When angry, do you use mute withdrawal to show that you are?
By sharksfin
@sharksfin (1091)
Philippines
June 4, 2009 12:10pm CST
Am not the type of person who would talk a lot or would put up a fight. My way of showing that someone did me something wrong is by putting up a cold war. I'd be aloof for sometime until the person involved realizes that he/she has done me something wrong. This is not such a good way to do it but I simply just don't want to lose my temper and say nasty words. Gossip is not also my way of revenge. I find it effective for me since I think whoever did me something not nice gets to realize that he/she might have done a thing that offended me, then they'd start coming to me and asking me what's wrong. That's the only time I'd talk. But, by the time they confront me, my anger has all been gone. It's really a good thing as I don't have to say anything rude or harsh and the conversation will be very calm. Nice strategy?
12 responses
@UK_Shree (3603)
•
4 Jun 09
I think that is quite a good way of preventing yourself from saying hurtful things which unfortunately can never be taken back. I personally always try and confront the person, but in a calm and mature way. If they fail to understand or see things from my point of view, then I do tend to give them the silent treatment as they are being unreasonable and I would rather not waste my energy.
@sharksfin (1091)
• Philippines
4 Jun 09
I salute you for being mature enough to confront people in a calm way. It takes a lot to do that, y'know. I mean, am peaceful by nature but there are times it's just so hard to control the tongue. Keep it up.
@Guitarpunk (738)
• United States
4 Jun 09
Ahh, silent treatment huh? Very smart :). That works very well on people.
@rainmark (4302)
•
5 Jun 09
That's nice strategy or yours but if you encounter the person who have no sense of emotion and stupid i think it doesn't work, but atleast it's a peaceful figth and not lossing your morality and be rational.
In my case, i do this strategy sometimes,and it helps to calm the sitaution. I find it better than cat fighting.
@pratyushtamhankar (859)
• India
5 Jun 09
Ya I keep quiet too. I think if there's a quarrel, the more somebody talks the more the quarrel will increase. So i just keep quiet. My gf knows that when I keep quiet, I'm hurt and its because of her. I don't mind other people being rude to me cause most of them don't matter to me, but when she's rude to me, it really pierces my heart so i keep quiet. And it works too 
. After some time she comes near me and says sorry, and then I say sorry too. And then we hug 
and thats the end of the tiff...
. After some time she comes near me and says sorry, and then I say sorry too. And then we hug and thats the end of the tiff...
@charlenmendoza (922)
• Philippines
5 Jun 09
before i confront them and i tend to say words that will hurt and then later on i will feel guilty and in the end i will say sorry but i learned my lesson. now what i do is keep quite let her talked and then after she talked and i feel that i am in so much anger, i walked out. When i feel that im ready to talked in a calm and mature way, thats the time i will talked to the person involved and settle everything. But if i feel that there is no used of talking, i just let it pass and never brought up again.
@YaYaMom (70)
• United States
5 Jun 09
I am not sure what you mean exactly by mute withdrawel! I take it you mean that you don't say anything to the person who has wronged you and you just walk away? I myself most never get angry. But I am honest and without anger just tell that person how I feel. Most people will respect you and how you feel by just telling them casually without anger what you are feeling. Makes for some really great discussions also! I dont feel that not saying anything and withdrawing is the best thing unless you feel that you might hurt someone physically then yes withdrawel and leaving is the best thing to do. We all have our own different ways of reacting to wrongs done to us. How do other people feel about this?
@antisociality (163)
• Philippines
5 Jun 09
I also don't like to talk when I'm angry at someone too. Sometimes it works for me, sometimes it don't. There are times that I don't at all want to talk to the ones that did me wrong, they irritate me that I can't even bother to look at them.
@glesil_00 (1142)
• Philippines
4 Jun 09
When i am angry i show it thru keeping quite and do not talk no matter what kind of asking someone will try to do. There is a big reason when i got angry and because i tend to speak frank and hurting words when i am angry, i choose not to speak out.I am not really comfortable of expressing this emotion openly and i still hold on until i am cool and anger subsides for some time.
@arashichan (24)
• Philippines
5 Jun 09
Yeah, I also didn't like to talk when I was angry. My boyfriend never liked it when I was just silent when he knew I was mad of something, worse at him. Although I didn't talk, my actions told him that I wasn't really in good mood. He wanted to talk to me and sort things out immediately, but I preferred to stay silent first and contemplate about the situation. I actually talked to him that he shouldn't talk to me when he knew I wasn't in good mood, or else he'd just end up being upset. However, when I already talked, I was no longer mad or sour, but me being silent would just take an hour, so my boyfriend should not worry a lot. ;)
@zzyw87 (1254)
• Philippines
5 Jun 09
Yes, it is a very nice strategy. That is exactly what I do when I am angry. Like you, I am the type of person who becomes cold toward the person I am angry with. I don't shout and make noise when I am angry. I just snob the person who pissed me off. Then I cool down for a few hours or days. Saying spur-of-the-moment words just makes things worse. That is why I avoid confrontations when I am mad because I might say something hurtful.
@ShakeShake (1)
• United States
4 Jun 09
I myself seem to use the silent treatment a lot, mostly on my partner, however, this method does have a down side. The problem is when I do decide to talk it's more cursing than English grammar. The punishment that she suffers usually doesn't fit the crime...reason being is because she is catching all the heat from previous situations, some of which, didn't even involve her. I have started to work on communicating better because it's unhealthy to hold things in because when you finally release it, it usually comes out all wrong.
