Your BEST friend betrayed you .. what would you do ?!?!
By YazEid
@YazEid (1139)
Philippines
June 2, 2009 2:32pm CST
There were two guys , who once I considered them my best friends , they were even closer than my brothers to me , we used to hang out always together , and spend most of our times together , when we wanted to have fun it was always together , and when we wanted to go abroad to visit other country it was also together.
Now , I don't know what changed them , they are hanging together leaving me alone , they have their own plans which am not included in , simply we are not as we used to be .
what made me really angry that one of our colleagues came to me today and asked me something which was secret and the only two know about it were my two guys , I ignored him and didn't let him know that it was a secret .. but I really feel frustrated and betrayed.
I revised all my actions , looking for any mistake I have done in the past that could be the cause for their actions .. but truly I didn't find anything that could lead to something like this !!
Know I really don't know what to do !! how should I continue with them , and how should I treat them . I used really to like them .. but now I don't know how I feel ..
Do you think this is something that will pass and we will be together as we used to be , or should I continue without them and forget the good things that were between us ?!?!
6 people like this
20 responses
@tpayne33 (52)
• United States
3 Jun 09
I think the best thing you can do is sit down with you friends and talk about the situation. If you have some sort of confusion in how they really feel about you, talking it over with them is the best way to resolve what is going on. Granted, you may not like what they have to say,but you will have a better understanding of how the feel about you and you know where they stand.
3 people like this
@Gwapako_28 (2140)
• Philippines
3 Jun 09
I guess, i will talk to her first and ask her why and whats the reason she betrayed me. If she got valid reason maybe i will understand and forgive her. But if isn't... Nah, thats a different story then.
3 people like this
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
3 Jun 09
I think you need to be honest with them and come right out and ask them when all 3 of you are together. JUst tell them pretty much what you have told us here. Maybe you have just grown apart or maybe there is a real reason for their behavior or maybe it is just something that they don't realize they are doing.
2 people like this
@becnh83 (806)
• Philippines
3 Jun 09
no....the friendship that youve build was already root to each one of you...youve been for a long years and you cant find a friend like them dont let this argue continous and fall cut the friendship off do something to make the friendship build again...first you will confront them on what is happening to bith of them and why they kick you off the group, talked to them and if you done wrong accept it and apologized of what you done to them, sorry and dont stop it until they accept your apology.......its very hard to find a true friend.....my friend.......
happy posting
2 people like this
@Archie0 (5652)
•
3 Jun 09
There is nothing that i can do.many times my friends have betrayed me badly, my very best friend had betrayed me long time ago when i was in grade 4th due to some kidish reasons i dont remember now the reason but i remember she was my best friend, many times there were chances where we clashed to each other face to face,i tried to smile at her politely and even talk to her forgetting everything but she gave me stranger look as if she doesnt know me...but lately when i was in grade 10th i got a very nice friend and we are best friends till now but be far somehow and meet very often, we share everything.Now i think that the more we are far our relation is strong. touch wood.
@chapstek (85)
• Philippines
3 Jun 09
Hey there YazEid! Good day to you! Well, first and foremost, I do not think that you can consider someone as your BEST friend if he or she has the tendency to betray you and let your friendship go to waste. I think that if he or she is a real BEST friend, he or she does not have the tendency or does not even have the thinking of betraying you because for me, BEST of friends does not betray each other through good times and bad times. I think what you should do YazEid is to forget your friendship with that person because on what he or she did, he is the one who forget you friendship. :)
2 people like this
@YazEid (1139)
• Philippines
3 Jun 09
Hi Chapstek , good day for you too ..
I know that it shouldn't occur that way , and when I considered them as my best friends I have no doubt that they would ever change , and I gave them my full trust , but unfortunately it appeared that I were wrong .
Thanks for passing by Chapstek
@jayrene (2708)
• Philippines
2 Jun 09
well, first i think you try and talk to your friends, and find out what had mde them change their attitude towards you. there would be something that had happened that made them feel that way to you. find that out. try to fix it first, but if when doing that they still are not close to you, then i think its time for you to find other friends to hang out with.
if my best friend betrays me i will surely be not a friend to that person anymore. im the kind of person that if you dont like me, then fine, there's no point in continuing the relationship anymore.
1 person likes this
@YazEid (1139)
• Philippines
2 Jun 09
Thank you Jayrene , I know that it might be the time to change but i still hold feelings and respect to what were between us ..
you know .. if this has happened with anyone else other than those two guys I wouldn't have cared for the whole issue , I would just forget them and forget that I knew them ever in my life .
@girl_unwell (9)
• Philippines
3 Jun 09
I totally understand how you feel,been in a situation like that as well.Just respect them for what they want.Im sure they will realize that in the end,(that they betrayed you)...that's what friends are for,right?(being always there to listen and understand)...if they ignore you forever,well they're not worth keeping for...as long as you're not doing anything wrong..you can basically sleep well at night...
@xarex777 (467)
• Philippines
3 Jun 09
Hi..
I guess everyone will always meet someone that's a betrayer/hypocrite in their life.
I met someone like that before too.
There's someone in my class now who's like that too.
But she's more of a backstabber. she likes to have issues with everyone.
Even when someone breaks up with another person, she called that person "cheap".
It's like not even her problem. People talk to her best friend for a while. She accused people of ignoring her and etc. She blabs it to everyone. Like projects/work, she will do everything and don't let us do then she goes around and saying we didn't do anything.
She's like having kind of attitude problem and acts like she got a whole bunch of backup when in fact her clique/group of friends hate her to the core. And she can still go around saying "I got a lot of friends & supporters ok?! so you don't haolian and watch out."
