He chickened out! Have you ever chickened out of having surgery?

I have survived open-heart surgery last May 2004, for a mitral valve replacement. I didn't have second thoughts going through it, I just prayed fervently and leaving all my concerns in the hands of the Lord. If thy will I will live, I said to myself. I'm supposed to wake up 2 days after the surgery but I managed to recover for only 3 hours, so the time I woke up I'm all numb, I can hardly feel anything even my fingers. I can't even help myself see the ceiling or nod or hold a ballpen to communicate what I need. I didn't feel scared coz I have my whole family, relatives and friends praying for my welfare. I'm really overwhelmed at that time coz they are all there. Do you trust the surgeon? or the medical team? if yes, then there's no reason to be scared they are well rounded and gained much experience. Ask them how many cases of such illness have they dealt with and the success rates. Inform your husband about the urgency of the surgery if its the only way.

So sorry to hear about the difficult situation for your husband. May I ask what type of survery it was? Was it minor or major surgery? Would he have been under anesthesia, which I'm sure would have made it even more frightening as anything can always go wrong. Was it going to be a long recovery road? Has he stamped his foot on it firmly, as in canceled ALL of the surgeries he is in need of, or just one or two of them needed? I have never chickened out as in stopping when able to do it, but before surgery before, I had come down with a cold or didn't feel well, then my doctors canceled it immediately for extra safety. Any downside or weakness before surgery can be very risky. I would highly recommend that he joins a support group. If that's hard, then find a group or even message board for him yourslef (so you can find and scan for positive remarks before he sees negatives) where many people have already experienced and gone through similar operations. Best of luck to you and your husband!

I have never chickened out of any surgery bu sure yeah they are scary and can be something scary to deal with. But knowing what he was told about what was wrong and what needed to be done to fox it, he should tried to go and have it done. He isn't helping himself or you and his daughter by not listening to the doctors. He has taken his life into his own hands and the results just might not turn out like he thinks or wants. You are right God helps those who help themselves or try to help themselves. States that in the bible I know. SO yea it could be taken as giving up. I just hope he comes to his senses and if the doctor does forgive him for not showing up, maybe he can get it rescheduled. Maybe have his preacher talk to him...might be what he needs.

I'm not sure what type of advice to offer here wildcat as it seems your Husband is not only afraid, but very pig headed too! Forgive me for saying so, but he needs to stop being so selfish and think about those around him, not just himself. Putting our faith in God is certainly not a bad thing, but common sense also prevails! Maybe trying to tell your Husband that God provided the Doctor and these procedures will help? I really don't know, but I do hope that for the sake of ypou and your family, your Husband snaps out of this mindset because it's not a wise one at all. You're all in my thoughts and may many blessing come your way to help you all through this time. I've only had the one internal surgery before and that was having my appendix out. I was only a child at the time so didn't really have any choice in the matter! There's no way I'd back out of a surgery that could mean the difference between living and dying, not if I was in the earlier stages of a problem anyway. If I was told that a surgery would only buy me a few weeks or something, then I might reconsider and not go ahead. It all depends on the circumstances and the potential outcomes. Risk factors and the chances of success would play a part in my decision too.

Wow I am sorry to hear that your husband chickened out of his surgery. I am lucky the only surgery I've had was my wisdom teeth. I couldn't skip that because I was in so much pain but I was so scared to go in there. If I had to have a major surgery I would probably be VERY scared but I would go through with it because the whole point of surgery is to help you get better. I wish you and your family luck and I hope that your husband changes his mind. And you are right, men can be so stubborn I can never convince my boyfriend to go to the doctor when he is sick.

I am such a chicken when it comes to any surgery, I even change my doctor appointments at least once before I finally go. But your husband is having some serious issues and should really reconsider. I hope it works out.

i have never skipped out on surgery or any tests. fortunately, we are here in canada and most medical procedures are free. i have had some day surgery over the years and of course c sections for my daughters as well as a partial hysterectomy, but nothing serious. the thing is, you can cajole, demmand, suggest etc but he is still an adult and has to ultimately make his own decision.

Do you have time to back off and let him think about this? Maybe do some more research. Part of the problem of facing life threatening situations that is so hard for men is the lack of control over their own bodies. They have not been conditioned like women have, very early we learn that our bodies do what they want without our permission. My husband went through about 3 years of one surgery after another and it was only his wonderful attitude towards life that kept him at it. Because he did this he has had many more years of life that is near normal. Do you have any male friends or even a support group that could help your Hubby. Call your hospital or Doctor's office and ask for a group if you don't already know of one. Blessings to you both and remember we each can only live our own life.