I just had a temper tantrum...

having a temper tantrum is a problem if we did not treat will because it sometimes make us losse dears, but i can give you advice for dealing with yor temper tantrum i my self use it, and you are free to take it or not, the advice is when you lose your temper if you are standing then sit, and if you are sitting then get laid, and if this dous not work put some water to your face, and you will calm down.

I think if you lose control enough to throw something that it is too far. I know that teenagers can press buttons and make us crazy but it is our responsibility to show them how to deal with stressful situations. I am sure it is a way to put you back in control of a situation, after all you are a responsible mom! The fact is when you do this it gives him permission to do it. Feeling bad after you do it is definately a sign of going to far. Try to take a deep breath before going off the deep end. Try to think rational. My second oldest would follow me around the house just trying to push my buttons, I learned that if I did not respond to him that he would get frustrated and walk away, then when things calmed down we were able to talk about whatever he was having a tantrum about and it is done logically between the two of us. You just have to find what works best for you! Good luck

Well if it's any consolation I used to lose my temper all the time with my ex, sure my ex wasn't a kid but they sure acted like one! I am normally the world's most placid, easy-going and calm guy but my ex really really pushed me so far that I didn't even know it was me doing the things I did. I threw a hot mug of tea at them, it missed and took a chunk of the wall out, I threw a pint of blackcurrant at them, I smashed glasses, a pyrex dish, I even thumped the wall and yes made another gaping hole, I had to pay for it! So I hear what you are saying and some adults act like kids which make other adults retaliate like kids, so don't feel bad about it! Sometimes we need to have a temper tantrum to make them understand just how far they have pushed us!

I'd be seriously worried if your son is young to be honest. I myself- Suffer from depression, and i used to be a bit like yourself, however - i currently take anti-depressants. These have ever so slightly reduced my temper as well. Which means i'm obviously less likely to shout and scream at the top of my lungs. But apart from that, i can lose my temper extremely easily. Everyone gets a bit angry sometimes. And sometimes the world seems to get on top of us. Losing it with your kids is only acceptable as a certain amount. My mother would constantly get angry and blame me- this obviously made my life very difficult. If your son is.. rather young, then you seriously do need to help your temper, because i think it's rather un-acceptable to go completely freaked on people whom may not yet have a mature mind about situations. Anyway. I'm just babbling on. Everyone has temper tantrums here or there though. It just depends how far you take it.

Hi Lady, When is it too much? I think- it's too much when you do it too often, or you hurt someone else, orrrrrr you throw something of meaning just to be mean. It's too much when you are doing it over nothing or because you just want to retaliate. Everyone has melt downs from time to time. It's kind of like canning in a pressure cooker and it gets away from you. The whissle goes off, you hit the steam button, and all is right with the worlk. Don;t beat yourself up. You have a lot on your plate and kids can take you to a place you feel like you can't escape from. Once in a while they need to see we are human, with flaws, feeling, limits, all of it. Then , for a while, they usually take what you say a little more seriously. Your a good mom and a good person. Don't loose site of that. Allow yourself to be human with human weaknesses.

I throw "temper tantrums" from time to time. I immediately guilty for them because I always seem to meltdown when my boyfriend is around. When I get really upset, I try to calm down by doing something constructive (or destructive =). Cleaning is usually the first thing I turn to because when you're so mad that your hands shake, sewing is probably NOT a good idea! Other times, I really just need to take something apart. I have random projects stored away for just this purpose: an old pair of pants that can be seam-ripped (or just cut apart), broken electronics to fiddle with, and other odds and ends. After I've taken whatever apart, I can usually recycle parts of it (fabric, plastic to go in the recycling bin, etc).

