husband and wife issue, can you HELP me?

Well I am not sure of the situation..If your husband is working every day & you are also working every day then you two should share the chores.If he is the only one working, then he can still help but if you are at home all day I would suggest you do as much as possible & expect a little less from him...If you have children then he should always share the chores when he gets home...He should help you with certain things such as taking out the trash, mowing the lawn & doing other things when he is home...Sometimes men feel if they are out making a living then the woman takes care of all the household duties, which i feel is wrong..a man should help out on his time off from work...

There are somany women who go through the same experiences with the partners. Some men can be educated about the fact that house chores are never ending while some are just pig headed always believing the woman has life easier because she is at home. My solution to this starts with the male child. Just like girls are groomed learning to do household chores the same applies to the boys for me. I refuse to bring up a boy child who does not know how to wash, clean, cook and even shop for groceries just like the girls do. That for me helps them to appreciate the real nature of these chores more and then I would be satisfied that whoever they marry will be getting a great husband. As for me. I really do not enter into arguements with the man about the chores. From the offset it is established that building a home is for both partners. Earning and supporting the family is only one aspect. Their are many more to be covered which requires constant attention. I hope your hubby changes his attitude soon.

yes, the only task of Men is making their be lovers happy, if you feel he should help you, why not tell him directly, don't hide your thought, tell him, let him know that you wanna him help. 4 year is not a short time, good luck.

Are you equal in your work? I mean, do you both work all day, or does one of you stay home? I stay home right now, so I try to do all the household chores because he has a very demanding job. But, since I am pregnant, and get tired very easy, he does little things to help me out when he can, because he worries about me. And offers to do things like run to the grocery store on his way home, even though I know he is very tired, but it keeps me out of the heat and off my feet. So, the important thing is that you feel equal and are helping each other out. Maybe you could go on that wife swap show so he would appreciate you more.

jelamar, try this idea. Talk to him as calmly and seriously as possible and point out that he gets to leave his job and come home. But you do not ever get to leave your 'job.' Ask him to let you go to the grocery store or even shopping for something for him orthe kids, just for an hour. And let him see how hard it is to take care of a two year old! If you get despararte enough, tell him it's too much work for you and he has to choose one chore you will stop doing. Then see how he likes the garbage piling up or his socks not washed!! unfortunately, some men just don't get it. they have to see the hard way, that it's too much work for one person.

Have you sat down to have a conversation about this with him?I had the opposite thing happen.I worked and he stayed home and didn't do much around the house.He does need to "chip in" at times!Especially with his own messes!!! That's just my two cents!!???

Yes, I do think that he should help you. Of course you are at home more and so yes...more of the chores and all will fall on your shoulders.Still, you deserve breaks. You are both in this together and yes, he should help.

Well, for me husband and wife should really help in everything, may it be house chores or in earning. Because in these generation we have and not just the generation thing but what is happening in our economy and the crisis that we are encountering. Husband and wife should unite in order to survive and enjoy life. And in a husband and wife thing communication is important. Have you told him about it? I mean you should both have a good communication and talk about it. :D I hope that i have helped even if a little to you :D

Hi, I understand your plight. It is all about talking it out. I would suggest that you sit with him and calmly discuss it. Since he is the earning member, it does not mean to say that he has to dictate terms as to who will do the household chores. He also should feel happy and peaceful when he comes home from work, for which he sure will have to co operate and help you with your chores or atleast manage the kid. If you could calmly discuss it out with him, I am sure things will turn out better. Good luck anyways and happy mylotting.

hey, what is your definition about marriage? if you're defining it as something like work for your partner and then complain...then marriage for you then is not love. work as if you work for the entire family, if the other one is incapable then fill it up. later on things will turn out fine. best thing is LISTEN and UNDERSTAND. don't work if you complain...don't be selfish. if you think your partner is selfish then you shouldn't be. lay down your pride dude or end up with a broken home...

