Borrowing money

It's not selfish, if you only have enough for yourselves. If you are constantly hounded by this person, remind them that it bothers you, and they'll stop asking. If, however, you can spare a small amount (say less than half of the asking) and are willing to forgive this person the money, and are quite willing to give it to them, there is that option. You don't have to give away all your money, you should be able to look after yourself, and then you can give. The Bible says we should be giving 10% away, and saving 10% for leaner years. That leaves 80% of your earnings to go toward everything else! For $500 a week job (good job, eh?) that's $50 to give, and $50 to save, a total of $200 a month each!

Have they told you why there were not able to pay you back the first money they owed you? If not, then it seems that they are just using you to bail them out of their problem. It has been a common practice that before you can borrow , you need to have paid at least 90% of what you owed. I do not believe that you are being selfish. I believe that you are just being wiser. You work hard for you money, and make sacrifices not to have insant gratification. You can only give as much. I think you have done that part.

I have to say that you are no where close to being selfish. I in fact have a relative that is always asking us for a small loan cause her boyfriend is in jail. My hubby and I have no money so we tell her that we can't help and yet she keeps calling. The thing is that she still owes people money and on top of that she has never gave our movies back. I figure that we need to think about our children and family. So no you were not selfish, in fact you were playing it smart. I think that for all the people that is always helping people out that never gets their money should think of them self for once and not worry about whether or not they are doing it for the good or not.

no, i dont think you are selfish... but what made them lose what they had before? there are things to be considered when trying to help people. if they are really alzy and all they do is just asked for help and do nothing about their situation then people should not bother helping them as they have to learn to stand by themselves... but if they are doing all they can and still have gotten no luck, i think it would be alright to extend a helping again even though that person havent paid what he owed the last time. i know someone who is like that, who really worked hard but cant get enough, its seems like he's having bad luck all the time. he dont ask for help though as he is not the type to ask and he just wish someone would really help him, without the need to ask for help, or borrow money, knowing he had siblings who are well off, another one is helping him, but its not really that much...

I don't think it's selfish at all. We have helped them once and they can't expect us to help them every time they're in need. They must learned to be independant. I also have the same experience before. Lend money to a friend who faced with some financial difficulty and she had 5 kids. Later i found out that she took the money to gamble. Since then I didn't lend any money to them anymore.

Hi, at a glance of your topic, lots of memories flying back to me about this 1 particular friend of mind who always have no money to eat! He used to keep borrowing and borrowing, cleanly saying its for food. Ofcourse, I didn't mind giving him the money to buy food! Till I caught him red-handed with a lottery ticket! All this while, he had money for food and non to buy the ticket, therefore, he kinda' looted me! But this incident is deinitely not relating to all.

I think you are not selfish. It is the right way to treat your own money seriously.There is an old Chinese saying that To Help People Who Are Really In Emergency, Not In Poverty. According to what you described,the person's attitude on money and future decides his present status,he deserves it. Of course if your ecnomy allowed,you.....

no you're not selfish. But you're stingy :). no just joking, you need to help your family no matter what because it's your family :)!

I think you're just being prudent. You're basing your decision on a past experience with this person. Maybe people do deserve a second chance, but the question is whether you can afford to risk that second chance. Not a lot of us are in the position to comfortably test other people's integrity. If that's money that you're potentially never gonna see again, then it has to be money that you don't need.

If they need the money badly and you're the only one they can run to for help, you may give them for the second time with an advise for them to do something to earn as next time you might not be able to give them again. The feeling is great once we do help, for sure they would be much grateful to you once their problem was solved. You can give them partial amount or what you can afford to, they would take your kindness as a debt of gratitude, should they won't be able to pay you back soon, others will do or God will, maybe in form of other blessings. Don't reserve your money for something negative in the future, you're generosity can save you for any untoward incident. Of course I understand we must have savings so once we maybe in need we'll not be borrowing from others. Though it's better to give than to receive. Of course you still have the final say, this is just an opinion, hope you won't take this as a negative response.

I don't think it's being selfish at all. First, you borrowed money to them before and they never paid it back. That right there says that they don't repsect others. Family is the worst when it comes to that and that is why I don't do it either. Second, you stated they are in trouble again for not planning ahead. Well sorry to say, but who do they think they really are that everyone else has to bail them out of the problems they created? All in all they aren't responsible and expect others to take care of them. I say they need to grow up. Lesson learned, you make a good point there and it's not a bad thing either. If they want to spend their money like adults, then they should learn to manage it like an adult. You are not selfish. It is the difference between appreciating what you work for and someone that doesn't want to take responsiblity for what they are spending.

I would not loan money out to somebody unless thaey had paid me back the money I had previously loaned them . Plus our ecomomy is not doing goo a all and you proably would want to save what ever you can for the future .You are not Bank of "sikat101" so they are just going to have to be understanding that you cant keep bailingf you out .Plus if you do it this time ...just one more time they think that you will keep doing it then you will be in the same situation they are

I don't think it's selfish at all. THere are some people who think things should be handed to them and don't have to work for anything. You work hard for your money and you should be able to save it or have fun with it, not let someone else have fun with it. It's nice having extra cash but you can't always go crazy with it, you have to be smart. Just because your relative wasn't smart with their money doesn't mean you should bail them out and use your "spare" money help them, espcially since they didn't pay you back before.

First, I think that when you prepare to lend money to friends/family you have to give it and not expect it back. Second, I think you have to look at why they need the money, why are they in any kind of money related trouble? Third, you let them borrow money before? Why were they in trouble before? If it's for the same reason, most likely it will happen again and again. It's not worth putting your financial future at risk because of someone else's mistakes, even if they are family. Lastly, if they keep bothering you about the money, even after you have said you do not have any to give, simple state that you are in debt as well, say you understand their position and are doing your best to get yourself out of the same position. Granted this is lying to someone you care about, but in the end by them learning to get themselves on their own feet, they will be much better off.

When it comes to money, it is best to protect what you have even if it means saying no to relatives. If you felt they were responsible and not abusing the privilege of borrowing from you and paid you back, then okay, you could consider loaning them money again. You are not being selfish. I think you are being wise and responsible with your money. You already gave them one chance. If you give them more money now, you would just be responsible for continuing to "enable" them to be irresponsible with their money again. Let them go to a bank and borrow money a legitimate way rather than mooching off of family members.

There is nothing related to selfish here.But whose family is that and why are they depending on your family?Do they have any rights to ask you?if they have any share,then give theirs and remain in peace.If not,you don't have any responsibility and so you can still remain in peace without any guilt.

It is not selfish to refuse a request from someone to borrow money when they are irresponsible financially and especially when they already owe you money. You are not responsible for an adult who is not your own child. Everyone has to deal with the consequences of their actions and family member or not this person needs to grow up.