Broke up after more than 4 years...

You just need to be strong and fight the urge to call him, believe me we have all been there you just need time, because if he was cheating on you throughout the relationship that simply means he did not love you enough to be faithful. You need to just let him go and whenever you are feeling low just think of all the things he did to you while you guys were still involved, believe me it does get better.

First of all congrats on getting out of a bad relationship. And comon you feeling sad, and feel like a loser? it happens to all of us. That's why breakup is supposed to be sad. But you'll get over it. People always do. If you want to,l get a rebound guy. Someone smart. I know people would not recommend it, but hey it works. Or you could h chat o/l with some smart guy here on mylot....chat as in use yahoo, or s/t And donot call him. donot not call him. It will make things worse. I know it from personal experience. Once you breakup, stay broken up.....esp if he is wrong. I made the mistake of calling one girl I broke up with, because I was bored. Dun ask what happened. It ended up in me wanting to kill her. So cheer up. He was a rascal, and u dumped him....Good for you

Scarletwitch am sorry about your breakup. Four years is a long time and getting over with it is not easy. I know its really hard for you, it would have been hard for anyone. If I was you I would have been definitely tempted to forget that he ever cheated on me and would have gone back to him. I would have gotten what I wanted, but that would have been disrespectful on me. Let it all out, don't pretend you're ok when you're not, but just try to make an effort to get done with a relationship that you know will be wasted if you tried getting back and move on. I know this has crushed your self-image so in the meantime pay more attention to yourself, LOVE yourself, try to boost your image up, it will help a lot get over.

True love really hurts and the pain won't go away easily but it does fade with time. There are no remedies or quick fix for you to feel numb, for whether you like it or not he has been part of your life for the last four years and whether you' accept it or not you'd both had been through a lot both good and bad and that can't easily be stowed away from your heart or from your mind. I've been there and believe things are going to get tough, for the measure of your love to him would also be the measure of how much time and effort you'll need to forget him.

Scarlet witch, I am so sorry you feel lost and are feeling the pain of a broken heart. He was your world for four years and letting that go will take time . You need to heal right now , and become as strong as you can , and understand that you deserve better . You have to let him know that yes you love him , but if he can't see what he did is wrong , and if he can't become a real man you dont ever want him back . You did nothing wrong , and yes even I blame myself ... But it was him and you are not a loser at all. Time for you is the key . Give yourself one month and go from there . Maybe you will see you can live without him and will find happiness. Best of luck dear

i think that he really loves you coz he did'nt leave you for the girl he got a child with.. but you're not the one who should make the first move of getting back together.

Well calling would be the last option you need to consider. I think if you call this will just give him the clue that you could not resist him and I think the cycle continues and you will be the losing end in this game of his. I suggest that you should learn to heal yourself and him being around is just a temporary thing to relieve the pain that you are experiencing. I think letting go is a good choice for you. After four years of being lied to I guess you should be in a denial stage that you are craving for his attention again.

scarletwitch12, Like the rest of the members here, I do not for one moment doubt his wolf under sheep clothing disguise and you still do not see the point. Well, let me put this straight to you, some man will resort to all means just to get into your pants. Forget about his lovey dovey acts when he has ulterior motives that itself is not a loving act but one of downright despicable and LUSTFUL. I cannot help but chide the reason(s) that he gave you for his misdemeanors with the 3 other women and a kid. Just think and wonder what did he say to each of the other 3 women. I am sure there are some similar despicable words. I really cannot say much for him except that he is really a disgrace to all the good men here. You just deserve better, so wake up and move on. This tree is really not worth your attention and tending. Take care and have a nice day.

He has betrayed you scarlet, he has hidden many truth of his life with you. How can you trust him again when he has not share these very important things with you in life, and now he has a one year son too. I know you still love him because I can understand 4 years is not 4 days and you are bound to love him in all these years, I am also with someone for 3 years and I wonder if he has done the similar thing to me then I might be loving him after that even if he has betrayed me but I would eventually concentrate more on my life too after he has gone. So it pains and it hurts when you want to talk to him, to make him answer many questions of yours, to touch him once, to share your feelings with him and he is not even there with you. You can call him though even if he has gone and you have a right to feel good again scarlet, as you are a human being who once loved a person more than your life. But do remember that sometimes letting go might be the hardest choice but it is not necessarily the wrong choice. You can be having someone better in life who deserve your true love and trust.

