If your hus/wife or lover have some problems you will try change his personality

I think that we should find romance in the person our love one is. I think that if we ask them to chage or want them to change then we are not really into them but we are in love with an idea that we have in our head. I find mean who are more of an achiver or self motivated to be very sexy. Bu the man I love he drags his feet on things I think need attention right then and there. I try to just love him for how things are because that achiver is not whom I am with. Yes I do know we have to draw a line at some point.

Hi, Icesmile! Nobody can change another person. The best we can do is adapt to changes in those about whom we care. Sometimes, if asked, a loved one might try to change whatever it is that's annoying, but that's far from a sure thing.

Although sometimes I wish I could change some of his bad habits I do accept him for who he is and don't want to change him. After all that is who I fell in love with and if he changed would I still love the person he became?

I don't want change personality whom I love. because I love what he is, with all the excess and shortage that he have. If he change the personality I think he be a different person and I do not recognizes it again. about be more romantic or strong in bed I think that is can be learning by doing

i agree completely that we fell in love with our other halves for who they are and if we change them we will not love the person we have changed them into,

When i met my husband over 14 years ago we used to have such a laugh and enjoy our time together,but over the years we have both changed and not for the best.We argue alot more,we dont really enjoy each others company as much and we do not have the same interests as we used to.I wish things could go back to how they were and not how they are with us.I do not know if it is due to the strain of having children or if it is that we have been drifting apart,but i do know that things will never change with either one of us.

We should only choose people with personalities that are compatible with our own. It's one thing when someone does something that makes us uncomfortable, or that we don't like (I don't like my husband smoking in the house) but we should not try and change that person totally (I did not ask him to stop smoking, just not to smoke infront of me). People are not lumps of clay that other people can mold. We are all individuals.

We must accept each other how we are. There are some things we will never like, but we must work through these. We must not try to change somebody who we love. I love my husband for who he is and we are soul mates.

I would Never try to change anyone.I was born stubborn and I was raised to be considerate to everyone.With this mix, I always assume that everyone is as stubborn as I am.I love because of who he is.If I try to change him and he lets me, I won't love this new person.Besides I would resent him for letting me change him. I respect strong and stubborn people.My ideal man would just leave a woman trying to change him.

I feel that it all depends on whether or not we still love the person, I think if there are problems in any relationship that we should talk about it, but if the person is not prepared to comprimise then maybe the relationship has run its course. It is a shame, especially when there are children involved but sometimes people are better apart. Nobody is perfect but I feel that we need to focus more on the good things than the bad but I feel from experience that once you get to the point in a relationship where practically everything about them annoys you it is time to go your seperate ways.

icesmile, As much as we all believe that Love must indeed come naturally, our 'Self' component must provide the fertile ground for such natural occurrence to manifest into reality. This 'Self' component, namely our personality and what steps we take to render ourselves more socially desirable, not merely in the physical sense, but also as a person emotionally, psychologically and spiritually positive. We harbor fantasy for all sorts of things, people and dimensions. In fact, we might even lose track of our reality, especially when we abdicate our self awareness over such illusion. It's common for people to indulge in fantasy because we are unwilling to shatter this image by putting dreams into reality. We prefer to give beautiful descriptions about our worship with imaginary and wordings - many times, so perfect and immaculate that we know at the back of our mind that, if we were engaged with this extraordinary person in reality, we will gradually be forced to abandon our fantasy because nobody can be as perfect, other than the imaginative figure in our mental construct. For Love, like dough, needs to remake and remodel constantly, to settle into a good shape - a relationship devoid of proper communication stays static and is vulnerable to destruction because it lose the elasticity to survive. As some love analyst has once said: "Love is very much 51% decision and 49% superfluous factors" so, there is just so much more than any words here that can put a relationship on the right path. Problem doesn't lie with the people we meet, it rest with the choice we make... from the people we meet. So, do remember to work out problems together and not just expect changes from the other party to resolve problems. Both of you need to evolve. Talk is cheap. Experience can only be gained when we decide to start living and doing the talk. Have a nice day.

There is nothing wrong with wanting your spouse to improve. What is wrong, is to focus on them, more than yourself. What is also wrong, is how you go about helping them improve. Nagging for example, never works. Even in the case where the person does change their behavior due to your nagging, they typically resent you for it, and it will do more harm to your relationship, than any good from the change. Nagging, attacking, berating... all are an axe to the tree of your marriage. Clean up yourself, before you ever go after someone else. Finely, realize perfection is impossible no matter what. The worst thing you can do is assume you can fix all the flaws in the other person. I haven't met a person of any kind yet, that was perfect. And you can't fix them. Yes they might improve over time, but perfection will never be found. You will only make yourself unhappy looking for it, or trying to create it.

The very reason you fell in love was for what they were, so in a way you are right why change them but if you really love that person you dont want others to pin point their negative qualities, so you can help your spouse to get rid of them let others speak of good things about your spouse that will really give you a high. meapas.

Love is unconditional , it is acceptance of other person's flaws. No one can change the other person. The change has to come from within, from the person himself. If you really love someone , you have to accept him ,no matter what, for who he is.

I have discovered that it is impossible to change anyone. I just concentrate on myself and change myself to become better. Even changing oneself is not easy. Cheers!!

I am in current debate if it is possible that our loved one will listen to us and actually change for the better. Not because we want them to change who they are but we are wanting to help them in any way we can. Currently I am still in the midst of determining if he is doing it because he's got no choice or if he is deep down sincere. My gut feeling is that he is still doing what I asked him not to. Basically we should help our loved ones try to change not because we want to change them altogether but because we want them to change for the better.

But at the same time;;It's ohkaii to trii&+Change Certain things;; With mii boiifriend;;Everii thing he does makes me smile;; I Can't even be mad at him for more then 5 minutes;; But at the same time;; There are things I do trii to Change;; For example he's double standards;;As in it's ohkaii if he does something;; But I'm not allowed to;;Well I'm triin to Change him to make him understand;; That if he's gonna do or saii something;;I have the right just as well to do the same;;