None of you are real, says the world's foremost expert on Friends...

I am totally on your side of this! I hate when people make reference to the fact that people they know online cant be real friends! I have a few friends on a blogging community that I have yet to meet in person. That doesnt make them any less my friends though! One of them, I am going to visit and meet for the first time next month. I cant wait. It should be awesome because we already know each other. I think part of the problem is that so many people are fake on the internet. They act like something they are not. So they cant really form friendships online because they are pretending to be someone else! I hope your husband is able to find a good friend or two soon! I agree that friends are very important!

Pfffftttttt! Two of the best friends I have are from online. The thing is, I have met them face to face. However, the internet is where those friendships started. A "chance" meeting, running into each other on the street, or in an airport or any other place was pretty slim. So, I would have to disagree that online friends are not friends. Now, could you send me money to pay my internet service so that we can continue to not be real friends?

He's arguably right in some ways I guess, because an online friendship certainly lacks many of the qualities of a physical friendship. BUT, there are significant benefits to the rise in online interactions and as Dylan said "The times they are a changin'!". Society as a whole tends to be withdrawing into itself in my opinion. Our face-to-face communication skills are deterriorating for one and we seem to find it harder and harder to confront certain realities of our life, our pains and our flaws in the real world. An online persona provides us with a cloak of anonymity, it allows us to be more free with our expression and our communication because we tend to feel less inhibited. We can let it all out and then retreat back into reality better for doing so and without any fear of being truly held accountable by those who face us every day. Based on this, we find ourselves becoming attached to people we never met physically and probably never will, because they allow us to be US and we gain strength from that. In many instances, these online friendships are more genuine than many we'd have in the real world because of the subjects we've shared with each other, because of the truthfulness in our words that we'd never dare to utter to someone's face; because of the open and honest communication that we can comfortably create, safe in the knowledge that we're ultimately "invisible". This man is obviously critical because this is something he doesn't know. Is it not a port of call for many of us to condemn something of which we know little about? He's also probably struggling to come to grips with the fact that his Wife had close relationships with people outside of himself and maybe confided in them in a way she never could with him. Guilt is probably playing a part here too and he's now reaching out to you and pushing the boundaries because deep down he too wants to be able to communicate openly with someone, he just doesn't quite know how. There's one part of him wishing to do whatever he can to discredit the possibility of an online friendship ever being something worthwhile, yet there's another part of him that craves what it could offer. I never commented in your discussion about your friend, so I'm sorry for your loss. We should never, ever underestimate ANY medium that provides the means for people to open up and COMMUNICATE freely with each other. I do believe that we should also have a healthy balance of real world interaction as well, but an online friendship has significant merit and can make a tremendous difference in a person's life. Hopefully one day this man will come to realise the same as I'm sure he could benefit from it just as we all have. Jeez you've had some discussions that've made me crap on lately Dawn. lol.

I'm sorry he feels that way, Dawn. It must make it very hard for you. The only friends I have anymore are online and without them I would be completely alone. Of course there are people that I chat with casually, but there are others that I've had a much closer relationship with and can truly call friends. Don't know where I'd be today without them. Of course you have to be careful who you associate with and how, but that would bear well with any relationship, even a so-called 'real' one. Methinks he needs to catch up with the times and see what the world is all about in the 21st century.

I'd have to disagree with your hubby on that. Although it is true that there is a real gap with any online relationship. But I also believe that everything remains to be seen in time. True enough you cannot determine how deep an online friendship would be with someone who may be on the other side of the world. It's like when we all went to school. We meet hundreds of people each day. Nod, wave a hand, a handshake perhaps and more. But we stick to a close pack in school right. The ones we can safely call our immediate and closest in school. The rest are just cliche but nevertheless you still consider them your friends at a certain degree. If you are popular in school they are your followers or fans if you wanna put it that way. But the only true friends that you have are those that are within your reach, those that are there for you. Online friends can be that way too regardless of the distance between them. At some point you still some form of support from these friends in some way. Those who you feel are closest to you online are those that really give a damn. But it is also a wise advice not to be too trusting online simply because there are professional scammers out there who can penetrate your good nature and abuse your trust. I have to say I did get a handful of friends online and have been quite close to them still at present. I hope my post has shed some light to this discussion. Bottom line is that online friends ship is not an abnormal relationship and after all if its good there's nothing to be freaked out about it. But be wary of those who also want to take advantage of everyone. Cheers!

Dawn - I really do not know how to tell you this but I will now confess. I am out to scam you. My friendship is not real - it is all in your head. ASnd the photos I sent to you last night? They were imaginary too.I really had nothing going on in my life so I decided to scam you.

Not true I guess your Hubby does not understand at all But many People think that way, because they have not tried it and just do not believe it happens You will not convince him till he tries it himself

Well, first things first. Yep, i am a real person, living in a real world, and i do talk to people all the time on the computer. Second, this is your husband that you are referring to, right? Perhaps you need to spend some quality time with your husband, so that he is more at ease. I am in no way, saying that you don't spend time with him, just to spend some quality time with him. Get out and go somewhere with him, and make him feel special for a change. You would be surprised at the difference.

Yes As One My Fellow MyLotters Said it is online we meet fake personalities .... You Dont meet them the Next time May be when yu decided to meet that person .... Do Lotting on MyLot ...... It is Real Fun .....

i'm not real? whoo hoo no more bills for me! sounds like it's a wonder he has any friends,on or offline opinionated as that. yea,there's some people online that are less than "real" with people or anything.. but every now and then you find some gems,and you're right,you might not have met them otherwise.

