Is it okay to marry someone that you do not love??

Nope, I wouldn't marry someone without being in love. Just being compatable is not always the solution. Too many things involved which make a good marriage. We've been married 40 years, last weekend, and for the most part happy. Had some rocky times but think all couples do throughout a marriage. I've had to learn patience with my husband when it comes to being involved with sports. He coaches softball and travels quite a bit throughout the summer. I wish your friend much success with her marriage.

Oh my Goodness, Getting along for 10 years means that there was love between them. Maybe the reason she is telling you that she doesn't love him anymore,but you get along well is that they are too comfortable with each other that and they find little time to make their union excitement. I myself have spent almost 9 years before we got married. I knew my gf who becomes my wife so well that by I can read her thought by merely looking at her. I guess compatibility is one of the key for a successful marriage.

It all depends on what her definition of "in love" is. It sounds like she loves him as a friend but her 'in love' may mean she is no longer infatuated with him. She is about where most women are after 9 years of marriage. Compatibility is extremely important in a marriage and being good friends is even more important. So if she did not get married to this man but then found someone that really turned her on would that make a better marriage partner. Maybe for awhile but it is not enough for a long term relationship. Of course if she truly does not love him then she is foolish to consider marriage. It is hard enough with someone you really love let alone someone you don't.

Hi there leyisa I feel this way about this. If she care enough for him to stay for 10 years and keep the relationship going plus they have kids together to me there has to be some kinda of love there. The reason I say this I could not stay with someone just because we are friends. I mean to me this is what love is all about caring, having kids, living together, being there for each other, these are all quailities of love. SO to me there has to be some kinda of love there because that is what love is all about. Take care and happy mylotting to you.

some people think that marriage is an investiment. Marriage is a bond an exchange of affections, feelings.

In my opinion, no one should EVER get married if they did not love the other person. There is so much that you have to put into a marriage to make it a long and happy one, that if you enter it for the wrong reasons the end result is divorce. You mention they have kids together. People these days use the 'we have kids' card as a reason to tie the knot. Just because you have kids with that person is NOT a reason to get married. Marriage is A LOT of work and a lot of stress, but it's also a beautiful thing if your marrying for the right reasons. Regardless of the years they've been together, divorce is just too expensive to just marry someone for the heck of it! I guess the only thing you can do as a friend is voice your opinion. I'm guessing the guy is madly in love with her? If that's the case strongly advise her against going through with this. If it happens and WHEN they do get divorced it is going to destroy that man and any good friendship they may have now will be wasted.

In my opinion, no. I wouldn't marry someone that I didn't love even if I loved them as a friend. There's more to marriage than that. I know that your friend and husband are going to hit a bad patch unless he decides that she does love him and I don't wish that on anybody. If she were my friend, I would ask her what she was thinking. Is she desperate or afraid of becoming a spinster? Those are the only two reasons anyone would marry someone they don't love. Although, my assistant suggested a bunch of other ones as she was helping me type this but no of those are acceptable either in my opinion. This is the sort of thing you simply shouldn't do.

It is something only the person doing so can judge. sometimes there are other commitments. May be the children together or so. But love is eternal. It can come in any way.

What's the point of marrying someone if you don't love them? To me for your friend to say they're getting married because they've been together for so long, they have kids, however, there is no love? Love is the element that keeps two together. I definitely wouldn't marry someone if they didn't love me. You said your friend said she loves him, but is not in love with him. The question is why does she love him still? There's no happiness involved for one. If she's not in love with him, she no longer cares or has any affection to him. They are no longer intimate together. And to say if they do have their wedding to say, it would only be an act of deceit since love isn't involved. Therefore, without love, there is no such thing as a happy or good marriage. It will only be a paper marriage in the making.

The idea that love remains the same throughout the life of a relationship is wrong. In the early stages love is strong...butterflies in your stomach...romance and all that goes with it...but no one can keep that up forever. Eventually a couple progresses to the point where they feel love for each other...but not that "in love" spark anymore. That has been replaced by being close companions, best friends and someone the other person can depend on. I have known too many people who have left good relationships in search of the "in love" spark that will last. It doesn't...it's not supposed to.

I don't think so. In your friends case I'm sure she love him before when the relationship is still at early stage. Somehow along the way the love start to fade. Maybe she just want her children to have a happy normal family and she is willing to get married to someone she no longer love. Sad story...

for me? nope its not ok..lol i cannot imagine myself loving someone whom i do not love, i cannot imagine yself hugging someone i do not love or taking care of someone i do not love. i married because i love that person and not because i have been with that person for a long time, though it plays a big factor yet it is not the main factor..love is the center of marriage and though many factors play..it is a must, well for me that is.

Love is the key to a good marriage,and marriage without real love can't be long.To marry a man she does not love is unwise,but your friend's situation is quite complicated, she has been with the man for ten years long,and what is most important is that they have had kids together,so your friend have no choice but to marry the man.Hope in future your friend will fall in love with the man.

I would definitely say that I eill not marry to a person that I don't. First of all, this is very unfair to him, and also I am lying to him if I were to marry him. And when time goes by, there'll be a lot of problems exist and in the end, this will not be a last long marriage. For me, I must married with somebody who love me and I also love him as much as he do.

i don't think so and i don't want to do it... why would i want to marry a person that i don't love??? i think it is just silly and it will make me miserable... compatibility is definitely not enough a reason for getting married... there are lots of other things to consider as well and one of them is love... a marriage based on no love won't stand the test of time and it won't last long... that's what i think... take care and have a nice day...

I think that your friend love her long time boyfriend or she will not stay with him that long. Yes, the passion may have subsided somehow but that does not mean that she is no longer in love with him. A lot of people have this illusion that love ought to be very passionate and all but the truth is, love has many ways of manifesting itself. Having a good relationship is something that your friend should cherish.

I don't know if it is or it isn't. I think that it is something that is up to that particular couple. I have often heard that it is better to start out as friends and then grow into the romantic relationship. I think that is true too. I think maybe with your friend's situation is that she is comfortable with him now and that is why she thinks she is not "in love" still. Have a great day and happy myLotting!!!

Without marrying they have loved for 10 years and have kids. Then what for they are marrying now. If it is 10 years of married life then also the love might have been reduced to the present level. So let them marry now. It is not good for going more relationships/partners in one's life. We are not animals. One man one woman, that is good. Do not behave like animals.

Oh, that is not a good reason to get married.. There are couples who are made just be broken.. but, if they will try to rekindle their relationship, then I think that she might fall in love again to her soon to be husband..

omg thats the dumbest question ever...marriage is a sacred bond. you dont mess with that kinda stuff.