If I Saw My Father,Should I Still Forgive Him?

if i were in your situation, i'd forgive him because no matter what happened HE IS STILL YOUR FATHER nobody can change that! without him your not in this world. so forgive him and start all over again

rberon, seeing you this story, I would now imagine my baby asking me the same question in due course... Well, this is what I will tell her. [/i]My girl, that's your father, if you have a thought for him, you are always welcome to acknowledge and forgive him. However, as a mother, and a person that he has hurt me deeply, I have forgiven him, and no longer want to know anything about him. If you ever want to forgive your dad, I have nothing much to say. No matter if you forgive him or not, he is still the person that contribute to your birth' [/i] I think you should talk to your mum, and see what she has to say. For me, a father is someone that is responsible in taking care of you, and not being an irresponsible. If the man is not responsible, therefore, it's just a contributor towards your birth, and not to say your father. All the best and try to follow your sense.. sometimes it works..

I think you can forgive him if you can find it in your heart, but forgetting what he did is another matter. Just because you forgive him does not mean you have to have a relationship with him. Harboring resentmetn is bad but that doesnt mean that what he did was OK by you or that you have to be friends with him.

Seven years is a long time, may be I wouldn't even talk to him if saw him again some day. Who knows may be left us because he was unhappy with us and couldn't say that straight so left us making an excuse of searching for a good job. If he is willing to talk to you himself, then you should listen to him, tell him about the problems your mom had to face because of all this, and then decide whether you want to forgive or not!

So sorry to hear about that. So you have no keep in touch with him trough out the 7 years? If I was you, I choose to listen to him first if there is a chance to meet up your father. Lets see what he has done or what was happened to him for this 7 years. I will see what your mummy think about him. Forgive him if ur mum and pther family member too agree to do so.

If you see him again, just ask him why he had left you. And then you'll know what to do!

I think you can use this experience to make yourself a better person. You may decide not to forget what your father has done but for your sake you really should forgive. Just because one forgives the actions of another does not mean they must completely forget what has been done. Forgiveness is done more so for one's self and less for the person they harbor the feelings against. Once you forgive your father then you can begin to move on with your life and leave that chapter behind. Of course you will always remember what pain he instilled in your lives and you will be better for that. You will probably become more suspicious of others, not easily trusting. this can be good or bad, just don't let it completely run your life. You will know what is right when the time comes and even if you choose not to forgive today, at some point you will see life will be better when you do forgive.

It is said that we don't get to choose what happens to us in life, but we are the only ones who can decide what we will do with it. Your father made a choice that brought pain to you and your mother. That was his choice and his fault, not yours. We often lump two or more separate choices together, making them seem like the same thing. His choices aren't yours, and your choices aren't his. He decided to leave, that was his choice... a choice that brought pain on you and your mother. How long you carry that pain isn't about him or his choice at all.. it's all on you. Only you can decide what his choice means to your future. You can choose to carry it with you like a great weight your whole life, or you can choose to cast it aside and let it go. As far as how to react if you ever see him again, that's a tougher question. There are benefits and consequences to talking to him, or acting as if he doesn't exist. Sadly, you don't know which choice is the best until after the decision is made. I'd say that the most important part is to let the pain go, and forgive him. It's not for his benefit, since it won't mean a thing to his life at all, but it will make a difference in the rest of your life.

I think you should forgive him.There is no good in building up the negative energy within you and you will not ever feel happy with your life when you are always hating someone else. There will not be peace for you everyday and night. Somehow if you were to forgive him, then you shall feel something nice, something good and your life will be changed. I know it is hard for you to just forgive after all that has happened but slowly and gradually.

Hello there, i am sorry to hear this thing, well your brave enough to face the situation. I mean i know for 7 years without your father you really do all the best for yourself and i know you are brave enough when you see your father one day and you know how you will be react. If i am in the situation i will forgive him we have only one father in the world and i know no matter what happened he still your father. We dont expect your father to be back in your family because you said he has his family now but i will ask you are you happy now in your situation? Do you think its much happier when you forgive your father and live peacefully without thinking too much about him. Well i dont know if i make sense here, but i hope one day you can get along happy mylotting.

Hello there friend, I can understand what you feel,but i guess your father had some good reason for his absence.If ever you will saw him again,why not sit and talk with him,listen to him. Or,does it never came up to you and your mom if he is still alive?You asks "if ever you saw him again" this means you are sure he is still alive...but,what if he is not?What if,on his way to look for a job he met an accident?Did you ever tried to search for him/his whereabouts?

Hi rberon... so sorry to know about your current situation. Sigh, ya it's an unforgiving situation but first, if you ever saw him again, find out what on earth happened? Why has there been absolutely no communication from him? Your mom is a very strong woman. By the way, this is just a suggestion: you might want to get the police to help locate him in case something terrible has happened - touch wood! At least you'd know where he is; after all, he's been MIA for 7 years!! ... or you'd prefer to just let him go and wait & see? Hope things will turn out ok for you and your mom.

being honest, if i were you, i will never forgive him if he left without giving any reasons. I can't tell a good reason but just that i can't accept this...

Dude, you know what? Your father will always be your father...Thats it..

He deserves no forgiveness…whatever happened with him, none of you were responsible for that. The decision to leave for another job was his and not matter what the circumstances were, his primary responsibility should have been towards his wife and children. Even if he had set up another family with another lady, he should have informed back home so that your mom, if she wanted, could have thought of seeing another person and maybe start her life afresh. The fact that he kept you all waiting and never bothered to drop a line, makes it very cruel on his part.

for your peace of mind and happiness, you should learned to forgive him because you cannot changed the fact that he is your father. You wont exist without him... maybe there's a reason behind that's why he did that. You should listen to him whether his reason is acceptable or not. we cannot achieve the peace of mind and the happiness if we live in pain and anger. i know its hard but dont ever forget that no matter what he is still your father... good luck and god bless.

Relationships are always worth restoring, no matter how painful they maybe. Because life is all about love, and learning how to love. I know it's not easy to forgive but God wants us to value relationships and make the effort to maintain them instead of discarding them whenever there is a rift, a hurt, or a conflict. He's your father and he deserves your forgiveness.

I do believe that after reading the earlier responses here, you know now what to do when you eventually meet your Dad. As others are saying, only you can decide whether you forgive or not. They, including me, are of the opinion that forgiveness should be given. And that is not for the benefit of your father. It's more for you to continue to enjoy life without hang-ups and regrets.

now matter what happen he is still your father even after life! forgiving something makes a person have a peace of his heart and also to your father!

yes. because whatever happened, he's still your father. but forgiving really takes time so don't force yourself. let your heart decide when you're ready. sometimes, we find it hard to forgive, especial if the people who cause your pain is your family or anyone close to your heart. been there, done that