The relations among neighbors nowadays
By freshyyfresh
@freshyyfresh (57)
China
June 11, 2009 1:02am CST
It seems to me that neighbors are going out of style in China.The friend next door from whom you borrowed four eggs or a ladder has move and the people in there now are strangers.
Some of the traditional stories of neighborliness are impractical or silly,and it may be just as well that our relations with our neighbors are changing.The saying in the Bible "Love Thy Neighbor" was probably a poor translation of what must have originally been "Respect Thy Neighbor."Love can't be called up on order.Fewer than half the people in the city of China live in the same house they lived in five years ago,so there's no reason to love the people who live next door to you just because they happened to wander into a real estate office that listed the place next door to yours.The only thing neighbors have in common,to begin with,is proximity,and unless something more develops,that isn't reason enough to be best friends.It sometimes happens naturally,but the chances are very small that your neighbors will be you choice as friends.Or that you will be theirs,either.
The best relationship with neighbors is one of friendly distance.You say hello,you small-talk if you see them in the yard,you discuss problems as they arise and you help each other in an emergency.The driveway or the fence between you is not really a cold shoulder,but a clear boundary.We all like clearly-defined boundaries for ourselves.
1 person likes this
9 responses
@sudiptacallingu (10879)
• India
11 Jun 09
While you maybe correct, but I have different idea of neighbours. 70s were the times when I grew up as a child and I distinctly remember the neighbours not as friends but more as relatives of an extended family. Each neighbourhood had its own demarcation and fiercely protective of it. within the boundary, each family knew the other inside out…gossip was frequent but it was not the malicious type. Those were the days when few women worked and many an idle hours were spent together on somebody’s terrace or bedroom (depending on the season), discussing everything under the sun. in the evening the men would come home, refresh and go out for their own gossip session, which continued well past 10pm. The neighbourhood was not just for borrowing a cup of sugar, it was like an extended support system…mothers even left their kids to the neighbours if they had to go somewhere important. Keys were left with neighbours if a family went on vacation and if a catastrophe befell a particular family, the entire neighbourhood would pitch in…calling the doctor at midnight, cooking meals for a family in times of bereavement, looking after children collectively when they played on the streets…it was like one single heart beating in rhythm.
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
12 Jun 09
hi there,
It's like that here as well. I don't get overly close to my neighbors but I am friendly and respectful toward them. Like you said, we speak in passing and might pause to have a few words when we are outside at the same time. It isn't that we don't care but we don't have the time to form the friendships that people did back in the day. I helped my neighbor out a great deal when he and his children were going thru a tough time. He also helped me out when I had problems with my computer or something. His daughter actually did knock on my door once and borrowed a cup of sugar.
. It was all cool. But you are right....there are still clear boundaries.
. It was all cool. But you are right....there are still clear boundaries. 
@lingli_78 (12822)
• Australia
12 Jun 09
i agree with you that peole become more self-centered and selfish nowadays... they only care about themselves and people who they know... they won't bothered about strangers or neighbours anymore... not like in the past... may be they try to be safe as well because of the crimes that are happening nowadays... they don't want to take the risk to be a good samaritan and then bear the consequences... take care and have a nice day...
@daliaj (5674)
• India
11 Jun 09
The same thing happening in India also. I remember the time when I was staying with my grandma, we had good relationship with all neighbours. Now a days everybody is busy with their work and nobody wants to spend time for others. During my grandma's time neighbours used to help each other. shared food and any other thing we had in excess.
When we got a new baby cow, we shared the milk with neighbours for some days. We also shared various food items whenever we had neighbours. Sometiems I used to eat from neigbour's house for a change. It is a nice experience, but it is almost end.
@thenextnoel (396)
• Philippines
11 Jun 09
Sorry to hear that man. It's the same in most places in Asia including my place. Still, it's up to us to bring about the change. I'll try smiling at my neighbors tomorrow :)
@xoxcharityxox (567)
• United States
12 Jun 09
I absolutely agree with you. I will say hi to my neighbors, but I really can't say that I know anything about them at all. I like not being bothered everytime I venture onto my doorstep and leave the house. My neighbors are also elderly though. I really don't ever see us becoming bst friends or anything. I like my privacy and don't want everyone involved in my life.
@3SnuggleBunnies (16374)
• United States
11 Jun 09
their are good neighbors, bad neighbors, and weird neighbors! Forunatly our neigbors are really good for the most part. The newest neighbor to the block, his wife is weird. Like another poster was saying bout being snoopy... we were out talking to our neighbor kitty corner to us and the neighbor next door practically had her head smooshed against the glass to see who was out talking. It's one thing to glance it's another to do be that snoopy. I'm surprised she didn't run out to join the conversation as her & her hubby mooched some mulch off those other neighbors the other year by running out to their drives and inspecting what was delivered and adding his "resident expert" opinon 
The majority are good neighbors the kind that make you want to stay in your neighborhood. And of course we have the "bad egg" rental house that is rented to some young guys who like to party alot, but I guess since I called the cops the other month they've reduced the partying wich angered alot of neighbors.
The majority are good neighbors the kind that make you want to stay in your neighborhood. And of course we have the "bad egg" rental house that is rented to some young guys who like to party alot, but I guess since I called the cops the other month they've reduced the partying wich angered alot of neighbors.
@galileo2008 (1170)
• Philippines
11 Jun 09
I think it has something to do with the evolution of the human minds and behaviors. In today's new generation, everything has changed from the common trends to the latest technology, and what's sad about it is the way we treat each other is not the same was how our ancestors did centuries ago. Along with this is the cold treatment we share even with our family members and with our neighbors. I agree with you when you say "the best realationship with neighbors is one of freindly distance." I notice that some of us here in our place still exchange HI's and HELLO's, and some others stil retained that friendly gestures towards each other. I hope this will last forever.
@med889 (5941)
•
11 Jun 09
The relation with my neighbor here in London is weird.
Firstly : They come to my place whenever they want even when they are not invited, sometimes there are relatives at our place and my neighbors land up in our house.
Secondly : When My boyfriend comes to rop me at home they peep from the curtain to see who is the guy and whenever a car enters my yard they want to know.
Thirdly : I was listening to music an instead of asking me to put down the music they called the patrol an get me paid for a fine.
Fourthly : They behave as if they do not know anything and continue to come to our house and take either sugar or something else.
My dad says it is high time we create a proper boundery for ourselves.
