Odd Surname: Will You Be Marrying One?
By Daddy Neil
@neildc (17239)
Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
June 28, 2009 7:57pm CST
Hi, Dear mylotters,
Please don't misundestood me, my dear mylotters, with this discussion. This one actually for my step-daughter who is already a teen-ager and you how teens act when it comes to relationship, courtship status and love. I also do not want to sound a racist here, so please bear with me.
There are some surnames (family name) that sounds good and some we really know that it is of good family. In our place, we have "Mendoza", "Chavez" and "Gonzalez". Sounds latin but these are foreign names that we've got from the World Wars. We also have local names like "Sumilang", "Mapa" and "Lapis".
We have neighbor/friends who has an odd surname. It came to happen that one of their kids and my step-daughter were classmates and they were teased to be sweethearts. But my step-daughter said, "I don't wanna get my beautiful name changed with his. It's so yucks."
If you are a girl and you like your name very much, will you marry a boy with an odd surname?
Or if you have something you dislike with your surname, will you still marry one who has an odd surname?
For parents, will you let your girl marry with him?
Or will it is your feelings, your love, that prevails over the name?
Will name matters to you?
5 people like this
17 responses
@tamarafireheart (15384)
•
29 Jun 09
Hi Neil,
I don't really think a name matters as long as you both love each other, but you can change your name by deed poll, my sister once went out with a man whsoe name is Kettle, needless to say she didn't end up marrying him but married a man with a Scottish comon name and years later divorce him and married another man with a surname of Watts, so we always teased her with having bright ideas,(light bulbs?) lol! hugs.
Tamara
1 person likes this
@neildc (17239)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
2 Jul 09
Dear Tamara,
That really is a good story of hers. Thanks...
Neil
@doryvien (2284)
• United States
29 Jun 09
It mattered to me when I was younger. Anybody who gets interested in me (I mean romantically) needs to have a common family name, or at least something that sounds normal. Having a relationship with someone with an odd name was just out of the question. But when I got older and wiser(lol), my list of "qualifications" changed as well - stability, education and family background came first before the surname. I ended up with guy with a not-so-common-surname but not odd either.
My kids are all boys, so this is not an issue to me now. And I've come to realize that the person's character is more important than his/her name. What's in a name anyway? Peace!
@neildc (17239)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
2 Jul 09
Thanks for the nice response here, doryvien. I really don't want to post the name because I don't want to be misinterpreted. If you want to know the name, please add me so I can pm you, not in this post, I guess. Thanks again...
1 person likes this
@o0jopak0o (6394)
• Philippines
29 Jun 09
well if you love a person, name or odd surname is not really a problem. it is too small to let it hinder a couples love.
1 person likes this
@pickoy (733)
• Philippines
29 Jun 09
Oh i totally understand what you mean... I like my surname better but I love my husband so I have no choice, lol. My love for him far outweighs his surname. Besides I'm so proud to be his wife coz he's such a good man. It's not his fault too to inherit such a name it came from his father remember?
@neildc (17239)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
30 Jun 09
Oh yes, I understand. There would be no turning back with love.
@eileenleyva (27560)
• Philippines
29 Jun 09
neildc, the surname matters to me, just as I do not like boys with tattoos and pierced ears or lips or tongues courting my daughters. Parents must not be meddlesome when it comes to their children's affairs of the heart. But our children could do with the wisdom of the old. Do a little discouraging. I tell my girls that if a surname is not good, somewhere amongst the ancestors, someone had done that bad thing. So, the name was coined. I might be going to far... see first if your step-daughter is really in love. I don't think she is yet.
@neildc (17239)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
30 Jun 09
Actually, the name thing started to be discussed in the house when she was in 2nd year. When 3 of her siblings all have the same surname, she told us that what if she change her name, so we would be all have the same family name. But I told her that changing name would go through some legal proceedings and will be so expensive. The easiest and the cheapest way is to get married.
2 people like this
@incredibleDNA (1742)
• Philippines
29 Jun 09
Hey it really doesn't matter if your guy's surname is odd and stinky. I mean, there are really stinky odd names but you just don't judge it like that. Love is not measured by odd surname so I really think that this can be a hindrance if you're trying to get married with someone that you really love.
1 person likes this
@glesil_00 (1142)
• Philippines
29 Jun 09
Surname is not the reason that if you love someone you will not love the person. I known a teacher that marry a husband with odd surname "Regla". in Tagalog it is not good to hear, in English not bad to hear. Its love that you love all the person have even the surname is odd.