Possibly he doesn't know how to go about it. And instead of trying it, he vents it out at whoever will listen. My husband couldn't stand the computer when he didn't understand the ins and the outs. Now he sends emails everyday. He doesn't chat as much with his friends but when he does its almost nonstop. Maybe it's just the lack of trust in others, with everything that goes on now-a-days it is harder to trust.

He seems to be out of his nuts. The only difference between online friends and real life friends is that the latter has the access of physical proximity. And can see eye to rye. Here everything happens save that. we fight, we have stress and tension, we have emotion, we cry, we laugh and do almost everything. Just the other day Ocean met her mylot friend in person. And what about that?

Some people do not believe we can make friends without having to see them face to face. Can you imagine how it first went with the telephone? Still we have scams going on through that device as well. The point is that the good out weighs the bad so much that most have accepted the telephone. With the internet we have skeptics which if that is what the feel then they have that right to believe. Anyway as for the internet, YES we can make life long good friends. I have from more than just the US as well. In my situation at this time I have had these people help me by sending me help. I do the same for them when I can. Also I do have a place to go if I loose my home here. All because we took the time online to get to know each other as friends over the years. Laughed together, cried together, etc. For some this is hard to grasp, they have that right to feel that way.

Men and husbands, just like women and wives do have varied opinions. Some adverse while others are supportive and i am grateful to have been blessed with a husband who not only support the friendships i enjoy online but is also interested in knowing about my friends! He also looks at my friends pictures and he drops in a line or two when i talk with a friend thru pm. He joins in the fun and we laugh together while reading some friends' funny stories! I know there are many people who are just like my hubby and me who believes there are real friends online. We both enjoy each other's company. We know we can't be together 24 hours a day Monday to Friday. We both have jobs and since we work for the same company we also share the same friends, the same acquaintances. Although it is really just me getting most of the time using the computer because of mylot, we are still normal people who need each other's attention and we always make sure we have quality time together. The point here is "there are real friendships" online just as there are real friends that we come in contact with in our life, friends that we see and touch and converse with face to face. Well, here i am, a normal person who is happy with real friends! And i would be even happier if you accept me to be your real friend. Hello dawn! Do you think you could be my real friend, too?

This husband has obviously never got to the point where he has needed outside support because he would understand. I have gained many online friends thru diabetic support and lost a few of those along the way. These people helped me get thru a very trying time when finances were bad and there was on medical resouces for help with spiraling out of control health issues.

There is a "real" friendship online. And then there's the "fake" friendship in reality, even if you shake his hand, talk to him face to face, etc. What I'm saying is, you can have many real friends online. I do, in other forums. And I know several of them, who got married right after they met personally.

Sounds like there has been a really big dispute between husband and wife. Well, you could both be right and wrong. Being friendless does not really mean something is seriously wrong with a person. Perhaps, you two just can't gracefully agree to disagree? Your hubby is right when he says that online friendships aren't really "real." In a sense, they aren't for many people who feel the need to look eye to eye, see the person in real, and so on and so forth. However, many people do consider online friendships to be just as "real" and real-life friendships. :) Cheers and happy Mylotting

I think these friendships are as real as any that you are able to have with someone you can look at. We are becoming a global community and it is difficult to talk face to face with someone on the other side of the world. This is the same as talking to someone on the phone without the long distance charge. It sounds like your friend might have a problem. I know after I got involved with some cancer survivors, I have some friends all over the world and we do chat or email often. Online is a great way to communicate and if your "friend" is not able to see that and is smothering you, it might be good to take a break from him.

Hi Dawn, We haven't become friends yet but I am without a doubt, sure that we will be. I think your hubby is jealous of your time with your online friends because it means that you are not available for him. I know this because I have one like him. We actually met online on Match.com. Ironic isn't it? He can be sitting and using his laptop and make a comment that he never gets any time with me because I'm always online. Which I'm not!! They just can't help themselves. I just ignore mine. He knows better. Hang in there sweetie. Hugsssss leenie

Ok then let me say this,Hi Dawns hubby how are ya? My name is Shell. I've been chatting with your wife off and on now for oh about I think 2 years? Well since shortly after Yuwie land began. Anyhow firstly it was just a few comments here and there, then a few more, now we've moved up to she makes me laugh my behind off, and I'm really truly greatful for that, because I need a good laugh, and at the same time I consider her enough of a friend that if I had something personal to discuss with her which I think I might have once or twice, maybe I need some advice, or even if she needed someone to listen to her I'd be happy to prop my ear, or in this case my eyes up. So if that doesn't make friendship by golly please tell me what does. I'm pleased to meet you, and oh by the way,.. get yourself a paypal account and join mylot under your wife, come on in and discuss with us and have some fun, make yourself some friends. You'd be amazed some of the stuff you can learn, or read about here! Oh do please clear it with Dawn first though because this might just be her little home away from home, well and sometimes we don't want our hubbies involved in these things LOL P.S.- I am in some way being sarcastic, but this is sincere also. I consider my online friends exactly that, friends, and those that are acquaintances just acquaintances, yet I still show them the same respect. p.s.s.- I met my husband in a yahoo chat room he lived in new york I in Washington state,.. long story short I was yelling at some jerks picking on a girl friend, hubby laughed at me because my spanish sucked so I yelled at him,, next thing you know we chatted for 3 years, he came here to WA xmas eve of 05 was supposed to go back to NY January 4th of 06, well we got married May of 06! I'm living proof online friendships can be sincere