Have you seen/heard this at a wedding before?
By reinydawn
@reinydawn (11643)
United States
June 22, 2009 8:50am CST
Over the weekend, I went to a wedding. It was for a young couple - the son of a very close friend of mine. They were on a very tight budget and it was kinda skimpy in a lot of areas. But it was VERY nice. We had a great time.
During the reception, my husband started clinking his glass. Normally, everyone else will join in and keep clinking the glass until the new bride and groom kiss. Sometimes people get pretty obnoxious with this and you will hear the clinking all day, and the bride and groom will sometimes have to find each other from opposite sides of the room and then kiss.
Well, when my husband did this at the reception, everyone got really quiet and just looked at us wondering if we were going to make a toast or something. I just said "They're supposed to kiss" and they all looked at me like I had 2 heads. They had never heard of this. Needless to say we didn't do that again...
Have you ever heard of this before? Do you do this at weddings? Is there something that you just always thought was universal at weddings that some people don't do?
7 people like this
19 responses
@kelly2003 (23)
• Australia
22 Jun 09
i am pretty sure i have seen the clinking of glasses in order to make the bride & groom kiss in some movies, i'm not sure off the top of my head which movies though.
but now that it is in my mind i'm going to have to watch all the movies involving weddings that i can find to see if i can jog my memory as to where i have seen it happen before.
2 people like this
@moondancer (7433)
• United States
22 Jun 09
kelly, do you think it was the wedding crashers? They went to a few weddings and saw different things at each.
2 people like this
@reinydawn (11643)
• United States
23 Jun 09
I thought I'd also seen it in movies so I guess that's why I thought it was something everyone did. I guess we all have our own traditions!
@Tallygirl09 (1380)
• United States
22 Jun 09
Wow, That's a new one on me!! I thought everyone did that~! The most fun and memorable wedding I have ever been to was one done on the cheap. It was held in a church basement with no band, all the guests brought the food and we ate buffet style but everyone was focused on having a good time. We danced and laughed until the wee hours of the morn. Everyone took turns choosing the music which was cd's and tapes that we all brought. Most relaxed and laid back wedding I've ever been to and yet it was by far the most fun!
2 people like this
@reinydawn (11643)
• United States
23 Jun 09
Those usually are the best kind! We didn't do anything fancy either and everyone had a blast!
@moondancer (7433)
• United States
22 Jun 09
I have never heard of doing that the get the couple to kiss. However, it is a tradition that when someone clinks there glass, everyone does get quiet and the person that clinked the glass gives a speech of some type to the newly married couple. Also, sometimes I have noticed that couples fore go the bride and groom starting the first dance, or the father of the bride dancing with his daughter for what they claim is his last thing to do alone with his daughter.
Another one is giving an envelope to the bride with money in it to help them in starting their new life together.
I don't know what happened that people just do not hold to traditions like they use to.
2 people like this
@reinydawn (11643)
• United States
23 Jun 09
DANG! So far no one else really does this. I wonder what kind of tradition it is... I've known friends that have done it, so it's not just my family. I've also been to weddings in other areas and they've done it, so it can't be a local thing. I'm going to have to do a bit of research (when I have some free time) and figure this out!
@palonghorn (5479)
• United States
22 Jun 09
Actually, I've never heard of this tradition. Normally, at least all the weddings I've been to, when someone clinks their glass, it means they are trying to get everyone's attention for either some type of announcement or a toast. I am planning on getting married in September, and if someone clinks a glass I'm fairly certain it will be to make a toast or some kind of funny remark. we are both firefighters, and it will also be our theme for the reception, soooo no telling what might happen! lol I have already said there will be no fire engines allowed other than the one that will take us from the ceremony to the reception.........and then it can leave! I don't want any of the guys getting any ideas with the hoses! LOL
2 people like this
@reinydawn (11643)
• United States
23 Jun 09
Well CONGRATULATIONS! and have a great time! Maybe you can start a tradition and go ahead and kiss when someone clinks their glass :)
@tyc415 (5706)
• United States
22 Jun 09
The only time I have ever heard the clinking of the glass was when the person wanted it to get quiet so they can make a toast or something like that. I have never heard of clinking the glass to get the couple to kiss but that seems interesting. Curious to see if others have heard of this also. Good discussion.
2 people like this
@reinydawn (11643)
• United States
23 Jun 09
We've always done this. I was really mystified to find that others haven't...
@mentalward (14690)
• United States
22 Jun 09
I've never heard of that before. Maybe it's a local thing?
I know that there are many ways that traditions get started and they don't always become universal.
Everything I've always considered "traditional" are usually done at the weddings I've attended, like the groom taking the garter off of his bride's leg and throwing it to the bachelors, or the bride throwing her bouquet to the single gals. The cutting of the wedding cake and the bride and groom linking arms and feeding each other the first piece has always been a tradition, to me, at least. Also, the first drink, whether it be champagne or any other beverage, is usually done the same way.
But, those are all of the things I've always thought of as traditional. Normally, when someone clinks their glass, it means that they want to give a toast.
@reinydawn (11643)
• United States
23 Jun 09
Well, it can't be local because I've been to weddings here, in the north, in the west... I also thought maybe just my family does it, but I've seen it done at friends weddings... I'm really stumped...
One thing I know not all people do is the dollar dance. And even the ones that do it do it differently... Some just collect the dollar to dance with the bride, others offer a shot of whiskey afterwards, some circle the bride afterwards and the groom has to "break" the circle to get his bride... I know that not everyone does that - although it is a good way for the bride and groom to start off, with all that cash!
