what wiLL you do if yOur Boyfriend had a baby in his past relationship??

Why would you advise anyone that the guy needs to be more concern with the girlfriend that his baby? Shame on you!!! Seriously I hope you never have kids because your kids will always need to be put first before another girl etc. Wow... like this completely surprised me. At first I thought you'd be asking if you'd date someone - but seriously asking if the girl needs to be priority #1 - wow.

i guess that shouldn;t be an issue. you have to accept the person for who he really is, no matter what he's been through in the past. and if s/he loves the kid and is a big part of his/her life, then you should be willing to accept them in yours too. :)

It's funny because last night, i was asking the same question to an imaginary someone. It was raining mad last night and the power was cut off so there's nothing to do but to think of things and so i came up with your topic. What if i impregnated someone from the past, how will my future partner take it? So pardon me if i can't give you an answer right now. I guess the best thing to do is to tell the truth than to find out about it later in the future where everything is set.

I think when i love someone.I will think the song " Love me love my dog." You don't think i will mean his daughter is a dog, but you may know about the song meaning.I don't think his daughter to be a problem.

hi janebeth!!!! for me all of us had a mistakes but then we have a second chance in this world.... yah that's true all important is the presents but do remember that boy had a past relationship w/ another girl and they have a baby so he is responsible for that baby ...and if the girl can accept that it's doesn't matter their relationship...and that situation is already accepted in the society...God bless...

hey janebeth. this one's hard. Accepting the fact that her boyfriend has a baby could make her a martyr. I think you should consider you're friend's feelings first before anything else. Though her boyfriend clearly lied to her in the first place. You're advice is nice too. You can go for it but don't be blinded by the words of her boyfriend. peace!Ü

Okay, maybe I'm coming at this from the wrong direction but here it is... either way the guy is a loser... no matter what happened with this baby's mother.. if he's a father then he should be around and acting like one... for him to put his new girlfriend ( I know she's your friend and I'm sorry if this sounds harsh) ahead of his child is sooo very wrong. A child cannot be in your past. If he's a father, he'd better step up and be one. I was in a relationship where my ex had a daughter and she was as welcome in my home as my own kids were. I with someone now who doesn't have children. But I come with 2 of them. My kids come first. I'd never date a guy who didn't see that. Your friend should decide if she really wants to be with someone who obviously doesn't even care much for his own child. That's not a person I'd have anything to do with personally.

I found that its rather hard to find a guy who does not have children already. If I was in your friends shoes I would lose my trust in that guy fast. Having a child cannot just be marked off as one's past life. A child should be loved and taken care of. I would be concerned about his attitude toward the child... Would he really do the same to a child from our relationship? Does he play an active role in the child's life? I believe that has women we need to use a guys behaviour towards his ex, his family members and friends to judge his character. We might not be quite accurate but those things forms a large part of who anyone really is. It would spare many of us the surprise element when the guy starts acting up and his true character comes to the fore. Its up to your friend to decide whether to stay or not but as for me... How a guy treats or relates to his kids, parents, siblings, ex, is very important in assessing who he really is. Even if he has reason to be nasty to any of those persons, how he does it is important. Keeping me in the dark about a child from a past relationship is grounds enough for me to say goodbye. I dont want to know what else I am going to have to bear the heartache of finding out along the way.

The baby should come first. First priority. She shouldn't compete with the baby. She just need to learn to love the baby too if she truly loves him. He must be some f*cked up dude for not even caring about his own kid. And I think he said the wrong thing. He should say "That's my life, you need to learn to love her and accept her".

her boyfriend had a baby or not which is not a most important things for her consideration,the key is loyal,he is not honest just look his action of hide.hide a such important things for your friend,but we dont know some detail between them,so we could't make any others judgement.

Since I am waiting for marriage, I will likely look for someone who also holds the same values. Thus if a girl had a child already, I would likely not consider her. However, if that was not the case, I would want to know as much about the past relationship as possible. Why did they break up? Is he paying child support? Does he treated her, or the child well, or poorly? This is important since people tend to treat new girlfriends and boyfriends, the same as old girlfriends and boyfriends. Thus if he is yelling and screaming, or cursing his old girlfriend over the phone, be ready because you'll be next. If he is refusing to own his responsibility for the child, the be ready because we you have one, he won't want that responsibility either.

I find that his response to her question about the baby seems like he's irresponsible. First he is not truthful to your friend. Second, he still feel not guilty for his attitude which is bad. I would have felt better if he would have confronted her on what actually happened to that child and it's mom. Instead, he refused to focus on his past. Like you adviced, ask your friend to find out why really he broke-off with his ex-girlfriend. Play the puzzle well and be careful, he may be dangerous!

Sad to hear about ur friend's story. That's his bf's past life and since now he is with your friend and if he really love her alot,he should not think of the past. Forget about it...and concentrate his relationship with your friend and love her truly. Relationship between 2 persons need a trust. if you friend trust her bf..then there is no way for her to worry about.

We all made mistakes in our life. What is important is how much the boy loves your friend and the level of commitment that he is willing to put into the relationship. Are they in love so deep that they are willing to get married and start their future together. If they are, then I don't think his past and the baby matters.

dear jane, i don't think the past matters. you know, me and my wife get into our present relationship with both been from a bit bitter past. she had 2 kids with her past relationship and i have a son with my former partner. we lived and still living together with the 3 kids. she even knew about my other other from my former girlfriend, and it's fine with her. so long as you love each other, the past is already past. face the present and your future plans for both of you and your own family to build. neil

i would feel cheated if i found out that some one i was with was keeping a huge secret like that! i would also wonder if he was a deadbeat parent because i would hope if you had a kid you would visit and i would have noticed him disappearing to visit the kid once in awhile.. if he was a deadbeat parent by his own choice i would really think hard on if i wanted to be with some one like that..

That boy friend should have revealed this to your friend in the start of the relationship.But he is honest that he accepted the fact and assured his sincerity to the future with your friend.So,she may take him as he is.One has to accept every qualities of the partner in their life.Cheers!

You don't the girl you date her family. In short, you don't just get the individual in a relationship you get all the skeletons of his past and jumps and quirks of his family. I think the friend has to be there for that mans child because rejecting it would make your friend look selfish. I know he may have not told her initially but if it wasn't intruding on their life too much does it really matter? If he was spending too much time and money over ther concern of this child then I think it would be time to panic. You must also look at what their previous relationship was like because if it was short and they only broke up because of the baby then you have to look at your friends relationship with that man and see if that man is a good boyfriend. I hope i helped a little

Granting the guy had a child from his past,that was his past and it has nothing to do with his heart and what he is feeling right now.The guy maybe loves your friend so much that is why he hide the truth about this child,but the child also doesn't have any mistakes for being born out of wedlock.Your friend should accept her bf and so with the kid.

Well love also means acceptance. If this boy doesnt know about it then no one can blame him. Just accept that the boy has a baby and continue their life. Never involve the baby on their problem, its so innocent for that. I advice to your friend that If she really love the boy she must not be selfish. Yes you advise right observe the boy. But according to the bible never question a person on how much you love him/here. Because love must not be measured and it is not measurable.