Yes, of course the better half should giving a helping hand to his wife especially if you have a small child. I think you should make it clear to him in what kinds of jobs you exactly expect him to help you. It is in fact too tiring to do household jobs as well as taking care of the child. He can very well help you in all possible ways. You can also avoid doing some of his jobs(like washing his cloths) by saying you were busy with other jobs and did not get the time to do it, naturally he may start doing it himself and it may be of some help to you.

I think it is most important to sit down and tell him how you feel. In my opinion since you do stay at home, you probably should be doing most of the chores. If you were both working however, I would see there needing to be an equal partnership. But that is just my opinion. Let him know what is going on so that you can talk it over rather than letting is store up inside until you decide you no longer want to be in the marriage. Communication is the most vital part of any relationship.

Well, for me as a unmarried student now, I am not quite know about that situation. However, I can give you some information from my parents in China. They have been married more than twenty years and experienced many hard time. They both believe that respecting to each other is the most important thing between couples. If mother cook the dinner, then father knows that its his turn to wash dishes. That is the way not only for couples but also for anyone we deal with I think.

yes you are right with the shores/ task in our life being wife and single worker in our home. My hushband is work and going home at 7 pm. From morning until that time my chores still there, with meses in my children room, and meses in living room, but he never mad at me. I try to clean up it every day, but some time our body cannot hold it up. Just don't give your madness to your children, their not guilty person. And make conversation with your hushband if he already calm down from his work, just give him playing with his children, because it says: tired will be lost if we see/look our children.

You both should sit and discuss ... not who should do what, but that helping each other makes it easiar to live. It is not that you want him to do all house chores for you but yes he can help by doing small things like picking used utensils to the sink and the like, which are not heavy chores but help in saving time of the other person.

Hello jelamar. You are not alone!!My sister and I have this discussion every other week! Let me teel you how I see it in my home. Not everything will relate but maybe you can get something from this. I too am a stay at home mother.I do the housework and take care of the kids one being a two yr old, tough job in itself!My husband works day shift.The difference in our jobs is that he has a bell! Our job is endless,24/7. I think my husband at times fails to realize how difficult it really is. He and I have already gone head to head about whose job is harder. He ,for reasons unknown, thinks I have it easy, therefore feels tat the evening time is when he should have to relax. So..when's my time to relax and enjoy a tv show or book? I'll tell you when,when the kids are in bed and the house is all clean .Then it is 12 at night and I can barely hold my head up!lol Fortunatly latley its been better and he has been helping more in the evening,I suppose helping me is better than hearing me b8tching! Bottom line,parenting and housework are hard. And just because someone works doesnt mean they cant help their partner a little bit. When my huband gets back from work he rests,then after we eat he helps out to give me a break, it works out good like that...on those days.

Hey jelamar! I think that even though you are not the one that is out of the house working your husband could still help you with some of the chores when he is home! My boyfriend works outside our home and even though we are older and have no children together he does so many chores around the house and also does errands for me! He is a great help! I make dinner and he sometimes will even wash the dishes! There is no reason why your husband can't pitch in and help once in awhile! You are supposed to be in a partnership and that means you both are supposed to help each other with as much as you can and being that you have children together that really means even more!

I think this is something that the two of you need to talk about. Yes he is the bread winner and you are home, but that doesn't mean you don't need a break from the daily grind. I would suggest you also doing something for yourself. Like join a woman's group, bowling league or something that is all yours. You are a mother and wife, but when you are tied to home all the time you forget that you are still a woman. I think sometimes resentment builds up because you are home with the children and he gets to leave everyday for a job. I think you need to talk with him and truely find something for yourself too that is all your own. Being home all the time can be overwhelming and you need a break too.

This is the problem existing in almost every family . Man always wants to step away from housework because they don't get used to it when they grow up. They grow up as spoiled children by their mothers. They are taught that they are supposed to do housework which should be done by women. So you see what happen in the end ? Women don't think like that and women want to share the housework. In this situation it's hard to change him but don't give up. Take it step by step.

Well, I have no experience on marriage, but you should make him do stuff, be more rigid.