I have a very hard decision to make

hi marlena .. I do not have problem as yours but i would like to give you and advise .. You have to be more matured in the sence of relationship with your mother .. You not necessarily cut off all your conection with your "evil mother" as you call her ... you just have to be yourself with her .. Do not allow what she does to affect you in any ways .. after all she wont be around long ... I believe you are not staying with your mother, which means you spend lesser times with her .. Why not you just allocate 3 hours during your weekend to visit her and say hello to her .. Do not allow her or even tell her where you stay, keep your money in the savings ... if you want during your visitation give her some cash as a responsibility of a child Your children are your treasure .. why do you bother to make her like your children, your concern should be "I LOVE MY KIDS" Again .. do not end your relationship with your mother but keep a distance cheers

My parents are "different" there always has to be drama and problems. When I was younger I lived out of state and ended up moving back, closer to them. They tell my kids when they see them that they would love a visit from them and when they go all they do is play head games and talk bad about any family member that doesn't visit them on a regular basis. It's almost like they like to see everyone with problems and try to cause more. There's alot more to this story, but the details are better left unsaid. I think the farther away from them I am, the better. When I hear one of my sisters or brothers telling me about a recent visit, I feel better that I'm not going and hanging around there. Staying away is like a load of bricks being lifted off my shoulders. Sometimes on holidays I start to feel a little guilty for not going over but if I did, there would be more games & drama that I would rather not deal with.

Keep the distance if she is evil. Being in contact with her is bad for you. if she is a bad person she doesn't deserve you in relationship with her, period.

I am really moved reading the problems you suffered that's very sad to have none loving us in life, your 2 children are the only hope of your life, don't worry about the things beyond your control, concentrate on your children and you can live peacefully with them.

With my experience of life, I would like to offer soluitons to problems. But my experienced mind tells me that there is somehting amiss in this statement made by Marlena18042. This problem statement to me appears to be incomplete, or imagined, or both. Please do not mind my stating so. But my firm beLief is that every problem has a satisfactory solution. Only one should know it correctly.

Hmmm, that's sad, sorry for this I'd cut myself from her if I were you, I mean you dont need to think of her or her acts in the future. YOu can be honest with your kids and tell them that you dont agree with her or what she does and will have not further relation with her. Tell her not to contact you in any way and leave it this way. Just say you dont like her way of doing things and it is affecting your life and your future & your kids. Better than having to think and suffer over this, the past and the future What do you think?

Hello, I used to have bad experience with my mom before too and seem like no one understand me at all... but now thing work between us. I used to date this guy that my mom liked him so much and plan to marry me to him as well too. But when I was about to get marry him, she turned everything around, and she said he is not good enough for me and so far and so on. She made me left him with no reason... we both end up in different way and i was so hurt and he was the same. Then my mom told all of her friends how bad I am, told my brother I said bad word to her which I never did. One day, she read my diary and she saw me wrote something about her in there... I didn't write anything bad at all... I just said today is my stressful day which my mom ruined it. she doesn't like anyone write about her in anyone diary. She asked me to burn up my diary, so I did to make her happy, and down on my knee to sorry her as well. She said she forgive me right? but she told my brothers that she will never forgive me... everything seem so bad about me and most of my family doesn't like me anymore. But now she know who is good and who is bad... cuz her great great sons are ruining her now and she has no where to turn or have no one to talk to her... she comes to me. Im sorry to hear all the bad situation like this... but I had been through almost the same experience like you. She will never realized until something is teaching her... so let it be. leave her alone and be yourself. I think you are be yourself is better than messing around with her. so, don think too much

I don't have any close relatives who are evil. But you are totally within your rights to end your relationship with your mother if it's toxic. Treating two of your children differently would be a last straw for me. I'd say I agree with your counselor, especially for the children's sake.

Hi, this is a hard one to answer as i lost my mother when I was 17 and would do anything to bring her back...but would I want her back if she was as bad as yours? No I wouldnt, my relationship with my father is bad and I keep him at an arms distance, he is on the other side of the country and I see him about once a year...which is enough for me. Could you break the ties you have with your mother and just see her on occasions like christmas? If not, I would advise you to move away from her as soon as you can because you do not want your children growing up in fear of her...if you are away, you can live your life the way you want, and create your own family with your own morals. Just because she is family does not mean that you are indebted to her. There are plenty of people out there who can take her place...as an adult, our mother figure tends to be more of a friend who you can go shopping with and spend time chatting to...is there anyone around you that can fill this gap? I stopped looking for a mother figure about 10 years ago and have found peace in thinking that I now only need to look for a friend :) Whatever you decide, please consider your children and their future. Regards

I dont have problems like you but i can understand the pain as i am affected heavily due to relations.You dont need to struggle for this knid of relationship.If you have confidence that you dont need this i suggest you to cut it off.Before that you consider what you are doing is right or wrong. May peace be yours!!!