1 person likes this
@mentalward (14690)
• United States
29 Jun 09
Well, like the saying goes, "A rose by any other name will smell as sweet." Names mean nothing.
My first marriage was to a man whose surname was one I didn't like at all. I really liked my maiden name, Ward. It was easy, fast to write and whenever I said it, people knew how to spell it. I married a man whose surname was Schlenker. Not only did people not know how to pronounce it, but it sounded awful to me. I always had to spell it out for people who needed to write it down, too. When I divorced him, I went back to my maiden name.
The funniest thing happened whenver I had to write my parents name, my name and my doctor's name, too. They were all strange and all very similar: Schlenker, Schlenoff and Schlitzer. It was very weird!
I'd have no problem at all if I had a daughter who wanted to marry someone with an odd surname. It is something she would have to live with, not me. Names mean nothing to me, really. It's the person behind the name that is important.
@spalladino (17891)
• United States
29 Jun 09
Since this girl is a teenager odds are that she won't marry the boy so I would suggest to her that she just enjoy her relationship and not worry so much about the name issue right now. When she gets older, if she truly loves the young man, they will work out the name problem. Is it possible for your step-daughter to marry someone and keep her name? This is something that we do here. As a parent I would never let someone's name become an issue with one of my children's love life. Love is more important than a name. What is important to me is that the love and respect is genuine. By the way, I'm a nice Irish girl who, due to marriage, has a nice Italian name now. 
@sublime03 (2339)
• Philippines
29 Jun 09
I have the same dilemma as your step-daughter but I do not see it as a hinderance to marry my husband. I have a really nice last name and ever since I was younger I always tease myself I will not change my last name even if I get married because it really sounds nice already as it is. But when I met my husband, my perception of changing my last name changed. I really did not care anymore at first then after awhile I then realized it is something I have to get used to because when I say my name with his last name its so different.
@lkumarldh (142)
• India
29 Jun 09
i think its a very perasonal matter for everyone. But if you are asking it so i think there is nothing in name or else. Names are created only by us people. God has made us alike. He has given us same parts of body to everyone. So i think yoyu should not worry about surname. You just think that your daugther's future is secure nothing else.
1 person likes this
@megha_gupta (132)
• India
29 Jun 09
Well I will definately marry the one I love even if he has a unique or a funny surname. Because I think its the person that matters the most and its not necessary that you take the surname of the man you marry, you can even continue with your maiden name. :)
1 person likes this
@vingyan06 (2486)
• Malaysia
29 Jun 09
Will name matters to me? I would say NO. If you love some one and if you want to marry him, I think the name is not the issue. For your step daughter, she might think not to have an odd name aftr marry his classmate. Well just teen ager have different thinking from a parents. She grows older then will have other way of mature thinking.
1 person likes this
@surfermac (465)
• India
29 Jun 09
ya it should be based on the person if he is good for is heart then she should not see the surname and love matters not the surname
1 person likes this
@underdogtoo (9579)
• Philippines
29 Jun 09
I would have to say that some names might sound funny but when they first thought of giving a name for their families, I would have to conjecture that they thought long and hard about the name which would describe the qualities that they had. Cheers!!!
1 person likes this
@Seppy1984 (2145)
• United States
29 Jun 09
Well for me, I think it should be based on how much you love the person rather then surname. My maiden name is McDonald and my married name is Fink. But come to find out that if my hubby's ancestors decided not to shorten the name when they came over here that my name would have been Finkenburg instead of Fink. Now if my hubby's name was that, would I still marry him well the answer is yes because the only thing that matters is that I love my hubby. Now your step-daughter might be in phrase and it can change as she gets older. If not then I wish her luck in finding a guy that will change his name. Which now days I guess a guy can change their surname if they want to the girls. But then again she might get very lucky and be able to keep her beautiful last name along with the guy keeping his last. I would not worry about right now because she is not even to that road with marriage. I hope this does not defend you with how I put it.
Happy Mylotting
@janebeth (2032)
• Philippines
16 Jul 09
hi neil,
it really don't matters to me, for as long that we are happy and he has a very good background, why not..?? there's lot of wonderful surnames there but their families and relatives are killer or something, lol.. it can't affect my status if my partners surname is bad to read and hear..
janebeth..
