How difficult is it to live in loveless marriage?

well I can relate to this not as a married person but as a son who have parent who dont love each other and just stayed for the sake of us children... Well for me it's never really good and it's not enough reason to stay together and blaming it all on the children coz when their children will grow up and see them argue every time on just about anything and almost everyday this would not set a good example to them it would be better that they would separate ways then stay together and not harmonious. If they plan to stick together they should at least make an agreement that they wont let their children see their loveless relationship. For this the children seek a love of another and wished that both where not his parents. This is just base on my personal experience and not applicable to all. As parents and as grown up people they must know their responsibility and one of them is to set an example of love... stick with marriage for one reason and that is love if their is no love left then what is their to hold on... Dont make excuses by blaming or making your children as the excuse...and when time comes that there children would ask about that or would make a simple mistakes then they would blame their children that because of us children they have to suffer this ordeal of loveless marriage just bad and not right .

the basic foundation of marriage should be love and not because of obligation. there are those sometimes that consider marriage as an answer for a problem (early pregnancy, being forced by the parents and arrange marriage) and most of the time this marriage ends up into separation and only few become successful. why successful? sometimes love can be learned and sometimes it can developed because of constant companionship. but it would be best to have love when entering marriage.

I got married last may 29, but its with love, respect and understanding. I am so happy with my husband. I know there will be adjustment for both of us but i can say we are really helping each other. Im not into arranged marriages, it makes me think not feeling happy because i cant be with the person i really like. When two people are only living together for the sake of their children or other reasons, they sacrifice their own happiness. I think its not good for the children to have parents living together like that. It will make them suffer more in the long run. I hope my words can give meaning to real happiness when your with someone you really love. Happy mylotting and smile always!

hi agrim, A marriage without love is no marriage at all but it still is legal and as a indian girl i wouldnt go for divorce no matter what. No marriage can be loveless if you give it full time and try hard to keep it. All you need to do is make ur house home and take care of your husband and children and your inlaws best you can and it would show in the eyes of husband. A marriage is not a joke and no one likes to destroy his or her home, just if we all work hard it would be a marriage full of love and understanding. And if it is not then also for sake of children and family name i would never ever get out of it nor would i ever cheat.

Most people marry for love. Through the years each person may fall out of love, but the other keeps them going. I was married just about 9 years.. Over time we both grew up, he was 19 and I was 17 1/2 when we married.. Way to young to be getting married.. Anyways.. It was not hard for me to stay in a loveless marriage because of the simple fact that was all I knew and the outside world alone seemed to be freaky.. I felt that at least I knew what to expect. I was not worried about cheating my eyes were pointed towards my husband, regardless of how rocky the relationship was.. I felt for a long time, he was my rock, and without him I would fail. We have a child together, he was born five years after we got married.. Which he well lets just say if we would have followed our hearts and left our comfort zone our son would have never been born.. But I am thankful each and every day that our son is with me... Now with your last statement, "Because you are still married so neither of you can cheat nor can have another meaningful relationship". With the way that I view marriage, its a special vow that never should be broken, while you are married.. I never once said to myself, if only I was divorced I could go out with this person.. My mind just I guess you can say turned that part of my brain off.. A meaningful relationship? The way I would define that is a close relationship with someone.. Even through you are married you can have relationships of that sort.. Just do not cross the line, especially if its with the opposite gender. Marriage is something special, and I really do not like the way these pop stars are making it out to be some kind of game or joke.. In my opinion it really degrades the meaning of marriage. All I can say to you about marriage is; when you find the right one, and take that leap of faith.. Make sure you are doing it for all of the right reasons.. And look at it long term, divorce may be legal, but it does not make it right.

You tell the truth.Now we regard marriage as a so important choice that we must pay full heart in it.I don't think I can stand a loveless marriage.But life is a play.Sometimes you don't know what the ending will be.So everyone may have mistakes in life.In my opinion, if you decide to do something,make sure that you will not regret with it.And no matter what happened,make the best choice for you.

I made that mistake myself, staying with my husband just for the children. So did so many others as well. We all found out that it would have been better for all concerned if the marriage had just ended. It's not good for the children to live in and be around the tension that looms in the air. It's not fair to them when you could be happy therefore they would be happy if the marriage had just ended. I know that many times the lady does not have the money to make ends meet if they leave their husband. But that is no reason to stay in a relationship that is doing harm. If only the men would realize that they need to pay the child support. The money is not for their ex-wife, it is for the children and their lives are a little bit easier when their child support is paid. Men think they are giving the woman money to do with as she pleases. No it's money to buy cloths for the kids, money for food if needed and all of the extra things that the kids need. Health care, the co-pay for the doctors office and hospital. If the ex-wife can not pay these things and the dad is not paying the child support, then who suffers? The children do.

