Stay or Move...
By twoey68
@twoey68 (13627)
United States
July 21, 2009 9:38am CST
At some point we all pass away and usually have very little say as to where our final moments are. Some die in the hospitals, in car wrecks, in homes…just about everywhere. Hopefully I will pass away quietly in my sleep. I wonder though if Hubby will still sleep in the bed where I pass away if I go first. I also wonder if he will stay in our apartment or want to move to another. My Dad lives in my Grandparents house and my Grandma died in the bathroom on the floor after having a stroke. My Grandpa died in a hospital though.
I was reading recently about the couple in Florida that were murdered recently and their oldest daughter is moving back in the home to raise the kids. I’m not sure I could live in a house where someone was killed or died.
If your spouse passed away in your home would you still live there or move? If they passed away in a specific piece of furniture like the bed, chair, etc would you keep it or get rid of it? Could you live in a house where family members were killed?
[b]**AT PEACE WITHIN**
~~STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS~~[/b]
11 people like this
13 responses
@sanimie (3)
• Philippines
22 Jul 09
I don't know whether we ought to get rid of things that may remind you of our dear departed. If it is too painful to you every time you see it then may be it is best for you to discard it. But then, if you look at it in another point of view, things or belongings of your loved ones should be treasured and considered a memorabilia in honor of his past deeds. Our mind is the best tool in putting colors and description in our imagination. If the passing away is quiet and peaceful, it is easy for us to treasure the things and memories we had with them. However, if their passing away is a tragic one, I'm sure it will be very hard for us to get over it immediately. I guess withdrawing ourselves from the tragic scene is a part of the healing process.
@JenInTN (27514)
• United States
27 Jul 09
Oh my..I don't know. If it were my spouse I guess it would depend on the age. If it were just old age that he passed from..yes I would stay..but murder...that's different. I think that it would be very hard to do so. I may rid myself of the exact furniture but then again I may actually wasnt to keep it..I don't know..it's hard to say. Great discussion. Really makes you think.
1 person likes this
@suzzy3 (8341)
•
23 Jul 09
I would stay in the same house as it is my home that I have shared with my partner all my married life.All my memories would be there.Good times and bad times it is the place I shared all those with my husband ,there is no way I could move away from him and the memories we shared together.We all took turns in my father in laws chair after he passed away.It made us feel closer to him,We don't get near it now as my mother in law has moved into it full time,mind you it does give a good view of the street and she can at 88 yearsof age be nosy,watching all the movement in the street,who's going for coffee ect,she recounts every movement of everyone when we visit her,she is lovely and kind.Bless her .
@scififan43 (2434)
• United States
30 Jul 09
Thoses are some very intersting questions. I am not sure on that one. I do not think I would let that bother me but it might. I think I would want to go some place ealse if the momories were too painfull.
@Canellita (12029)
• United States
31 Jul 09
I think it would be hard to leave the home you shared because it would be like leaving that last connection behind. There is no need to move out to move on unless you chose to remarry at some point and the "ghost" of your spouse was threatening to interfere with your relationship.
@mamacathie (3928)
• United States
22 Jul 09
I am like you I hope I pass away in my sleep. But if my husband were to pass away first I would not want to move. I would want to stay here with all the memories to keep him with me that way. My daddy passed away in their home but my mama moved in with us when he did pass away. She passed away in a hospital bed here in my front room. I still have precious memories of her and wouldn't want to give that up for anything by moving. No, I want to stay here for the rest of my life. Thanks again for a great discussion. God bless you!
@mcelhenney (481)
• United States
21 Jul 09
Like you I pray that I will Just go to sleep...My husband passed away within a few hours after I had taken him to the hospital..I lived in our house for a number of years before I had to move..If he had passed away at home I don't know if I could have stayed there or not..If family members were killed in my home I could not stay in it any more.It would be too much on my mind,I just could not stay..
My dad lived with his sister and he passed away in his bedroom..She found him on the floor early one morning..She stayed in her home but it was bad on her as she could not get over it..She passed a little over a year after my dad..She was in the hospital when she passed..
@fwidman (11514)
• United States
21 Jul 09
Unless they made a terrible mess of the furniture then I would keep it. I would also stay in the house. In the Florida case you mention, no matter where that girl goes she is going to have painful thoughts and memories. So, why not just stay in the same house as before?
@deejean06 (1952)
• United States
21 Jul 09
Hi twoey...This is an awfully intense discussion and isn't an easy answer either way. I'm not sure I'd be able to live in a house where someone passed away or worse, killed. However in the case of the family in Florida maybe the eldest doesn't have a house to accommodate everyone. Since it has been so publicized who will purchase the house if she decides to sell it? It's a tough situation for the entire family.
@Citychic (4067)
• United States
21 Jul 09
stay or move.........
Hi there friend, most likely I would keep the piece of furniture around that was a reminder of them. For example there is a certain chair that my hubby likes to sit in. I would probably keep it around until I had outgrown the sentimental state. Although he and i not really that close I would still keep certain memories of him inside my heart. The only reason we are living where we are right now is because of him. So I would have no reason to want to continue to stay here if he was gone. I would probably go back to my old home or start off somewhere else new again. I guess it would just all depend on how much you care for the person as to whether you'd want to go on living in the same place they once lived and if you'd want to keep the furniture of not. Great post!
Happy mylot..........
Happy mylot.......... @anniefannie (1737)
• United States
22 Jul 09
i think i would have to move but this family has a lot of children and it would be a big mess trying to find something else that suited their needs
@matheshwaran (11)
• India
22 Jul 09
Most probably, I wont stay for sometime after the event happens. Because the thoughts will delay my doings.. After a long time, i will again move to my home.
