friend problem
By Mathiaes
@Mathiaes (91)
Denmark
June 4, 2009 3:26pm CST
so I have this problem..I had a girlfriend a little while ago, she had been having something going on with this guy and she was really mean to me the last couple of weeks we were together, so we broke up, so the problem is now, that I'm going to a festival in 3 weeks called Roskilde Festival with my friends, but my friends are also taking my x, so I told them I'm still not on speaking-terms with her yet, so my friends told me it's too bad for me, because she's going, now I don't really have anyone but myself to go with..I don't really know how to tackle this kind of problem
3 people like this
9 responses
@mandeep1010 (9)
• India
5 Jun 09
hey man i will be completly honest then ur friend are not good friends and in future don`t rely on them that much cause they are ready to leave their frnd behind and take hi x with em . i know u must be fellin lonely and u may wanna skip this festival but keep ur head up f**k the past and enjoy the festivs and get urself sm new frnds
@x_Jo_x (1040)
•
6 Jun 09
Is talking to her again such a bad thing? It might hurt and be awquad but at least it gets it out the way and situations like this might not occur again. On the other had, dont let your friends make you see her. Only do that if you feel its right for you. Going on your own without them wouldnt be very fun, and the chances are you will still see them accross the room and there will be that moment when you look in her eyes for a split second and you both know you are avoiding each other. So maybe it would just be better to go and get it over with as long as it wont spoil your day too much. But as i say, do whats best for you.
I dont ever plan on seeing my ex again so im one to talk lol, but different situation all together!
@Mathiaes (91)
• Denmark
7 Jun 09
but it's not because that it's awkward, It's because she's been really mean to me and I'm really mad at her, so I don't want to be forced talking to her by people who is my "friends"..But I found some other people to go with so that problem is solved..but yes, I will most likely see her, and that's not a problem, the problem would be if I should go with her to the festival, its a week where we would live together
@chickiepie (42)
• United States
5 Jun 09
Well if you don't want to be around her, then maybe it is best that you go separate from them. Sound like to me that they aren't true friends. True friends would respect your opinion and stick by you.
@sid556 (30959)
• United States
5 Jun 09
That's not true at all. Maybe they were her friends too. Maybe they were just trying to be fair to both. It looks like they invited both of them and just did not want to take sides. They respected him by letting him know that she would be there and then he could decide whether or not he could handle being in the same setting with her yet. I think they were very respectful of his feelings ....and hers. They are wonderful friends.
@sid556 (30959)
• United States
5 Jun 09
Because it is a fairly recent breakup and because I do understand your friends who are also her friends...not wanting to take sides, I'd just back off and not go if i were too uncomfortable to handle it. Obviously your friends are sending out the message that they want to be friends with both of you. She was probably also aware that you'd be invited and she chose to accept anyway. She obviously has moved on. I wouldn't take this personal at all. You just are still not over the breakup enough for this sort of get together. Your friends are not trying to leave you out...they just like both of you and don't want to take sides.
@underdogtoo (9579)
• Philippines
5 Jun 09
Life is full of interesting things like this. We never get anything handed to us in a tidy manner with ribbons on it. I guess you are learning a little more and you need to learn more skills in order to make your life better. Cheers!!
@rrdj71 (696)
• United States
4 Jun 09
I have always opted out of staying friends with my ex's friends because of these type of awkward situations. I have had to sacrifice a couple of good friendships but I prefer peace of mind. On the other hand, you should not have to stop going to certain places to avoid the situation, just go at a different time it that is possible or if you have someone on the inside that can tell you when she is there or not. Good luck!!
@BlueGoblin (1829)
• United States
5 Jun 09
Make new friends. Problem solved.
Friends are only friends if they stick up for you. I dumped all my friends when they tried to double cross me or made jokes behind my back to look cool. I don't need people like that in my life. Your situation is a little different because your ex is friends with your friends. You're just going to have to deal with it because your friends don't want to take sides. However, I think they did and you're out. So I'd make some new friends and try to make them all smoking hot females. Good luck!
@thedaddym (1731)
• United States
5 Jun 09
Do you think you can handle being around her with out bad feelings, or having romantic feelings around her? What I am saying is it possible to be friends with her amongst the group, or can you hang out with your friends and just not talk to her personally, include her group conversations, but not engage her personally, other words just simply be civil with her. Maybe you can still go with all of your friends if you think that you can be civil, and just treat her like one of the gang.
@kaykay0923 (26)
• United States
5 Jun 09
first of all, they're not that great of friends if they'd put you in such an uncomfortable situation. with that being said, if you truly can't be around her and it would be unbearable difficult, then find someone(perhaps another girl) to go with. you have 3 weeks. it could be a co-worker even. just go with someone even just as friends.
if it's not so bad that you can stand to be around her, then just go and have the best time that you can. don't let another person affect your ability to do something you want. she has already affected your life with the way she treated you, don't let her dictate your future:)
@LoveLifeAmnesia (8)
• United States
5 Jun 09
I think you should just go. Don't ruin your plans and change your life because of her actions. Be respectful and stay positive. If she's not receptive or acts immature your friends will see her for what she really is and side with you. Don't avoid having fun because you think it will be uncomfortable.
Thanks!! Love Life Amnesia