Well they may not love each other, but they do not have each other, so in their case, they like each other or they want the companionship. It is therefore very easy. It would be different if they hate each other, but they are not at the stage where they want a divorce and if they do not believe in a divorce, they will wait until it becomes untenable for them to survive. There is also the cost of a divorce, if the children are going to stay with one parent and the other be the visitor not to mention the house that they shared together. So in that case, living in the same roof, but not having s*xual relations or not as often is a better idea then deciding that the children stay with mom but see dad on the weekends.

that would be the worst scenario of one's like.it seems like one is locked forever.for me, i wouldn't thrive to a relationship that wouldn't make me feel happy and contented. i wouldn't waste my time for the world. i would rather live alone than being indulged in that kind of problem.so far, i love my husband and we intend to live happily EVER AFTER.

I think alot of people are living like that. They get use to it i guess but i never would. They each get in their own comfort zone, each go their way & do what they want to. I personally don't think that is what marriage is all about but to each his own.

yeah, it must be pretty tough, but for as long as you both gaze at the same direction for the relationship and for the family, maybe it's not difficult at all to look at each other's eyes and say "i love you".... maybe?

Among the factors involved are age, and mental attitude. Those at an advanced age will most probably find it difficult to find a new partner. Staying with the present partner is a better option. The trick is to keep oneself busy with various activities. Getting into an affair is not advisable, because there would be complications. Accepting that there are things which we cannot get in a loveless marriage can help to sustain it. Otherwise there will be constant bickering over things which we may be able to live wthout. Be at peace with oneself, rather than seeking solace from the person who is not prepared to give it to us. all the best, rosdimy

I am married now for the second time. My first marriage ended amicably many years ago and I recall the way things were towards the end; not joyful I can tell you. We began drifting apart and arguing a lot although nether of us had plans to move on at that time. We stayed together for ages because it felt safe I think and after a while we even stopped fighting so much as well. We lived as room mates instead of lovers. We knew the time came to call it a day when the irritations began. We would just look at one another and feel annoyed and had we gone one like that for too much longer we would have ended up hating each other. I know a couple in their late fifties who have been living like that for years and now they cannot stand each other but neither one will leave because they both want the house. They are miserable and I have to wonder if a house is worth all the resentment and sadness. As for people who stay together for the children I think it is a sensitive area because if you are not happy together and don’t like each other the children will sense it and I tend to believe that it would more damaging to them than dealing with separated parents.

Agrim- It's very difficult to live together without love or a mutual care and respect for one another. When one person stops and becomes apathetic in the relationship it's time to move on. Staying for the sake of the children only does more damage to the children then if the parents were to move on with their lives and still love the children. Divorce is never easy either, but children are very resiliant and if they know both parents love and care for them, they can move forward from it knowing that both parents are healthy and happy. Namaste-Anora

Unfotantly my marriage as short as it was was a waste of time for me. I am glad we don't have any kids. Our marriage actully lasted less then a year but he left me and 2 years later I decided I was tired of having his last name so I divorced him. The crazy part is his new wife or the woman he left me for still talks about it. I mean she talked to me little 6 year old niece in school. I wish it could be dropped. I think it is sad the people that do stay married because they have kids but as far as cheating goes I know that happens it happed to me.

I think that is one of the worst things couples can do. It is not only hard on the two people, but on their children as well. They are all living in such a harmful, unhappy situation. They might be staying for the children but don't they realize the kids know what is going on. And some do stay - but they start cheating, etc.. and that is not good either. I think people should make a grave effort to stay married and work it out. However, sometimes things just don't work out. Yes, It is unfortunate and sad, but marriages do go bad. And in some cases it is better to be happy, divorced, kids happy instead of living upset, arguing, bitter, and dysfunctional.

Nice topic. It's just like asking "Why do some marriages for convenience are not convenient at all?" Some marriages are forced, some are done for convenience and some are because of love. I am still unattached but I can clearly see that a marriage without love will not work out. If the two persons involve in the relationship did it for convenience, it may work out at first, but later on problems may arise, or on a positive note, they may end up loving each other. Hopefully I will not end up in a marriage like that. I still believe that it is better to start out a family out of love and not because of any other reason.

Marriage relationship is more complicated than what you could imagine. Meanwhile there is no absolute love or loveless marriage in the world.

Agrim now a days i have seen these arguments lot of times.Somehow most of the young generation see marriage as a loss of freedom.They are scare to commit for longer term.What i want say is there are many happy couples around too.Just have a look at them.Stop watching just negative side of marriage. About love less marriage,there are up and downs in marriage.It takes efforts to sustain that love forever.

unbearable.