Like the others responses, i agree for to not call him, and let him go. Maybe you'll never forget about him, because it's a 4 years relationship and it wont ever forget, and i know that... I was had a boyfriend for 4,5 years, he's my colleges, we was so in love (or maybe i'm the one who was too much in to him). I've already know and close with his family too... we had so much things good and bad together, we smile and sad together, until we've graduated and he's a job in other city. After he worked for a year he started had a close girlfriend, first he wont admitted that there is a relationship between them, but i had this feeling that there's something wrong with him... then he admitted it. So i asked him, if he wanted us to finished i'd agree, so we've finished now... Months after we broke up, i confused about what am i going to do, i felt empty, i felt that something missing, and i dont know what i have to do to filled the time that we used to do together... But then i started thinking that maybe we're not together because we didnt meant to be together, maybe it's not the best for us, i'm not the best for him and he's not he best for me, there must be someone which is the best for me, and better than him for me. The tought of that can make you feel easier to forget about him and to move your life... And now, i already found the one for me, and we've married and have a family :). So... you just let everything go and start searching for someone best for you... OK???

please sweetheart donot call him up...you are strong i know that..every woman has strength inside them..some know about it and some don't..no matter how week you feel ,you must know that you are strong!very very strong!and you have to survive..for your kid..and for all the good life can get you!i may sound very cliched...but i can tell you a few pointers on how to feel happy...spend more time with your kid....and other kids too...join a ngo..do good for others..do good to animals and troubled souls...be good and good will come to you:)..but please dont go back to your negative past...dont go back to your guy..no matter how tempted you feel.. you are strong and you will find a way out and you'l smile like never before!trust me!!:) :)

Scarlet MOVE ON!! i know that it must be hard to hear this but hey you need to do it. I know you can do better!!! Come on he had 3 other women and a child amy be more than one. If you get back with him you will just be killing yourself. He does not deserve you!! And he hasn't even tried to call you or maybe explain himself!! I dontl even think there can be an explanation for what he did. I can't believe he did this to you. He was living a double no a triple life. I know you must miss him but trust me time heals all. You will find someone else that will treat you the way you want to be treated they way you should be treated. Give it time you will be much better than you are now. I wish you the best of luck and joy in your life. Take care of yourself and if you ever need anything add me and i will be more than happy to help you out. I too used to be in a 4 yr relationship for nothing. But i do thank him beacause i learned alot in the time i was with him. Like not falling for a dumb butt like him. LOL!!!! Everything is a lesson from GOD and he will never give you more than you can handle. Hope I helped you out, Maria

hi, I share the fair share of your problem as me too was cheated, and its bad. If you think calling him will make you feel better, you may consider, however, you will have to make clear that you will regret after that, as you might be humiliated by him as you are the one that go to him first, as he no longer wanted to call you. He also be busy to entertain the others too and won't have time for you! Maybe that 1 call, you may be able to realise he is not that important to you anymore... go ahead and call, if that will make you feel good and better.. :)

I hate to say this but you are the perfect type of personality to put up with abuse.You really are. You have extremely low esteem. You miss this man that cheated on you with 3 different women and had a child with one...all behind your back. Did you cheat on him? I am guessing ...not even once. I understand the shock of finding out that you've been decieved by someone you love but you are feeling like a loser when you have done nothing wrong. He should be the one feeling like a loser and you should be very angry. You are not going to die alone even tho i'm sure it feels it right now. You are blaming yourself here for not being "good enough" for some guy that most women would run from. you have a very low esteem. You need to pick yourself up and do things to build up your esteem. you deserve much better than this.

I am sure that you are feeling hurt right now. Four years is quite long enough and that would surely bring much pain to you. But considering what he has done, it is never your fault. If you call him it would give him the idea that everything is alright. Well, he has deceive you for four years and considering this, I do not think that he is all worth it.