Disciplining children

The best advice I can give is consistency with such a vague question. If you give him time outs it's best one minute per year. Not only do you need to punish him when he needs it but you need to do it every time for the same actions. What do you mean how he reacts and gets angry? You might have a bigger problem than you think. If you don't discipline consistently I can see why he would get angry because you let him get away with it previously so why can't he do it now? If you do discipline every time he does the same thing you may want to discuss this with a pediatrician. Kids are going to get mad and pout, cry if they get in trouble. They don't want to be in trouble they want to do whatever they want to do. That reaction may be normal or it may not. Depends on the circumstances.

Parenting is hard work. We are not born as parents so there a number of skills we have to try out on our children and see which one works. There are two priciples to note when discipling a child. 1. You are preparing the child for life. 2. It is not cheap "love" you are working to achieve. With this in mind as parents we ought to take a stand. When the child does something wrong confront him and explain to him. ALWAYS take the same stand on the same issue is he is VERY CLEAR that this is you position. Children want consistency and reaasurance. He can also be spanked on his bottom, but not in anger. Children need boundries. Do not be afraid to be stern. Most psychologist said that for children having a boundry is an aspect of love. Do not feel as though if you give freedom you are showing love. This is not true. I am reminded of a story that I will share. A young man was in prison and he called for his mother and ask her to bend down and he bit her on ear and told her that she caused him to be there. note this admonition 'Train up a child in the way he should grow so that when he is old, he will not depart from it.'I am a parent who have grown children and I have heeded what I am sharing. Happy Parenting!

With my stubborn youngest, I found the key was not punishment but discipline. Punishing makes someone suffer for what they did. Discipline teaches them not to do it! Also, "make the punishment fit the crime" however you can work that in...if he doesn't do a chore, let him suffer the consequences. Did he forget to wash the vegetables as he was supposed to? Wash everyone's but his. If he won't eat it, tough. He learns what happens when his blows off a chore. If he has a smart mouth and talks back to you, take him away from polite company till he is ready to change. Not to a cozy room full of toys, but a very boring place. I hope this gives you some idea of how I worked it. Be sure he knows you don't want to punish him but teach him so that he will have the best life possible.

You really should check out www.loveandlogic.com. It is a treasure trove of good techniques and guidance. You can get the book [there is one for small children and another for teens]from www.amazon.com. Great insight. Anger is very common. He doesn't know how to react probably and needs to be walked through it sometimes. Love and logic helped me so much. I hope you will check it out.

when i was growing up i totally hated the way i got disciplined. i wasn't hit or whatever but it is the cold treatment that i would get and the scolding that bothered me. my mom wasn't demonstrative and since i grew up with my father abroad ever since i was 5 years old this cold treatment and scolding wasn't balanced with a hug or kind talk afterwards. when i was growing up and took up psychology in college i realized that those missing hugs and kind words would've made a lot of difference. we were 5 in the brood and my mother, being the only one left to look after us, cannot afford the luxury of a little demonstrativeness of her affections. when i graduated from college and had been in demand in many jobs belonging to different fields i got to realize that mom didn't do a bad job after all. now, my toddler gets the same scolding and cold treatment for only about 15 minutes (i couldn't bear it) and the hugs, kisses, jokes and warm talks afterwards .

don't impose or restrict up on him wright from this age.. there time for everything so.... have fun cheers..

you have to be consistent, for example if he doesn't want to go to bed, pick him up put him to bed, he comes out, pick up up put him back to bed, he comes out 50 times, do it fifty times until he realizes he is not going to win, it is a battle of wills and you have to win not him, or you will always have a discipline problem, don't give in, but then the following night, same bed time, and do it fifty times again if you have to, don't say I am too tired to do this to night, so I will let him stay up, wrong, wrong, wrong, you have just taught he to continue doing this charade until he wins, in school he will get consistency, there are rules that have to be followed.

I think all kids go through a stage where they are really trying to test their parents and see their reaction to things they do. What can we get away with today? Handling things as they happen instead of waiting is always the best thing to do. Even if your shopping. We use the buggy as a time out if they start acting up. Yes you will get looks but trust me their kids have had meltdowns before also. They are just seeing how you handle it. Let him know what he has done wrong and why you have punished him. We are their teachers and they don't know how to act unless we teach them right from wrong. Also make him apologize. When my kids hit each other I make them go sit in time out they are pretty young so its for a short time and if they want to come out they must apologize give a hug and a kiss to one another and if its one of us they have to do the same. Kids learn so much from our actions at very young ages. Talking to him and telling him what he has done after he throws his fit in time out is the best thing.

Five year old children are learning to test boundries, that are old enough to know what they can and can not get away with it and they are going are going to push it with their parents. What we parents need to do is be just as effective as they are. Always back up your threats, that is the most important thing. I always give my son one warning to stop doing something (he is 5 as well). If he does not he goes in time out. He does not like this so usually just the threat of it will have him snap to right away, because he knows I will do it. And time out means sitting in a specific place for 5 minutes and not talking. If your son is not accustomed to this you might have to sit next to him the first couple of times, and make sure he stays put, and remind him to be quiet if he talks to let him know this is a punishment for his actions. You must be very firm, and don't break down, even if you have to seem mean for that 5 minutes. This is very necessary. Then after the 5 minutes you can cuddle him and talk to him about what he did wrong, and make sure he realizes that is why he was punished. Five year old children do not like to sit still, they don't like to be quiet and they don't like it when mommy or daddy are firm with them. They don't like time out. If you do time out properly, just the mere threat of it should get him behaving after you have followed through with it for a couple of times. But you always have to back up your threats, if you tell him if he does something one more time he will go in time out and he does it again, you must follow through and do it. Very, very important. You need to let him know that it is you and not he that is in charge. Best of luck to you.

