Future in-laws hate me

Hello bluehibiscus I am from India and i can tell you the reason behind their behavior.They see number of divorce there in your country [i suppose here that you are from western country] and they assume that people in western countries dont take marriage seriously.they tend to break marriage on small small issue.This is a common assumption and thats the reason Indian parents oppose such a marriages.But its a misunderstanding.Once they know you enough they will think differently.

well the best thing you can do is to be patient my sis... i think that is a way of god to know how you strong... and i think one day your in laws are good to you someday....

Obviously they are disappointed that you are not Indian. I hope that your fiance can stand up to his parents and tell them that you are his woman he respects you and he is going to marry you no matter what they have to say in the matter. The sooner they accept his decision the better it will be for all, if he is not willing to stick up for you now, he never will be. He knows what the problem is and I would watch carefully what he does.

i think that's the culture in India. if your guy has a strong roots and a devote follower of their indian culture, i think you will have a problem later on. even if you get married, you still have to deal with their parents especially if you live close to them or if they are very close to their son. but love conquers all. if he really loves you too, he will fight for you.

Oh dear, poor you. I've gone through this before too. My in-laws oppose me because I dont speak their mother tongue. Eventhough I am the same race as they are but I am brought up differently and I do not speak their language and my culture and beliefs are just different from them. They are the typical old fashion type of people and I am just the opposite. My husband was suppose to be living with them, but decided to get a place for our own because he knows I wont be able to get along with my in-laws. In my case, my husband chose me and I dont mean for your husband to need to choose sides, but sometimes, he just need to take a stand. Now, we have a beautiful 2 year old son and my in laws are treating me better!

Hi Blue I know the feeling. Indians are some of the most racist & elitist people around. Some people will change, most will not. The main thing you have to remember is that you are marrying him & not his parents. May you find all the happiness you deserve. Before anyone takes a shot at me for my comment about Indians, let me say this. I'm from a mixed marriage (father from a conservative Indian family, mother not Indian). The way Indians most Indians treat my mother is disgusting (we live in an Indian neighbourhood). Thankfully, the younger generation does not have that outdated belief system.

There's no simple answer to your problem, but from my own experience with in-laws who disliked me and tried to get my husband not to marry me, I'd say that the future success of your marriage may depend more on your husband than on you. My husband and I tried to treat his relatives with respect and friendship, but when nothing changed, he broke off with them completely. They opposed our marriage because they felt my husband was obligated to them for certain things and that having a wife would make him more independent and less likely to give them the "payback" they thought they deserved. If your in-laws don't interfere in your marriage once it's a done deal, then you probably have nothing to worry about. If your fiance wants to maintain the relationship and include you in visits, etc., but they continue their animosity toward you, then you have a problem. In the end, it all depends on how close your fiance is to his family and how much he would expect you to put up with. Will he side with them or you if there are conflicts? Children will likely make any conflicts more intense, so you need to take that into account. Will your in-laws still treat you like dirt but expect full access to their grandchildren? Would they try to influence your children against you? Those are some of the things you need to think about -- before marriage.

Its sad that sometimes people judge you even if they dont know you that much yet. If they havents spoken to you for more then 5 mins then all they know are things they heard from other other people. Just stay with your fiance as long as he wants you to, and prove them wrong..prove to them that all their accusations as not true and that you really love your fiance more then anything. it will take time, but im sure it will come.

hello bluehibiscus, So sorry to know that your future-in-laws hate you. Indeed all parents want their children to be married with someone who they think is best for them. And because of this, if they found out that if their son/daughter is already in love to someone else rather than the person whom they like for her/him that's why they are reacting that way. Which I believe is not fair to anyone who is in your position. Don't mind them. Just do what you think is good and best for both of you. What matters is that you love each other so much and that you have each other. Your boyfriend and you not them will live together and your coming children. They'll soon realize - I hope, that what they did to you was wrong and unfair. Be happy. Don't stress your self. Enjoy each others company for if you mind them your relationship will be affected. Just talk to them. If they ignore you, it's not your fault anymore.

Take initiative to present your best to your future in laws. If you love their son, better have their blessings. I understand your feeling. And I heard about similar cases, which come to good ending.

If you already know in your heart that you are a good person to your fiance, then I don't think you should worry so much about how your future in-laws feel about you just because of the simple fact that your future marriage only consists of just you and him.... I understand that in marrying another person you end "marrying" their family also but really in the end it's just all about you two. Every family has some sort of a dysfunction so I'm sure that you have that on yours also, so how do you deal with those dysfunctions in your immediate family? Deal with your in-laws in the same way, because as much as you would like to you cannot get rid of family :) So just keep doing your thing and they would eventually realize and understand that you are always going to be there as his wife and God granted, the mother of their grandchild/children. So just shrug this off your shoulder, it's just one of the many bumps that you would encounter in a marriage, this is nothing, there's other things to worry about like how to make the wedding a beautiful day! Good luck!

I wouldnt care i went through the same thing kinda, my fiancee's family doesnt like me they said i was a bad person because i drank i wouldnt support her or my kids at the time we had none , they didnt approve of me not one bit and still dont and we have 2 kids, but she didnt let her family get in the way of us. you are going to marry who u want to marry be with who you want to be with they can't stop you 2 from loving eachother. impossible

If you future husband is from India, well, that's the challenge that you need to take and prove them wrong. it's a long road for acceptance. they are also conservative like my country. that's the problem when conservative parents are not as open-minded and selfless as they should be.

this is a spot your in ive been there myself as the husband with family who gave the bride to be troubles. The year before the wedding ,I told them, her future in-laws; i love her more than i love myself and there was nothing they could do to stop us from getting married.after that they didn't say much to me about the love of my life and our speicial day.this is your fiance's fight if i were you id lay low see what develops. then when comer heads haved won. you will all go out to dinner and by this time it is my hope there will be so much love in that room that hate will have no place their.ps we celebrated our 15th wedding anniversary in june.

People often act irrationally. Especially where their kids are concerned. I am sorry for what you are going through. All you can do is try to ignore them. Stay by his side like you said that you are doing, and laugh in their faces (on the inside of course). Maybe one day, I hope, they will see how horrible they have acted and will change. If not, it doesn't really matter. All that matters is how the two of you feel about each other.