We all make our share of mistakes and do and say regretable things. I'm not parent--truth is, some of your postings are some of the most thought-provoking and insightful thoughts on the subject that I've read. Being real and down to earth--not like that Dr. Spock crap. I think we all need to know our limits, forgive ourselves when we get upset and act accordingly, but also we must be able to learn from each experience and try to prevent its re-occurence. (Yes, they say, we preach best that which we have to learn. I recall saying some things to you, and in your some of your bulletins that sometimes reeked of ignorance and sometimes of arrogance. We must live and learn, forgive and grow.) I don't know what "the limit" is with children. I certainly wouldn't want it to be okay to hit kids, the way I was raised... but, I see a lot of crappy kids coming about who may have turned out better with some much-needed spankings. It's tough to determine where that right ground is. Another good posting by yourself. Thanks, DR...

I think most of us have done the same thing. It is especially hard for those of us who keep things bottled up inside and remain composed most of the time. It sometimes feels like nobody is hearing what we say. My kids are all grown now so I have not thrown a tantrum around them. But a few years ago and I don't really know why, but I had a melt down one day which really surprised my husband. He had never seen my go off like that. Actually after I finished I did feel better. It was like all my bad energy was released. Then again if I had thrown more tantrums maybe we would still be together...Maybe he would have paid more attention to me. As far as kids I think that what you describe is pretty much the norm. But when some one turns frustration and anger onto the kids as in hitting them there is no question that is not right. I remember talking to my pediatrician one time about the frustrations of a 3 year old and twin 1 year olds. He simply told me to let things go, not to try to be perfect. As long as they were not in harm's way, I should just kick back and relax. It will get better he said. We always try to teach our children not to throw tantrums, so I have to wonder what they think when we have one...

There were times that I lose my temper and I acted so very strange. I hate myself when I am like that. I usually yell out loud. My voice is at its top when I yell and yell angrily. I try to avoid doing it when my only nephew is around and I want to run to escape the situation. I hate doing it. I hate myself when I lose my temper.

Yeah I have temper tantrums too, usually when I spend the day cleaning the house only to have the kids coming behind me trashing the place again. I get so upset with them because I cannot make them understand how it makes me feel so I have a shout and sometimes I just have to walk away because I just get so upset. It usually makes them realise though that they need to be a little more courteous to others when it comes to keeping their own stuff tidy.

It's been awhile since I have thrown anything in anger. My worst was a kid. I was a runt in Jr. High and lived in the country and rode the school bus outside Fort Collins, CO. A couple of miles in the country, the bus would stop at Colorado Highway One and Gregory Road if any of the kids wanted out or they, like me could wait till the end of the trip. 45 minutes later it would pass my house and if the weather was bad I would ride. One sunny day I got off with the Gregory Road gang that included a high school bully. He decided to bully me and pushed me into the ditch where I rolled through a patch of burrs. I got up, flipped him off, he chased me, and the gang jogged along to see what would happen. Now all this is up hill for several hundred yards. He gave up never catching me, and I slowed to a jog, and by my turn North on Abbotsford, I started down hill, and was a couple hundred feet ahead of the gang. They were ignoring me and being kids. I picked up an egg shaped rock and let fly. I beaned the bully and he dropped. I then ran the quarter mile home to find my Mom on the phone. I had not killed the bully who had come around, but his Mom had called her with part of the story. She said, "Wait till you Dad comes home." While I explained myself, Pop still gave me a strapping. The last. In my childhood I got maybe a dozen strappings and still do believe in the proverb: Spare the rod, spoil the child. With crazy laws, if a parent straps a kid now, they can end up in trouble with Social Services, but that's another story. Or is it? Miami Lady, you sparin' the rod?

I KNOW this is politically incorrect, but I got to ask? Does PMS got anything to do with this? Heh-heh It seems a feminist told this joke?: Some women behave like men a few days a month. It's called: PMS. You feeling manly?

