My friend's husband who left her for a younger woman,and then the younger woman

That's a really sad situation. Imagine that after 35 years, and this man becomes like that. Shows how fragile and non-permanent human feelings can be. My heart goes out to your friend. I think she should just forget about revenge and just move on with her life. I know that it hurts to be alone and single after 30 over years. But she's better off without this husband of hers, whom in my point of view is rather selfish. Unless he's totally repented and wanting to leave the younger woman, I suggest your friend is best alone.

I coukldn't have ignored his messing around w/another womam, could you? ONCE I FOUND OUT ABOUT IT HE'S BE OUT OF MY HOUSE FOR GOOD. There is no way i could forgive that.AN affair is not going to mend her broken heart. Will probably just make it worse when the affair walks out the door. I think her husband is middle age crazy. MAY NOT BE HIS FIRST DALLIANCE.

The grass is never greener on the other side and this is further proof of the same. This guy needs a good kick up the backside if you ask me and his current Wife deserves so much more than this. Her having an affair sure as heck isn't going to fix things that's for sure! Many people in life tend to dettle for less that satisfactory circumstances rather than face the prosepct of being alone. I hope your friend can find the strength to get on with her life without this tosser. It'll be so hard at first, but in the long run, she;ll be so much happier for it. How could she ever trust him again anyway?

I think if it's over with the husband, it's not an affair. Maybe if she had ignored it, it would have blown over. Maybe not. But a person married to a cheating spouse has to decide what they can and can't tolerate and everybody's different...

I think the phrase once a cheater always a cheater holds true. Tell your friend that she does not need a man....help her to be independent, dating is always fun if you let it be, meeting new people finding new interets, she does not need to have an affair just for revenge. It sunds to me that the husband is getting all the revenge based on Karma of the younger women who will likely lose interest in his shinanigans ans hopefully your friend follows suit and moves on to greener pastures.

if i were in your friend's situation, i'll make sure that my husband will regret his decision for the rest of his life. i'll involve myself in activities or interests that i held back because of my married life, and at the same time improving myself as a whole and bringing back the confidence in me. if ever he sees the changes in me i'm 100% sure that he'll be sorry for himself. and that will be my sweet revenge :)

Married for 35 years and then off with another young woman!!! I think this guy is suffering from a HUGE midlife crisis...I've heard that as people age, the urge to stay young reaches almost a feverish pitch in some and from it stems the desire to fall in love again, to be desired, to feel like young all over again. It is quite common in that age bracket in both men and women, some control it, some cant. I think your friend was right in kicking him out...after 35 years of togetherness, she just cant be blind to him flirting all over the town and be cool about it...I am sure even if she had just ignored it, the guy would have gone for other younger women, thinking it was OK with his wife. And then, he does deserve to be left alone, licking his wounds. A wife of 35 years is worth a thousand pretty chicks...if he doest appreciate that, he deserves what he got.

I guess no one know what they would really do until they are actually in that position. I don't think I could stay with someone once they have cheated. Therefore, I'd have to divorce him. I would always be worried that it would happen again. Nine times out of ten he will cheat again.

Hey cythiann! This situation really sounds like it might be already too messed up to fix! Once damage like this is done I really don't think that a couple can go back to the way things were! And the fact that this azzwhole of a "man" and I use that term very loosly decided to checkout what might be "greener pastures" and go back and forth I think that was the end for them both! Things like that just can't always get started again! And as for your friend wanting to have an affair, that of course, is for revenge and she will only end up getting herself more hurt! She needs to maybe get some kind of counseling before anymore damage is done!

Marriage that last for 35 year is already a milestone. They shared together all the ups and downs in every relationship. I just wonder why things and temptaion broke them apart. So am I right to presumed that there's no such thing as they live happily ever after?

Adultry is a sad fact of the society. Nobody is happy in such relationships, but people tend to fall for the urge and temptation. I think that your friend is very hurt and that is why she is thinking of an affair. It would be detrimental for her and also to the person she gets involved with. I think dear friend your role becomes more important now, she would need your support and help more than ever. Thanks and have a great weekend.

It is really hard when you are in her situation. Thinking that they are married for 35 yrs is such a long time. But maybe it is better if she will deal with the pain first. She should pray for faster healing. Because anyone can wipe our tears but only God heal a broken heart. And then from there she can make a decission whether she wants a divorce or reconciliation. It's really hard on my part to say what she should do because eventhough I don't know her I am really hurt for what happened. Maybe because I am also a woman. Or maybe I was been cheated once in my life. But I do hope that she will soon be okay. Just tell her to be strong and always hope for the best.

Hmmmmmmmm so great problem so hard to handle . If the love is still there with her younger woman he accepts it , but if the love fades away becuse of what he did thats a good reward for him. He thinks he can do everything to women just to satisfy his will for them, not thinking that they hurt so much for their partner. Sometimes that kind of attitude is somewhat inherited from their generations or sometimes influences of their waelthiness that they can afford to have many women in their life.

life will go on, if she makes decision to abandon her husband, then to find new life. it is pity this kind of thing always happens around us, some people just looks for temporary happiness but lost a lot, when he realizes it is too late to regret. I think she is right, never to forgive such kind of man, you don't know what will happen if you accept the man once after.

THat is a hurtful and confusing situation...I don't know what I would do if I were her...if it were me.....Hit the road Jack and don't you come back no more no more no more....hit the road Jack and don't you come back no more!

cynthiann, I just could not help adding a little of my $0.02 worth here. First of all, I am just wondering what REALLY happened between the both of them on the 35th year of their marriage. I am quite baffled here and out from experience, I cannot rule out that your friend is totally innocent or blameless for her husband's wandering. Remember the saying that it takes both to clap and that there will not be a fire if there is no sparks to begin with. IMO, I felt that the point about midlife crisis could be one of the legitimate issues here. There are just a lot of issues when we approach the later years of our lives. We not only need to accept changes but to handle them as well. It is just never easy especially when everything seems to come at us all at the same time and if I may add here that chances does favor those who are prepared. Or, it will be like standing in the middle of a 13 foot tsunami coming down upon you out of no where. I think as a friend, we can only offer a listening ear and a discerning word or 2. A lot will really be dependent if your friend would still want this marriage to go on and if so, she will probably need to approach it with a more forgiving and magnanimous heart plus attitude. Both parties will have to accept that the current problem is beyond them and that in order for them to overcome it, they will have to evolve and be constructive with their future. Professional counseling here will be mandatory than optional. Revenge is not going to solve anything at the end of the day as how can there be anything good or real coming from a full of malice and vengeful heart. Being together for 35 years is really a considerable feat and after everything they have gone through, I just cannot believe that stray is a doing from one side of the relationship. No offense taken if I have sounded condescending towards your hurting friend but it is just that there is more than it meets the eye, here. My heart just feels for them and hopes that they will be come together for a HTH (heart to heart) talk, for whatever they may want to say at their side, they still need and feel for each other. Have a nice day.

There are marriages that have survived an affair. That being said even if the cheater never cheats again it is a long hard painful road to walk. I wouldn't want to go there and I'm not sure I could forgive and rebuild the relationship. Not many people can get over that.

god no1 on earth would get this situation it hurtsssss like hell......god give her patients ...but if i were her i would have left him coz he can repeat dat again so its better to help her get independent and njoy her life