1 person likes this
@Lxia2009 (12)
• United States
3 Jun 09
Sometimes it is hard to trust no one but as you get older you will find that most people are only looking out for them selves and that they will play games with your head rather they know they are doing it or not. It maybe your friends got tired of you being needy. Please don't take this negatively but if you can't get passed this and make new friends then maybe you are asking too much of the friendship.
There also may be other reasons such as 3 is a crowd.
Could it be money? Did you always pay your share?
Did you run to your friends with every drama going on in your life?
Lastly why don't you just ask them what is wrong? If they were truly your friends they will tell you.
@xoxcharityxox (567)
• United States
2 Jun 09
I think you should just follow your instincts. Sometimes people just slowly drift away from eachother because they grow and change. It may not be anything you did, but you may begin to just have more differences and not get along as well. If you are really bothered by it then talk to them about how you feel. I know that's not easy for some guys to do, but it might at least make them aware of how you feel. If you guys want to remain friends it will all work itself out. If not, don't be bothere. Just move on and find new friends who don't make you feel that way.
1 person likes this
@YazEid (1139)
• Philippines
2 Jun 09
I really don't want our relation to collapse , I tried to talk to them about it many times , but never got the right opportunity , either they were busy or they don't wanna talk about it ..
I know that when we grow up we change , but we are grown up already , and we used to be at the same environment; if we are going to change it should be similar for the three of us ..
thanks for passing by
1 person likes this
@javillin1 (2)
• United States
3 Jun 09
in my opinion i think its best to first figure out whats is going on. Maybe you did something or they thought you did something. Remember, your feelings affect your emotions, your emotions affect your thoughts your thoughts affect your actions and your actions affect their feelings which affects their emotions that affects their thoughts which affects their actions which affects your feelings.............. its a cycle. If they don't want any thing to do with you any more, keep open arms for them, but move on with your life.
Its also like a cycle of poverty or a cycle of wealth but instead its the cycle of emotions.
@rojemn (1)
• Philippines
3 Jun 09
for me just let them do what are they planning. It's really hard to accept the truth if you are no longer part of their dreams maybe the secret is the reason of their changes just a hint but if they truly treasured your friendship the misunderstanding can still be settle by talking to them. everyday life changes in different reason you now them better and you understand them for the sake of friendship set them free time well also heal all the pain time only can tell if they will return. True friends can find anywhere, anytime. saying them as your best friend is not worth it a true best friend understand you and also ready to give his/her life to his best friend even if turn to be your worst enemy. hope this help you to set your mind at ease a lot of people looking for their true best friend maybe we are here!!!
2 people like this
@kaykay0923 (26)
• United States
2 Jun 09
even though you are physically grown up, it doesnt mean that you arent done growing as a person. I believe you should try to talk to them individually and see if there is a specific issue that they are having with you that they may not feel comfortable bringing up otherwise. If they continue to refuse to talk to you about this, then as hard as it may seem, you may have to move on and find new friends. you should still treat them with the same respect you would want to be treated with. my previous best friend and i stopped speaking over a difference of opinions that greatly influenced my own life. we tried to hang out again about a year or so later, but it just wasnt the same. sometimes there are people in our lives who are only meant to be there for a specific journey. and by the sound of it, you all had quite the time together. dont look back on it with negativity. appreciate the times you shared and find new people to make better memories with. you deserve a friend who will keep your confidence and trust
1 person likes this
@YazEid (1139)
• Philippines
2 Jun 09
I agree with you that personality grows every day , but as I said earlier , we are in the same environment , we used to spend most of our times together so the growing should be at least similar if not the same.
You are right , some people are only meant to be there for a specific journey , specific period of time ...
Thank you KayKay , it is really appreciated
@subha12 (18441)
• India
3 Jun 09
It may be they are having some problem with you. Try asking them why they are doing so. there can be some misunderstanding between you and the friends.Plus there are many cases the person you thought best friend back stab you and desert you. it happened to me. I can never forgive him.
@royal52gens (5488)
• United States
3 Jun 09
People outgrow each other. That is normal. It might be time to develop a new best friend. Experience has taught you to keep secrets to yourself. Take some time to sort your feelings. Then you will know if you want the friendship to continue or not.
@misshoney (973)
• Philippines
3 Jun 09
hello yazeid. any form of betrayal and from any person is painful, so if it comes from someone close to you like a bestfriend then that would really hurt, i think i have experienced that once. a friend cheated with me because she got together with a boyfriend without her telling me. I was really pissed off because she had to do it behind my back. that proves she is not really a friend i can trust and since then had not communicated with her. anyway in your case, i really don't think that your bestfriend had betrayed you., maybe you just need to have a long talk with both of them.
@snowy22315 (179771)
• United States
3 Jun 09
I have had that experience several times with people. I hate it when friends drift away. You could try to be honest with them, but they might not be honest back with you. Sometimes things happen without a good reason. I guess that you may never really know the real reason it happend.
@zzyw87 (1254)
• Philippines
3 Jun 09
First of all, you need to have an honest and open talk with them. Say and ask everything you can think of. You should all air out your sides and opinions. After hearing what they say for their recent actions, then you can decide if you really want to still keep the friendship. Don't rush decisions or else you may regret your actions. Keep an open mind and hear their side first. Maybe they just want to have a guy bonding time. Maybe they think you won't understand or maybe they can relate to each other more.
@3orabi (529)
• Jordan
3 Jun 09
I would do nothing , I will just leave him and pretend that I have never met him , because this who betrayed me does not deserve any respect from me or respect for anything was between us , I know that it seems hard , but you can try with them , if it worked out , that's good , if it didn't then you should follow my way .
enjoy mylotting