Hi miamilady...As a mother of 4 kids myself, thankfully all grown now, I do understand your frustration, especially with raising kids today. However, you are the role model that your kids look up to, whether they show it or not. Screaming or yelling and then throwing something, and as you said it was to emphasize something, is only a power struggle and will solve nothing. Ultimately, you do not want your kids to grow up behaving the same way. On the other hand, nobody should judge why you do that without walking a mile in your shoes. I think what you need is to pinpoint the things that are making you angry, get help or suggestions in dealing with them more effectively so you will feel better about yourself as well. When you are happy and healthy mentally, it is much easier to deal with things as they come up. There is nothing wrong at all in asking for help or suggestions. Its much better then venting your anger in a negative way. Being in a power struggle, especially with a young teen, will only escalate if it continues along the same ways. Its much better to ask for help, or seek professional suggestions, and ideas on how to handle different situations, as well as managing your own anger. Good luck, and its not easy to raise kids at all in this day and age and remember that none of us are perfect.

It happens to everybody. Just try to refrain from it, especially around your kids. You lead by example and really don't want them acting like that when they lose it. I'd just try going into another room for a minute or so if possible to calm down.

You know my thoughts Miamilady…until and unless I lose it, there’s no way I can rest in peace. I forget about anger management, about being a mother, about being a ‘responsible adult’…I feel like a pressure cooker which just has to let off steam otherwise its gonna burst! And when my nerves are really rattled, I feel sick if I don’t scream and throw something…if it breaks, all the more better…that sound of a thing breaking sort of brings me down to earth from my high anger horse! So what did your son do today to deserve such attention?

I somewhat lost it on a customer at work yesterday.. I work at a portrait studio and I was doing this womans passport picture here the rules are no smile lips together, I printed her picture and her mouth was open I remined her the rules and she was like well I didnt know you didnt tell me(uhm yah I deff did) then I realizd her makeup was to sparkly to even pass cause theyre picky here when it comes to shiny things in the pictures so she wantd her money back now the pictures had went up from 12.99 to 14.99 so i refunded her and told he tat even tho the recipt price hassnt been updated, she got her exact money back (i gav her the bill she had given me) and she snapped that it didnt say the right amount although I really dont understand why..she got her money back and didnt have to worry bout aything so i said look.. you got your EXACT money back and she snapped "dont get lippy with me" seriously, some customers are so dumb sometimes.. i honestly am in shock at some points when I deal with people i just dont understand how ppl think being in a portrait studio i see alot of nasty acting kids too. soe parents just need to put their kids in their place sometime Ive seen alot of wild kids, trust me, you dont want yours to end up like that I wouldnt worry about it too much

Hey....my princess, it happens to all of us! My son is 29...and I lost it a while ago with him! Please, I am sure, you will get a lot of responses, but there are just times as you say...."you've pushed my button" TOO FAR! I am NOT known as a "hot" tempered person....but just, once in a while, things build up...and I concur, sometimes things just have to fly....and it's always the wall (which I have to repair the following day)----but it seems to help "letting go"! I hope all the honest persons here, give you a "BIG" hug...and remind you...YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL! Cheers!

i don't have tantrums, i don't do that when i am angry but i understand when people do that and i don't blame them. my mom always have that though. when i was younger in my 20's my mom will always have this tantrum when ever she feels that the house is not that clean as she wanted and she may shout and curse and scream and even throw things at the wall and sometimes toward the place near me. that was how bad my tantrum of my mother was. that is why until now in my almost 40's of age that i am not close to my mom cause of hot tempered personality.

I HATE temper tantrums!!! I understand that when you care so much about someone or something that you are more or less out of control of yourself because of your care...but if anyone i know throws a temper tantrum (friends, family etc...) i'm ouuta there! Not sticking around for the show!

i think that it is important to speak to people , even if you are angry, with respect and consideration. i cannot say that i have tantrums, but i do not blame you for this. it is a natural reaction for many people. however, i have been on the recieving end of many outbursts, and i am not one to inflict that on someone else. i have been hurt by such things. it takes a lot to forget that moment. a few friends of mine are no longer my friends because of their outbursts. i have tried to forgive them. but it sticks in my head, and it is hard to look past it. i think that when someone throws a tantrum, they make the person they throw it on or around look at them in a different light. they act differently towards them so as to not induce that tantrum again. that is when it goes too far. no one should have to walk on egg shells.