Mother's Interference

I'm a mother of three and I wouldn't say it's a must but an added reassurance to the daughter that grandma is there if she has questions. Too much interference is considered an intrusion to some young mothers who are very territorial over their new baby. It's also a very critical time for the young mother to develope her maternal instincts and a grandmother that is constantly pointing out faults will only harm the mothers self confidence. It should be understood by the grandmother also that the young mother will be very emotional. her life is now changed forever and she will make some mistakes and will need some time to learn. I think the grandmother would be more welcome to the young mother if she takes a more subtle approach and just lets the young mother watch her. Because she will be watching very closely if she cares enough about learning. Sometimes in a situation like that a jealousy is formed also. The grandmother remembers her own children as a baby and will tend to critisize the young mother too much so that she'll give up the baby to the grandmother more often. At times she may even feel like it's her second chance to do it better. Then the baby will start to look to the grandmother more for guidence and the mother will feel envy. I think grandmothers are very important, but interference is NOT a must. It can be very bad for the relationship.

I don't think that a mother MUST interfere, it' just in us I guess. We love our children and want to see the best for them and their children. I am not a grandmother, but I am a mother of four. When I had my first baby my mother-in-law was constantly interfering, but out of love. I just had to keep that in mind. My mom did it too but in a more subtle way. I'm sure that when my children have babies of their own I will do the exact same thing. We all just want the best for our kids.

You can take it as interference or advise or help...it really depends on how you take it. Its your first child and her grandchild too, its only natural that she will want to pitch in...she is trying to show that she cares both for you and for your child...frankly speaking I was glad for whatever help my mom gave me after childbirth...even now, she is caring for my son while I slog away at office and I am simply relived that I have somebody my own to look after my child. After all, your mother brought you up and if you think she did a good job of it, you should trust her with your child too.

I guess it's not a must..it's just a woman's intuition and a form of love from a grandmother to her grandchild. My mother did that to me when I was having my first child, and it is what normally grandmothers do in my country. As for me, I had no experience before, so I felt it was such a relieve and I was so happy that my mother was there when I was about to labor and helped me a lot when taking care of my child.

Mother is a personality that take care of yourself and stand you on your feet. She devoted her self only to you to bring up. She feed up you and remains hungry. And she has full rights to interfere with her daughter's care for her first child because she had experience. She can help in all matters. Mothers is all rounder. And I love my mother very much.