Well I have a 3 year old whom dont listen to NOTHING.And Seems to think hes always right when hes not and he'll back talk you faster than you can get anything out of your mouth usually. But when this is being down i'll let him say what he needs to then put him in time out which he hates and cant stand but he'll have to sit for however long i tell him to and i set a timer and when the timer gos off he can get up but not until then. Of course hes been poped on the butt but he just laughs about that so no point in doing that. So we've decided to start talking things he likes away and putting them up which that has worked very well too so those are the two things i do and they seem to work for me.

I am thankful for you positive response. I like how you took it. Please weight the views and ask God for his guidance.

hey, thanks for taking the time in choosing me as having the best response.

Hello we have a 4 year old and a 6 year old, and kids will always test the boundary with all figures of authority just so they know what they can get away with. The best advice buy, or borrow the book or video 123 Magic, it is wonderful you will be amazed at the turn around, no more frustration just learning how to warn your children that their current behaviour is unacceptable and calmly allowing them the chance to change it. Good luck and persevere as once there is good discipline structre ife feels so much more pleasant!

i don't know if this will help but on the BBC there's a programme where a children's psychologist goes to peoples houses and helps parents out with their kids behaviour. she always tells parents to encourage good behaviour of their kids by telling them how good they are and giving them lots of attention or giving them stickers, etc when they behave well. But when the kids behave badly she tells them to completely ignore the child such as if the kid won't go to sleep you don't go back and tell them to go to bed because that makes them think that they will get attention for bad behaviour.

There are so many different things to try and it is up to the parent to figure out which they are comfortable with and which they feel works best for them. I am still a firm believer in spankings, but many frown on that anymore. There is nothing against a firm swat on the bottom to let a child know that you mean business when you tell them something. Others use a time out, whether in the corner, on a stair away from the tv and toys, in a bedroom---which isn't always good, since the toys are there, or next to an adult if they are doing something that they can sit next to them. My daughters and niece also take things away from them that they enjoy.....time watching tv, on the computer playing games, treats, going outside to play, certain favorite toys, etc. For temper throwing, sometimes it is best to just walk away and ignore it, even though that is sometimes very difficult to do. With him going to school soon, it is importand that he is disciplined now or his school years could be very difficult for him with the teachers.........trust me, I know, as a retired teacher who dealt with many discipline problems from special needs students!! Good luck bamakelly, and I am sure that you will figure it out since you are aware now that there might be some concern. That is a beginning in solving the problem!!

I've raised 4 good boys! They were all as different as day and night, and we enjoyed every moment of it. My first suggestion would be, do not let your child change your life. The first one is difficult because you have to learn as you teach. " Coming down,"on your child is not always the right thing. Try to think of him as a small adult with all the rights and privileges that you enjoy. Always let him know when you are not pleased, and try to work it out, before "coming down," on him. Most kids will do the right thing, especially if there is something in it for them. A Tantrum is Easy. Just ignore it completely and it will soon go away. ( A tantrum is very hard work, after the first few minutes!)

i raised 2 boys by myself but that doesn't make me an expert for sure. i do know that u have to start early w/making them mind. it hurts u to do it but u have to. u can't let a child get the upper hand or you'll lose them as far as trying to make them mind as they get older. u need to start early w/doing that. i know u don't want him mad at u etc. but he will get over it.

The best punishment I have found for small boys it to sit them on a cushion (I put my nephew on the couch) In a quiet room. The TX has to be off, no radio, no distractions. And he has to sit still for 3-5 minutes. This works for me because I can be cleaning that room or have him in my line of sight for that amount of time. If he talks or wiggles to much I will add time. I also use the timer on the stove to keep track of the time because other wise I would either be to soft and let him up early or forget and make him sit for to long. When the time is up I always go to him and get to his height (so that he knows I mean business) and I ask him if he knows what he did wrong (some times he does not and so I explain it to him again) and I ask him if he is going to do it again. (they always say no). Then I tell him that if he does do it again he will sit for longer. The room must be quiet because it forces them to settle down. I hope this helps, I know that it works wonders for me when I have my neices and nephews (ages 4-13). Kids are not used to being still and quiet, I think that is why it is so successful.

Hi bamakelly, You are not alone almost everybody have to go with what your experiencing now especially the first time parents. Disciplining children is not actually spanking them or putting them in the corner or room. What you first need to do is to ask wisdom from the Lord, seek His word and always pray for you and your child. The biggest problem is if the parent lost their temper and was push to the limit and might do things that they will regret like beating their kids. You need to talk with your children settle an agreement and set rules and regulation. And agree on what punishment both of you want. Discipline start at the younger age and if a child learns that you are really serious or really mean what you say then they will behave. Don't be afraid to discipline a child now is the right time don't wait for too late. Thanks, can we be friend?

Kid listen better to other authorities than they do to they parents. You just need to punish him by putting him in time-out when he does something he shouldn't. Do not back down no matter how angry he gets. If time-out does not seem to be working than take a privelege away from him. He maybe only 5 years old but he will learn what he can and can not do if you not back down.