Do people give too much advice to newly divorced?
By eaforeman6
@eaforeman6 (8979)
United States
8 responses
@byfaithonly (10698)
• United States
27 Jul 09
My thought is it's always easier for people to give advice than to receive it so when people have gotten like this with me 'love doctors' love it :) I just remind myself that they are NOT walking in my shoes and only I can decide what is best for me.
@starlight70 (316)
• Malaysia
27 Jul 09
I think people just want to care. They just feel that they should share some tips. They did not claim to be love doctor, nor they think they have the answers to everything. I was around when an elderly lady gave advice to my young colleague who was about to get married. My goodness - this one was bad. She kept telling the young lady of marriage not bring a bed of roses. It is not all fun. It is not all roses. Do not trust the in-laws. They poison your children's mind against you. Blah blah blah. I pitied the young lady, but thank goodness she knows which advice to accept or not to accept.
@GardenGerty (160697)
• United States
28 Jul 09
Some people give too much advice to everyone. A good, bland answer would be, "Thanks, I'll keep that in mind." and then do just what you think is right.No one knows exactly what went on in your circumstances.
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (58676)
• Delhi, India
28 Jul 09
Hi there!
I think most of the people love giving unsoliciting advice not only on divorce issues but on other 'personal matters' too . It is favourite pass time for many people to render unsoliciting advice, as they want to prove to others that they are wiser and smarter and more knowledgeable. We can just ignore them, if they cross their limits or if they start getting on to our nerves.
@mentalward (14690)
• United States
28 Jul 09
Everyone has their own opinion, usually based on their own experiences. I wouldn't take any "advice" per se, but see it as opinions only. You have to decide what is right or wrong, using your own heart and head as a guide.
If I asked for advice, I'd listen to everything everyone had to say, but still make my own decisions. If I don't ask for advice, but get it anyway, I'd politely say that I didn't ask for advice.
I don't think that anyone can be an expert on marriage, divorce or separation. They can only give you their opinions. You have to take those opinions, weigh them all, then come up with your own plan of action. Of course, if it's a matter of physical safety, I think that most people would have the same opinion: get out of that relationship as soon as possible! But, still, it all boils down to what you feel in your heart and head.
@AmbiePam (92789)
• United States
27 Jul 09
It's like when people without children try to give parenting advice to new parents. Same goes with divorce. If one has never been divorced, please don't say stuff that you know nothing about. I mean besides the whole please get counseling, you will feel better (although who wants to hear that), and I'm here for you, unless one has been there, what can one say who has never been divorced?
1 person likes this
@momoftwingirls (859)
• United States
27 Jul 09
Well I am not divorced, but yes, I do think they do. Unless the divorced person asks for advice, it should not be given to them. Divorce is always a touchy subject and so many others issues that might come up.