@rogue13xmen13 (14403)
• United States
23 Jun 09
I have before and I got the same reaction from people, but I really did not care because I needed something to drink and the drink was there.
@Debs_place (10520)
• United States
28 Jun 09
I have seen that at wedding many times, and as you said, it can get obnoxious. The last wedding I went to, in May, they did not do it. Come to think of it, I do not remember seeing it done in any wedding I have been to in the Hudson valley.
In Buffalo, NY it was a major tradition.
1 person likes this
@casinocat (284)
• United States
25 Jun 09
Hi reiny! I haven't been to myLot in ages.
Personally, I have never seen this clinking for a kiss. Over the years, I really haven't been to very many weddings, though. In movies, I've seen where one person clinks his glass to silence the room for a toast.
So I asked my husband, who used to be a wedding DJ. He has seen this at a few receptions he's done. His only comment was that it usually annoyed the bride. I think it sounds like a fun thing, especially when you said sometimes the bride and groom have to search for each other from opposite sides of the room.
1 person likes this
@reinydawn (11643)
• United States
26 Jun 09
Yes, it does get to be annoying. I still find it strange that this is really an isolated tradition...
@reinydawn (11643)
• United States
28 Jun 09
I really don't know. I've been different places and they've done it... Not sure, but I think people in the south don't do it.
@blueunicorn (2401)
• United States
29 Jun 09
Wow, I would have just assumed everyone knew that meant to kiss, too. I'm surprised at the responses. Now I've learned my item for the day!
1 person likes this
@reinydawn (11643)
• United States
30 Jun 09
It seems like the majority of the people don't do this. That's just really strange for me, I grew up with this tradition!
1 person likes this
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
26 Jun 09
I think I've seen that type of thing in movies and that is where I had heard about it, but to be honest I'd have to say that until I read this post, I would probably do the same thing which is stare. My fiance and I are getting married, and I know I don't expect to hear any clinking glasses, or dixie cups as the case may be, but If they do and no one says anything then I guess we'll know now to kiss. I'm sure the situation was awkward for you and your husband as well as for the bride and groom. Of course others looking on must have also been embarrassed. My fiance and I are getting married but with not the traditional manner. In a church, but no dress, lol, etc.
I hope you had fun at the wedding nonetheless.
1 person likes this
@reinydawn (11643)
• United States
28 Jun 09
Oh we had a great time!!! The weather was awesome, it was just really great! I'm a bit sunburned, but that's always to be expected when I'm outside...
1 person likes this
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
29 Jun 09
You burn easy? So do I, maybe not as easy as some, but I do. I went to the beach without wearing any sunscreen and was a peeling so bad that it looked like I was dirty, I was only out there for a few hours too.
1 person likes this
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
27 Jun 09
Have fun! I don't know about where you are, but where we are it's definitely been warm enough for a beach wedding, lol!
1 person likes this
@singlemommy (2955)
• United States
24 Jun 09
Honestly, I have never heard of this before. It does sound really neat though.
1 person likes this
@reinydawn (11643)
• United States
24 Jun 09
This really blows my mind. I thought more people would have heard of it, but I guess it's not as common as I thought!
@merlinknight (24)
• Philippines
26 Jun 09
Here in the philippines, we do that. Clinking anything in oder to make sounds and make the newly weds kiss each other. The newly weds also have their 1st dance and let the entourage or the visitors pin moneys to the gowns and tux of the couple. It's fun really when you see one but I think every country had different traditions but I really love clinking glasses to make the newly weds have their kiss...
1 person likes this
@reinydawn (11643)
• United States
26 Jun 09
Hey, I like that pinning the money thing! I might see if I can get that to catch on up here. We also do a dollar dance, where everyone gives the new bride a dollar to dance with her.
@GardenGerty (160696)
• United States
23 Jun 09
I was in my forties the first time I saw this, and it does not happen at every wedding I attend by any means. However, usually crowds catch on quickly.
1 person likes this
@reinydawn (11643)
• United States
23 Jun 09
This is the first wedding I've been to that didn't do it... Very strange. I need to find out what the origin of this wedding was.
@angelajoy (1825)
• Philippines
23 Jun 09
Yes, I've heard of that. We actually do that often in weddings here in my country. I guess it's a cultural thing. In weddings I don't usually start the clinking of glasses, but if I do get the urge to start it I'll make sure that the people know what it means before I do it.
1 person likes this
@reinydawn (11643)
• United States
23 Jun 09
I try not to do it too much because sometimes it does get old. But it is cute a few times to do it.
@jobear90 (35)
• United States
24 Jun 09
I am not sure where this tradition comes from but it has been done at every wedding that I can remember. Sometimes it would take some encouraging the first time because not everyone will know what it is all about but it doesn't take long and everyone there knows what to do.
@reinydawn (11643)
• United States
24 Jun 09
I am finding that more and more people do not know about this. I think we should spread the word!
@vicky09 (8)
• China
23 Jun 09
We have different customs in different region. There is not a universal rlues about trdiontion. Maybe somebody do something that is not the as others do, how ever, it is normal , since we may focus on different activities, we may have fun when seeing the others are comfotable. oppositely , someone like to have fun in other's embarressment. So never mind their opions,they just be suprised at your kind heart,
1 person likes this
@reinydawn (11643)
• United States
23 Jun 09
It is kinda cool seeing other people's traditions. It feels strange though when they don't know yours.
