Life in Big City

I can appreciate the way you felt after overhearing those girls on the bus, it is that kind of attitude that has put men off being gentlemen and it is so sad that a nice gesture can't be appreciated but taken advantage of instead, shame on them.

Hi paula, Yes things have gone out of window and i dont know if it is for better or not but thats the fact. I dont know why it happened but if i try to analise it then i find girls are atleast themselves made men do it.. sometimes when man makes a gesture and a small comment from girl can make him not do it again ever like when i was in 12th and didnt have m y own vehicle i would take a local bus to school and since i boarded it from where the bus starts its journey i usually got a seat. From next stop i know 3 girls would also take the bus as it was going to their school too. And i would always give them my seat. One day i heard them talking that how easy it is for them to come and stand near me and i would give them the seat like a fool. well from next day i didnt offer them my seat but i didnt realize it would build in system and now if i dont offer seat to any female, young, old or kid i wont feel bad and local bus ride can be over 2 hours in delhi.

Hi all, I didn't read most of the conversation, but I get the idea. If even one girl is thankful that you gave up your seat, then I'd say it's worth it. Sure women want equality, but they still like chivalry.

Yes, I agree, getting away from bus travel and society in general is exhibiting cold indifference. Most neighbourhoods seem to have disappeared because people are working most of the time and do not spend time outdoors and meet their neighbours. When I was a kid, during the summer evenings many people would be in their gardens or walking around making conversations with neighbours. That doesn't seem to happen any more, which is sad really. - Derek

Hi derek, It is nice that people in UK still follow this and it is how it should be. Able bodied men should always give seat to females, aged persons and physically disabled ( now i dont want to start a political right word thing here ) but thats not how it is being done these days out here and i dont know why.

It's a good job not all girls are like those that you overheard

Hi mysdianait, Yes been quite a long since i took a bus ride. I think it is so this way. Yes one of the reason that chivalry is dying is that when ever i did this , my female friends would say how they would like to treat. Also may be when i was in 12th class and had come to city that year only.. i would always give my seat and since the girls who would take bus on next stand knew i would give seat they would come and stand near me and one day i over heard them laughing about it how easy it is to go stand near him and like a fool he would give his seat.

yes i know , may be in a big city ladies have stopped being ladies and forgot the word thank you. may be this kind of behaviour makes gentleman forget about gentleness. I initially did gave seat to ladies and yet to hear once thanks. Though it whouldnt be the reason but it can be. Another one can be that girls always talk about equality here and would laugh at me when they know i gave seat to a lady and a big lecture how they would like to be treated as equal.

IF they didn't show any appreciation i can see why u quit. I certainly would appreciate u doing that. Everything can be carried too far & sometimes i think women have done themselves in w/some of it. HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND.

hi reckon, thanks for the response and yes city is wonderful i dont disagree but it is very hard work in city and since my city never sleep and u can find a lot of traffic at even 2 AM but life is pretty hard and hard life make you forget lots of principles.

hi, Thanks for the response and i dont know how much the big city is responsible for it. may be everyone here has different attittude. Girls here ( those who you dont know) think you are a fool and would laugh at your back if you give them seat in bus ..i heard it myself. I have even seen men happily sitting on seats reserved for ladies ( we got minimum 4 seat in every bus which are meant for ladies only) while woman standing. Also i have seen girls taking unreserved seats first when bus starts and nearly all seats are empty thus giving men a cause for complaint that they should take the reserved seats first but they dont and then the females from next stop try to seat on those seats when bus is full. I think females too have a hugh hand in killing chivalry

You are absolutely right! I think that what used to be called "common" consideration isn't the same either. There was a day when everyone would have been looking out for each other whether we knew each other or not. Now we live so much with this, "So what" attitude! I really do understand what you are saying.... we ladies do not make it easy for men to be gentlemen to begin with! Sorry.. :(

hi sudipta, Thanks for your response and i do look forward to your response. You are right about no female giving seat to pregnant lady who should get it first or physically disabled person. We too have the reserved seats in Delhi for them. But the problem is when bus starts and lots of seats are empty the girls would look for the unreserved seats and this cause a lot of tension as next stop when bus is full new girls would get in bus and then they would look for reserved seats when the male messengers mind because the girls on non reserved seats cud have sat on the reserved seats when they were empty but they chose to not sit on them and thus force men to stand up so now conductors in bus say that once bus leave first stop the reservation ends and anyone can sit on them.

hi misterplus , Thanks for the response and yes life is fast but woman in big cities though may say anything but would like all the advantages of being a female . They would want same pay but would want far too less work then guys. They wont go out in scorching sun and would want to be in Air conditioned rooms if there is a guy in office who would be asked to do it. SO i dont think they dont want special attention or used to hard work, atleast not here.

Hi savypat, Thanks for the response. Yes i have learnt more than not giving seat, i have learnt to not speak out where i am not required, i have learnt to not to stand for a cause and lots of other things too. Though this city gave me everything i desired for and fulfilled all my dreams with what i came to it but it took too high a price in terms of change of my attitude.

Hi anora, I am from rural background. I have spent my first 18 years of life driving tractors and playing in dirt and i was quite comfortable. Yes i know i am not sophisticated like big city groomed Richi Richs but i was doing fine and had to migrate to this city because there is no good higher education of the quality that this city has near my village or in towns near my village. Unfortunately in India all the facilities are centered around big cities and nothing around villages. Now i dont think i would return to my village. Even though this city has fulfilled my dreams with which i came to this city and in return it took a heavy toll on my personality.

hi jelly monty, Thanks for the response, and no i m not giving up living in a big city, rather i am hooked to it now so i know i wont ever go back to my village as there is nothing for me to do except take a tractor and go to farms which i dont think is my cup of tea. I was just saying how much the city has changed me.

Ofcourse i have leant a lot like being careful and quite a few things too but today i had to travel by bus for a short distance as my vehicle was taken away by my friend and i dont know why i did not give my seat to a lady and top of it i didnt feel bad at that time and later on when i got down from bus i felt bad.

hi pansy , I might be stronger than her but hmm isnt it always weak who request the stronger ones. I dont think it is done thing in the city where girls laugh at your back for offering them seat.