You don't Fart in bed do you ?
By mrsdave
@mrsdave (95)
Australia
November 12, 2006 5:47pm CST
Well Don't Fart in Bed ..lol
This is a story about a couple who had been happily
married for
years. The only friction in their marriage was the
husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when
he awoke.
The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make
her eyes water and make her gasp for air.
Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping
them off because it was making her sick. He told her
he couldn't stop
and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see
a
doctor. She was concerned that one day he would blow
his guts out.
The years went by and he continued to rip them out!
Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the
turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep,
she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey
innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare
parts and a malicious thought came to her.
She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband
was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed
covers, she pulled
back the elastic waistband of his underpants and
emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.
Some time later she heard her husband waken with his
usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood
curdling scream and
the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the
bathroom.
The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on
the floor
laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture
she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.
About twenty minutes later, her husband came
downstairs in his
bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his
face.
She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter.
He said, "Honey, you were right. All these years you
have warned me
and I didn't listen to you.
"What do you mean?" asked his wife.
"Well, you always told me that one day I would end up
farting my guts out, and today it finally happened.
But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and these two
fingers, I think I got most of them back in.
2 people like this
4 responses
@CraftyCorner (5600)
• United States
30 Apr 08
I'm cleaning coffee off my keyboard!!!!
*
Oh but I don't need to rip covers off my bed. The 'blow-munition' sends the comforter flying across the room! One time, a cat was in it.
@mtdewgurl74 (18151)
• United States
25 Apr 08
Now this is hilarious! I gave me a good laugh.My husband does this from time to time mostly at night though he would kill me if I did such a thing to him. Would be a sight though..lol