good point about not handing out axes when you fire people. That would be a messy situation.
